"We are a firm that understands you, the market and...blarghhhhh."
In-house lawyers responding to The RollOnFriday In-House Lawyer Survey 2024 have been revealing instances when they have been less than delighted with the firms they instruct.
One in-house lawyer in the energy sector said: "I was asked by a trainee to wake up a CEO to close a deal at 2am, when it could wait until the morning." They suggested that firms "bring in an extra body" on matters, to "enable some people to function with a personality."
One head of legal noticed on their invoices that a City firm had the "cheek of billing me for my chaser emails", when the firm had been working on another deal.
A GC reported a tight-fisted approach by one firm to business development. "We were invited to drinks by some of our lawyers, all partners from different departments at a well known city firm who received 7-figures in fees from the company. It turns out they weren't paying for drinks, and after some awkward shuffling around and tentative reaching for bank cards, we had to pay for them..."
In another marketing disaster, a head of legal in funds went for a lunch with corporate lawyers at a prestigious City firm: "The associates seemed quite reserved whilst the partner was with them but when the partner left they livened up," said the GC.
"Unfortunately, a junior lawyer decided her partner leaving meant she could get wasted. It started with her playing Coldplay on her phone super loudly and not listening when the staff at this Michelin star restaurant asked her to stop, followed by her vomiting all over the table. The poor senior associate who looked mortified had to take her home and we, the client, had to end up paying for the meal and an extra clean up fee."
The GC added: "The senior associate clearly mortified still, called me later that day to apologise and then I had the head of that team call me multiple times over the week just to say how embarrassed she was and obviously that they'd be paying the bill. We didn't instruct them again and last I saw both on LinkedIn, both associates had moved on shortly after."
The biggest fail was possibly this GC's account of a firm: "A partner ignored an instruction from one of my colleagues not to contact me because my mother had recently died" and then "took it upon himself to send an email, failing to express condolences, and wondering if there was any way he or his firm could help managing my workload (for a fee, naturally)."
It wasn't all bad though. The move from private practice to an in-house team had its perks for one respondent: "I'm really enjoying the bit where my old team have to dance for me like performing monkeys, in the kindest possible way." The respondent added that an "asshole former colleague now wants to be mates because he thinks I have amnesia and will instruct him."
If you're in-house, spill the beans below.
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Comments
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I think private practice lawyers should do a review of in-house lawyers. Some highlights include:
- the in-house lawyer that ruined my holiday to prepare documentation “just in case” a specific issue arose which never did and then refused to pay.
- the in-house lawyers that demand immediate availability and then refuse to pay our bills
- the in-house lawyers that speak about diversity and inclusion but then complain about trainees from diverse backgrounds “not being professional”
- when I was a trainee, an in-house banking lawyer that spent an entire lunch fondling my supervising senior associate’s elbow much to her discomfort
- the in-house lawyer that refused to take advice on disclosures, called us “bad lawyers”, went somewhere else that did what she wanted and then when the regulator came calling, tried to blame us (that was the end of her).
There are good in-house lawyers. There are bad in-house lawyers. There are good private practice lawyers. There are bad ones too. This “set up” between in-house and private is quite dated now.
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I hear you on a lot of these points but hasten to add that being from a diverse background doesn't absolve me from being "professional" and I find the suggestion that it does a little patronising
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Ah, nothing like some classic ROF on a Friday.
There’d be more of these stories if everyone wasn’t wfh these days
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Pretty much everything that's wrong with law firms and legal services elegantly summarised:
""I'm really enjoying the bit where my old team have to dance for me like performing monkeys, in the kindest possible way." The respondent added that an "asshole former colleague now wants to be mates because he thinks I have amnesia and will instruct him.""
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Our idiot boss in our Birmingham office (national firm) "managed out" a senior associate who had had childcare and sickness time off. She joined our biggest client in-house and immediately dropped us from the panel. Nice one, Nick.
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Yes - I agree, that’s my point. It was patronising and rude because the in-house lawyer was commenting on a hair cut. Should have clarified.
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"The associates seemed quite reserved whilst the partner was with them but when the partner left they livened up,"
Can you imagine being the partner here? My heart genuinely goes out to them.
You win a client, you manage the relationship, you offer the client some appropriate hospitality which they will enjoy, you trust your juniors to speak to clients (it's vital to motivate and develop them), you don't overstay your welcome and you head home trusting people to have a good time. You go to bed thinking it's a job well done.
Then, in the morning, you walk into the office to find that Debbie has got absolutely wasted, vomited all over a relationship that took years to nurture to profitability, and that all that hard work you put in is up in smoke because some gormless junior got overexcited with free wine and did an Exorcist impression directly into the client's lap.
People talk about lawyer suicide from overwork, but forget all of that for a moment, it's moments like this that drive people to nihilistic murder sprees in which dozens of lives are lost.
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I don't see why anyone fair-minded would assume legal incompetence based on some out-of-office chundering.
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A good puke shows she was having a good time, the client should be happy they’re all getting along.
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Surely time to hear some stories of clients’ bad behaviour.
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We used a regional senior associate at a large national firm. Great lawyer, great person. The partners convinced themselves that the junior partner in London had the relationship and told the SA they didn’t have a business case for partnership.
SA left and the law firm stopped getting £500k+ a year of fees from us.
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papercuts 07 June 24 11:25
Vote up!
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Vote down!
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I don't see why anyone fair-minded would assume legal incompetence based on some out-of-office chundering.
in a competitive market with plenty of law firms who can service you adequately, you have the luxury of not picking those who throw up on the table and leave you to pick up the bill.
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You would never witness such unbecoming behavior from Addleshaw Goddard LLP a distinguished law firm of the highest echelon, reminiscent of an exclusive country club.
Indeed, such conduct is precisely what one would anticipate from the rabble at DWF.
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“The biggest fail was possibly this GC's account of a firm: "A partner ignored an instruction from one of my colleagues not to contact me because my mother had recently died" and then "took it upon himself to send an email, failing to express condolences, and wondering if there was any way he or his firm could help managing my workload (for a fee, naturally)."”
I’d heard of ambulance-chasing, but hearse-chasing?
Christ.
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It was a while ago, but the partner at WBD who 💩 himself in a car with clients after a boozy dinner takes some beating.
The fact that it was his clients who told the [name of city] legal community tells you something about what they thought of him.
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“I’d heard of ambulance-chasing, but hearse-chasing?”
Much easier to catch, tbf…
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Fighting with waiters and vomiting on the tables of fancy restos? What’s wrong with that? Playing Coldplay in public, tho’…
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Anon 07 June 24 13:03
If it is the case that I am thinking of, the junior partner did a complete character assassination on the associate and sought to take all the glory to support his equity case.
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Anyone who would actually sack a law firm just because an associate got pissed at a luncheon is a bit of a wally, eh. I suspect that bit of the story is made up tbh.
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Fondling her elbow? Is that a thing?
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And Coldplay?
That really is low.
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@Anonymous 07 June 24 10:33
Wow bet that just hit that partner profits on his billing, what a way to get back at someone brilliant, sack them then lose a massive fee paying client
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Once worked in-house for a well known insurer that was legenday for its meanness. The GC was a clown who would hold meetings in london at 9AM and refuse to pay for hotels the night before for those coming from the regions, yep their trains were late. Said insurer then tried to get the delay repay clawed back from staff for their travel budget.
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And yet, when we rabble are really going for it, we call it "Getting totally Addleshaw'd".
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Crust of Bread 09 June 24 19:58
Meeting in London requiring people to travel from down North - 9-10am start.
Meeting in Leeds requiring people to travel up from London - lunchtime start plus an early afternoon wrap-up.
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Tbf, tablepuking sounds a lot more fun than some whey-faced tede probably called Simon droning on earnestly about some FCA Policy Statement.
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Dear ShootyOriginal,
I must address your recent comments. Addleshaw Goddard LLP, would never stoop to the unbecoming behavior you suggest. Your insinuations are baseless and unworthy of such a distinguished firm.
Regards,