When I was at university, my best mate went to visit his family in Ireland and had a great time - drinking heavily, being cheeky, getting into scrapes. He told me one story which I find hard to believe but I really want it to be true.
After a night at the pub he and his cousins were driving home (very illegally considering how much they had been drinking). They live in rural Ireland so there was very little traffic at 1am and when they came to a roundabout his cousins thought it would be hilarious to go round it in reverse.
All was going well until another car appeared at speed and they collided at which point the other driver called the Garda. My mate’s cousin was bricking it as he was well over the limit and needed his licence for his job.
The boys in blue turned up and spoke to the other driver first and then breathalysed him. My mate was a bit puzzled to se the guy getting into the police car but the officer then approached his cousin and, allegedly, said, “On your way boys, that bloke was so pissed he thought you were driving backwards!”
Anyone got any similar tall tales you’d love to be true?
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You’ve clearly massively inspired everyone to post Jim
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Heard that tale at university too
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A policeman who went to university? That is hard to believe!
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Jim were you contemplating a career in law? Chap at my old school tried to become a bazza but joined the police when he didn't make it.
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Nope Clive - languages. Never interested in either law or policing until I hit 30 and realised I didn’t have a pension!
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Most police either ‘didn’t make it’ or were simply school bullies
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I’m amazed you know “most police” Risky. You must have quite the criminal record.
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Risky being bullied at school by someone who went on to be police is his villain origin story for sure.
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Also noted cliverisky doing some dirty work up there.
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Supervillain TeamUp
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I didn't say supervillain for reasons that are obvious.
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At lunch today I was eavesdropping on a fascinating conversation behind me. About a case, a criminal case, transpired the woman speaking was in the Met and she was telling her v elderly father about a convoluted and violent case; seems the father had been in the Met also - described it as “Wholly corrupt” in his day.
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Good for her to have followed him into the job tbf, but sounds grim obvs.
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This is your origin story royalty
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That's great risky. I'd be delighted if that was true.
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Did you mean salvaged?
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You’re so bitter and twisted you can’t even give me a ‘heh’ now
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Is that your school uniform at your posh school?
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You get a 'heh' when you earn a 'heh'. Stop begging.
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Whatevs
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighthouse_and_naval_vessel_urban_legend
This one
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Thanks Rhialto for actually engaging with the OP. Very sad to read it is a myth.
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Heh at RR. No genuine chap i knew. Tbf bar very hard to succeed in so fair play to him for going to another career with an excellent pension.
Re engagement with Jim's OP mate at uni supposedly shagged Lauren Laverne. Turned out to be BS but only confirmed about 15 years after.
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Hey Clive. Have you ever thought about not being risky? Give it a go?
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I have a number of stories and actually most of them are true
Save them for centrist dad drinks
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In Championship Manager I took Woking from the Conference to the Champions League in 6 seasons. After that came out I was offered a job in the England setup.
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My mate's dad, slightly inebriated, decided to drive home from the pub and the police stopped him. It was a rainy night. The officer asked him for his driving licence. Anyone shitfaced trying to appear sober often moves in an exagerated way.
He told the officer his licence was in the glove box and leant over to retrieve it. As he did, the police officer moved his head into the car slightly, to avoid some of the rain.
Having retrieved the licence, using that drunkard's movement, he sprung back up into a sitting upright position with extreme force and speed; headbutting the policeman with the side of his head.
Plod staggered back, was stunned and embarrassed and sent him on his way.
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Heh.
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I just came here to lol at risky saying "police officers didn't make it"
1) police officers are a good job, reasonable cash and adds to society
2) people with huge inherited wealth who failed in becoming lawyers and so check passports and utility bills in their mum's firm all day definitely didn't 'make it'
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The one about Work Experience believing he’s doing the country a favour by being PM, given his background, unearned wealth, and entitlement.
oh no, you’re right, that’s not only true it’s an actual nightmare as he and his minted mates are laughing at Britain. Get out, and take the other placeholders with you.
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I’d love the story to be true about Charlize Theron and Margot Robbie turning up on my doorstep and announcing they’re in need of a middle aged conveyancer to help them with some naked colouring in to be true.
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Think this might be the thread you want Sails: https://www.rollonfriday.com/discussion/fridays-getting-banned-sex-thre…
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Good of Jim to admit he only went into ‘public service’ to rinse the taxpayer. Getting to beat them up and associate with couzens types as well just a side benefit
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Stop being a dick Risky
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*throbber
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It's got to be the one about Rag Week at Oxford University, in days long past.
A bunch of schoodunts were in a coffee house and noticed some rude mechanicals digging up the road.
So one of them went to phone the police and inform them that schoodunts dressed as navvies were digging up the road as a rag prank.
Another went out to warn the navvies that a bunch of schoodunts dressed as policemen were going to come and try to arrest them as a rag prank.
Then they all ordered another coffee and waited for mayhem.
I wish it were true, but it seems it is apocryphal.
Apologies to those who read this last time I posted it here.
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Love it.
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