A choir of CMS lawyers lit up the internet this week, only to be yanked offline a few hours later.
That's a pity, because their effort was absolutely delightful.
Assembled virtually, the staff appeared in little bubbles in a music video published on the firm's website. Those who caught it enjoyed a stirring tribute to the glory of working in a corporate law firm.
A couple of the participants have the same energy as hostages reading their captors' demands, but others evidently relished the opportunity to engage their lungs after weeks stuck at home.
It must have been a herculean task syncing them up, especially because one japester wore a pink curly wig for some sections, a legionnaires hat for others, and also appeared dressed as a pumpkin. RollOnFriday assumes he is a partner. "When we draft, when we meet, when we train, when we bill, we are one", they cry.
The lyricist has the choir express sentiments about a law firm which are so absurdly lofty it can't help but raise a smile, or at least a fixed grin of horrified sympathy as 15 solicitors sing, "And we just love being lawyers with all of our hearts. And we shall care for our clients with all our soul, and our might".
Alongside soaring declarations of love for clients from Glasgow to Kyiv are lyrics which describe the quotidian realities of working life in lockdown. "From the hall, From the shed, From the lounge, From the bed, We are one", they sing, working in the firm's tagline seamlessly.
Reviews from sources who supplied the video were mixed, ranging from "A little treat" to "😂" to "I’ve been cringing and subconsciously clawing at the floor so hard that I’m now sending this tweet to you from approximately 70ft underground with the bloody stumps that are the remains of my fingers".
But RollOnFriday's view is that 'We Are One' by CMS is the total package, comprising the perfect time capsule of law firms in the first half of 2020. It's got the video call, it's got fancy dress, it's got people looking either haunted or dosed on home-brewed coffee, and it's got a remote team bonding exercise coming off a bit weirdly.
It was also released to the public by accident. A CMS spokesperson said, "The choir chorus is special but for internal use only, a good show of camaraderie and compliments our great team spirit".
While it has been deleted, a little piece lives on.
Comments
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Never been so happy to be ex-Nabarro rather than ex-CMS. The shame is very much diluted.
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Surely it should be complements our great team spirit?
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Very diverse bunch of lawyers I see.
That is cringe. Make it humorous at least
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We have enough trouble hanging onto talent in the city by competing with the super suave highly paying US firms, without leaking cringey out of touch choir videos to alienate our clients, associates and prospective trainees.
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I used to work for a firm they absorbed. Can I sue them for the shame I now feel?
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@Scarred I am in the same boat as you. Class action?
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There’s a video doing the rounds of a shep wed partner’s parody of that cliff richard summer holiday song. Includes an amusing line about sniffing glue. Which makes CMS’ effort seem a bit tame.
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A shame there is no longer footage of the video about Andrew Leaitherland's yacht song by some departing partners.
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I think mass strike offs are the only reasonable response here.
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Friday drinks must be a hoot with these “when we bill” legends! Horrific.
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An ingenious idea from management to quickly and effortlessly cut staff costs: All employees with a sense of self worth will leave the firm of their own volition as soon as they see the video.
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They should all resign immediately from the human race.
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Why did we (humanity) do to deserve this abomination? Why didn't somebody stop this? What does this say about the judgment of CMS' people? It's neither charming not quirky - it's terrifying.
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Grim. Just ... grim.
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I was about to ask why one of them was apparently dressed as a vagina, but then
1. Noted the green stalk, so assume he's a tomato.
2. Realised that, regardless, it wouldn't actually have been the most remarkable thing about the video.
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I wonder how many truckloads of antidepressants it took this crew to get through it?
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I just puked a little.
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It could be worse. I'm in-house at KPMG and we have this theme song:
https://youtu.be/NCvKXgp-Awo
It sounds like something Ricky Gervais made up, but I swear to God it's a real thing.
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How cringe making - at least I am retired from the firm. I wonder who thought of posting it on the firm's website.