The thing is, very few blokes measure up to Clooney.
A Keoghs partner has been revealing the human side of lawyers by documenting the pitfalls of dating as a middle-aged woman.
By day, Helen Webster is a partner in charge of training fee-earners in Keoghs’ motor fraud team. But after a relationship ended, she decided to work through her split on TikTok, and has now produced over 500 videos covering her experiences in the world of dating.
Webster began by capturing herself at her most vulnerable moment, telling the camera tearfully, “It’s one thing hurting me - but hurt my kids, I’ll hate you forever more” after her boyfriend of four years cut off contact with her family.
After pronouncing a few days later that she was over her split - “I couldn’t really care less anymore, after a week and three days, I’m over it” - Webster predicted she would be done with the app. Instead she began to document the ups and downs of navigating a break-up, and her subsequent experiences on the dating scene.
Ranging from funny to saucy to moving, Webster’s videos employ TikTok’s language of personality quizzes, memes and mimes to track her daunting journey through the - often brutal - hunt for a decent man.
Her #datingdisasters diary features dispiritingly frequent encounters with men who ghost her. “Why are they putting in all that effort if they’re not going to do anything about it?”, asks Webster.
Other men employ ‘breadcrumbing’ tactics by leading her on with small parcels of affection, “just to keep you hanging on”, without ever committing to a relationship.
Webster also reflects candidly on how she may be a victim of her own taste in men. Reviewing a failed date, she explains that she wasn’t taking things further because the man in question was simply too nice: “I just like bad boys too much”.
In one TikTok, the lawyer recalls gently letting down an over-confident 30-year-old who arrived on a fold-up scooter and asked her to stow it in her boot. Another charmer asked to meet her at a service station for their first date.
The Keoghs partner’s reports offer a sobering insight into middle-aged dating - so hopefully her children can forgive her for taking to TikTok to provide it.