oh that is a shame. I was at a lunch on Saturday and there was a lovely girl there who is single and dead keen on single, but she is just shy of 6 foot and won't date anyone shorter than her.
Amazing how women get away with this sort of superficiality, if a bloke had posted requesting a rofettes vital statistics to ensure they meet a m7s minimum standards for dating there would be all hell to pay...
I am taller than most of the men I've dated. Not unusual if you're a tall woman. I think you dodge a bullet by not meeting their criteria if that's what matters.
the height thing is not the same as asking about boob size, ffs.
I mean, it’s not a million miles off. Both are totally arbitrary physical characteristics that some people seem to find extremely important in choosing a partner. And it is true that it’s socially acceptable to talk about one but not the other.
Both are totally arbitrary physical characteristics that some people seem to find extremely important in choosing a partner.
They're far from arbitrary. Height is a kind of subliminal shorthand for physical ability and success (CEOs apparently tend to be taller than average), and boobs - well, 'nuff said.
One is a heck of a lot easier to change, via the assistance of chaps in your profession, than the other though.
They’re arbitrary in the sense that they are given due to random chance and you’re not going to be able to change them without surgical intervention. Being good-looking is also associated with success but I think it would be considered socially unacceptable to openly discuss your “no uglies” rule.
Breast size in women and height in men are comparable. They are both physical attributes that tend to be significant factor in determining attractiveness to the opposite sex. I don't see how a woman ruling out a man on grounds of height is any different from a man ruling out a woman based on breast size.
I suppose it is possible that this woman feels self conscious about her own height so feels uncomfortable about herself when with somebody shorter which would I guess be a bit different - although still a bit fooked up.
To be honest I'm not really into tall er women so happy to pass.
All judgements on physical characteristics are annoying because most of them are genetically determined so can't easily be changed.
Fence a number of people have had their legs broken and then break slowly stretched apart as it heals so that they end up taller. Generally done by people trying to get into professions with minimum height requirements like being an air steward.
Hemingway once described one of his female characters as having lines like a racing yacht, or something similar. I much prefer motorboating (fnarr) but can appreciate that description, as I'm sure Sailo, being much more versed in the ways of rope and canvas, can.
Asking for a cup size isn't the same as asking someone's height. Lots of people choose to list their height on a dating profile. I don't think as many choose to list their bra size, although some women might but asking for cup size on a message would be more akin to asking a man's crotch size, which would also not be acceptable as asking would no doubt elicit the dreaded dick pics and no one wants those (why men believe anyone would want to receive one from a stranger will remain one of life's unanswerable questions).
Height, like general weight/ size, is seen by everyone, not just someone you choose to get intimate with. I was recently asked my bra size by a successful Dr, aged 48. He said it because he "was very fussy"..just like most women are fussy enough not to want a man who sends a message like that like some horny teenager. Needless to say I didn't oblige. Also, general size of bra, just like any other clothes, should be pretty obvious from any photos. I doubt most people are queezed into spanx/ wearing stilts in their photos just to fool the masses.
Asking for a cup size isn't the same as asking someone's height. Lots of people choose to list their height on a dating profile. I don't think as many choose to list their bra size
Yes, one is a socially acceptable basis to choose partners and one isn't, like I said. Not sure why they are very different apart from that though.
PP, I am sorry I don't see the distinction at all. Height is important to lots of women when looking for a partner but they never get called on in the way men do if they confess to female physical attributes being important to them. (this is not bitterness I am 6ft 2) If you rule out somebody because of physical attribute (or lack of) its exactly the same thing whether it is height, breast size or whatever.
I think the closest equivalent is asking how much they weigh. And even then I don't think that's as bad, as anyone can change their weight should they wish.
I wonder how often these people with strict 'requirements' or preferences end up either staying alone or letting go of them as they grow older. Let's face it, 90% of men is shorter than 6ft (if not a higher percentage) and 90% of boobs are "just not as pert as they used to be'. But a lot of these shortarses and flabby boobs still end up finding a partner. What gives?
Aka all this superficial stuff is just a load of bullsh*t.
Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size. Not on a date or when you're flirting with someone but asking a stranger. On your first message as part of your "wheedling out" criteria. FFS we are not 13!!
Also, women can lie about cup size just as much as all those men who say they are "5, 8" turn up and are my height. I'm 5,3 sans heels.
Thank you Buzz. Ther eis nothing appealing, attractive or gentlemanly than being asked what your bra size is. About as attractive as the guy who texted me recently to ask if there would be any sechsual activity on our next date. Er I'll pass thanks. It's just bizarre. Surely men know one surefire way not to get sechs is to assume you're getting it/ asking for it.
Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size‘
dont think anyone here is saying it’s normal are they? Just pointing out that being arbitrary about height is not massively dissimilar to being arbitrary about cup size (for example)
Sails lots of men also mention physical criteria in their profiles - "only like brunettes" is perhaps the most common one I see or "curvy women only".
It's relatively easy to change ones hair colour and even boob size. It's far more difficult to permanently change your height.
It's crass to express a preference for either boob size in a woman or height in a man. (Although as a group, men perpetuate heightism by listing their height in the first place. Stop pandering.)
Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?
‘Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?‘
probably, although voicing the former is much less socially acceptable than voicing the latter
Sizzlers it's completely different. As I said above it's more akin to asking crotch size. Judo and I will remain in the camp where it's pathetic of a grown adult man to ask a women he's never met what her bra size is. Zac G would never do this I'm sure.
Judo and I will remain in the camp where it's pathetic of a grown adult man to ask a women he's never met what her bra size is.
If a man were to do that, he should be dismissed regardless of height. Did someone actually say this was okay, or is this a straw man you've concocted?
PP - you keep missing the point - it is not about what is socially acceptable but the principle of the thing.
Height can be a huge thing for men just as certain physical issues are for women- asking somebody their height and then saying oh soz I know a great girl but you are too short for her is crass and potentially hurtful if men behave a similar way they get called for it. (Not worried about sails specifically mind he seems pretty robust)
Sizzler most apps require you fill in your height or choose extra options to get round doing that so it's more a case of path of lease resistance than an active choice.
I've certainly dismissed potential matches because it's been clear from photos that there are elements that I would not find attractive.
I am entirely happy being average height and would probably not be attracted to Judo's acquaintance because of her height. I'm still traumatised from a teenage incident where a girl who was much taller than me picked me up and carried me to a dance floor when I declined her request to dance with her.
everyone has preferences but going around saying things like "oh i cannot possibly ever date someone below 6'2" is just juvenile, and men who said similar things would rightly be described as shallow
Pretty much. I didn't really grow until well into my teens so age 13 I was still 4' 8" and so many of the girls in my class were up to a foot taller and they'd look at my little shoes and tell me how sweet they were.
I was very awkward as a tall girl in my teens, and I suspect if I was online dating now, some men would rule me out as too tall. That's ok because I am too tall really. Requiring 6'2 in a man though, which is way taller than average, is odd. I know why they're single, and it's not because there are no decent men.
I have never picked up and carried a man to the dancefloor, for the avoidance of doubt.
Guy the point has not been missed at all and the principle is well and truly seen. I havent said it's a Good Thing that men be dimissed on height but asking someone's height is not, as several peopel have pointed out, quite the same thing as asking someone's bra size and the "being called out" is different. Otherwise bra size would be a box to tick in the same way body shape/ height is. People dismiss people for all sorts physical reasons and that's human nature but you dont need to actually message to ask about any of these things. People can look at photos and make their own judgments.
Sizzlers - it';s in the posts above - aged 48 "successful professional Dr" in his own words messaged asking bra size so he didn't waste his time on anyone who didnt (literallly) fit his image of the perfect woman/ one he was worthy of. Got uppity when I didnt reply then said "ooh you must be an A then". Not a great loss.
Lovely although "slim" is a subjective concept isn't it? Would that include Classic Dad Bod? I hate hate hate all these stipulations. Whatever happened to - she's fit, in a bar, I'll go and chat her up. Bring it back!!
Setting criteria on a dating app (you have to narrow the field in some way) is really quite different from what happened above - "here is somebody I think you would really get on with but you are not tall enough so she will not consider it". Forget bra size if t muddies the water. Supposing Sails had posted "hey judy (or any other rofette) how much do you weigh?" and Judy had responded "75kg" (number purely arbitrary) and Sails had said "shame I have a mate who you would really get on with and shares your interests but he will not date women over 65kg". This would have been seen as completely unacceptable.
Guy I don't think it would be "unacceptable" - not very nice certainly but, again, weight, is a preference for some - see the comments on not fancying a bag of bones/ only liking brunettes (so hairist) par example. Sails, I cant think of any redhead lovelies but will have a think! I do have a hugely successful and attractive divorcee (dark blonde) who has absolutely no interest in marriage again or kids who might float your sailboat, however.
My physical ideal is a man who looks like he could have rickets, no muscle, and long emo hair. I am with a lovely man who has a beer belly, is the same height as me when I wear my five inch heels, and has been bald for years. I still find him gorgeous
0
1
5' 9". Why?
1
7
oh that is a shame. I was at a lunch on Saturday and there was a lovely girl there who is single and dead keen on single, but she is just shy of 6 foot and won't date anyone shorter than her.
1
1
"dead keen on sailing" I meant to type.
6
3
Surprised she’s keen on sailing. Tall burds are best-suited to motorboating
2
3
This is top level jayerz trolling. Really superb.
1
4
Amazing how women get away with this sort of superficiality, if a bloke had posted requesting a rofettes vital statistics to ensure they meet a m7s minimum standards for dating there would be all hell to pay...
1
2
Actually it would have been better if she was
a midget5ft 3 and still wouldn’t date anyone shorter than 6ft7
6
Heh @ PP
I'm afraid Sails would barely reach her poop-deck.
2
7
Although tall birds rarely have fenders big enough for motorboating
1
3
heh, yeah. "what's your cup size? oh that's a shame..."
1
4
Ahaha - there are definitely dating profiles where the 5’2 woman says she wants to only date someone over 6’0.
I don’t mind it - least you know where you stand (on a small ladder) early on.
0
8
It's also annoying when they like you and then you realise they haven't read your profile as you're clearly too short for them.
0
6
I am a mere 5' 3.5"
I am not fussed about height
Look at Bernie Ecclestone, he is only 5' 3"
0
2
I wouldn't be fussed about the hight and there is a good French film on this point as well so one never knows...
https://www.imdb.com/video/vi318814233/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk
0
5
I failed to add that the point is related to the short people
1
4
I am taller than most of the men I've dated. Not unusual if you're a tall woman. I think you dodge a bullet by not meeting their criteria if that's what matters.
0
3
the height thing is not the same as asking about boob size, ffs.
0
2
You look taller than you are
1
4
Are they real?
0
1
How much do you weigh? My mate Steve has compatible interests but a strict "no chubsters" policy.
1
4
TBF women are pretty much all the same height anyway when flat on their backs
3
5
I mean, it’s not a million miles off. Both are totally arbitrary physical characteristics that some people seem to find extremely important in choosing a partner. And it is true that it’s socially acceptable to talk about one but not the other.
0
4
But I want tall children
But I want a handful
2
8
Look everyone has particularly physical characteristics they like in partners
But it's how you voice them
Saying 'i won't date them because they have XYZ' is not nice but saying 'i won't date them because I am not interested in them' is much better
Be kind peeps
0
3
They're far from arbitrary. Height is a kind of subliminal shorthand for physical ability and success (CEOs apparently tend to be taller than average), and boobs - well, 'nuff said.
One is a heck of a lot easier to change, via the assistance of chaps in your profession, than the other though.
0
5
They’re arbitrary in the sense that they are given due to random chance and you’re not going to be able to change them without surgical intervention. Being good-looking is also associated with success but I think it would be considered socially unacceptable to openly discuss your “no uglies” rule.
0
4
This girl has never met Sailo - so it is no reflection on him at all!
I had only met her for the first time at this luncheon.
0
3
Elizabeth Taylor was stretched as a child to make her taller, is that what you mean?
0
2
Wasn’t there some creepy trend of people having their legs lengthened by some procedure that is probably too gruesome for me to look up
think it was a bit of an incel thing tbf, like the people who hit themselves in the face with hammers
1
3
Breast size in women and height in men are comparable. They are both physical attributes that tend to be significant factor in determining attractiveness to the opposite sex. I don't see how a woman ruling out a man on grounds of height is any different from a man ruling out a woman based on breast size.
I suppose it is possible that this woman feels self conscious about her own height so feels uncomfortable about herself when with somebody shorter which would I guess be a bit different - although still a bit fooked up.
0
4
Mention that Sailo did the Whitbread, or whatever it was - might change her opinion quick smart.
Mark Cavendish - not saying Sailo is quite that level in his chosen sport, FAOD - doesn't make six feet either, nor did plenty of others.
7
3
Judo what first made you attracted to the billionaire midget, bernie
0
0
hehe v good, Wang.
0
1
This lunch was also a bit awkard because my friend (not the tall girl) had made risotto which I absolutely cannot bear, although I did my best.
0
2
describe tall girl’s norks
0
4
To be honest I'm not really into tall er women so happy to pass.
All judgements on physical characteristics are annoying because most of them are genetically determined so can't easily be changed.
Fence a number of people have had their legs broken and then break slowly stretched apart as it heals so that they end up taller. Generally done by people trying to get into professions with minimum height requirements like being an air steward.
0
4
She was wearing a cardi, but I would say that she was quite statuesque rather than willowy.
She is also norn irish.
2
1
Hemingway once described one of his female characters as having lines like a racing yacht, or something similar. I much prefer motorboating (fnarr) but can appreciate that description, as I'm sure Sailo, being much more versed in the ways of rope and canvas, can.
"she goes like a Viper 640 in a Force 5..."
0
5
Asking for a cup size isn't the same as asking someone's height. Lots of people choose to list their height on a dating profile. I don't think as many choose to list their bra size, although some women might but asking for cup size on a message would be more akin to asking a man's crotch size, which would also not be acceptable as asking would no doubt elicit the dreaded dick pics and no one wants those (why men believe anyone would want to receive one from a stranger will remain one of life's unanswerable questions).
Height, like general weight/ size, is seen by everyone, not just someone you choose to get intimate with. I was recently asked my bra size by a successful Dr, aged 48. He said it because he "was very fussy"..just like most women are fussy enough not to want a man who sends a message like that like some horny teenager. Needless to say I didn't oblige. Also, general size of bra, just like any other clothes, should be pretty obvious from any photos. I doubt most people are queezed into spanx/ wearing stilts in their photos just to fool the masses.
0
6
I’ve definitely been asked for the dimensions of little Sailo before and seen self-proclaimed size queens on dating apps.
0
4
Yes, one is a socially acceptable basis to choose partners and one isn't, like I said. Not sure why they are very different apart from that though.
0
7
Sounds like a shallow woman. Not sure she's good enough for our Sails.
0
3
PP, I am sorry I don't see the distinction at all. Height is important to lots of women when looking for a partner but they never get called on in the way men do if they confess to female physical attributes being important to them. (this is not bitterness I am 6ft 2) If you rule out somebody because of physical attribute (or lack of) its exactly the same thing whether it is height, breast size or whatever.
0
6
it’s pretty much the same as requesting cup size. I can’t see distinction.
0
3
Agree
0
4
cup size alone is a very poor measure - cup size plus pertness index is key. uma thurmann in dangerous liaisons being the gold standard
3
5
Here is a classic example from my browsing this morning:
"I like tall guys (6' 2) and up. I'm a height supremacist, sorry to all the short kings out there"
Should I announce I'm a nork supremacist?
0
4
Anyone who puts that in an ad is advertising themselves and not in a good way.
0
3
Another one PV is "bet she stands up well to her canvas" also "a bit beamy" ie fat arse.
0
6
I think the closest equivalent is asking how much they weigh. And even then I don't think that's as bad, as anyone can change their weight should they wish.
1
4
I wonder how often these people with strict 'requirements' or preferences end up either staying alone or letting go of them as they grow older. Let's face it, 90% of men is shorter than 6ft (if not a higher percentage) and 90% of boobs are "just not as pert as they used to be'. But a lot of these shortarses and flabby boobs still end up finding a partner. What gives?
Aka all this superficial stuff is just a load of bullsh*t.
1
4
Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size. Not on a date or when you're flirting with someone but asking a stranger. On your first message as part of your "wheedling out" criteria. FFS we are not 13!!
Also, women can lie about cup size just as much as all those men who say they are "5, 8" turn up and are my height. I'm 5,3 sans heels.
The dating world is absolutely screwed.
0
3
Sails lots of men also mention physical criteria in their profiles - "only like brunettes" is perhaps the most common one I see or "curvy women only".
1
4
You might as well sing Kevin Bloody Wilson's "Do You fook on First Dates?" if your opening gambit is to ask how big are her norks
0
5
Thank you Buzz. Ther eis nothing appealing, attractive or gentlemanly than being asked what your bra size is. About as attractive as the guy who texted me recently to ask if there would be any sechsual activity on our next date. Er I'll pass thanks. It's just bizarre. Surely men know one surefire way not to get sechs is to assume you're getting it/ asking for it.
0
4
Pp describe norks
0
3
you describe morks
0
7
height and bra size are not in any way similar, you perves.
0
2
What Penelope Pitstop said.
2
5
Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size‘
dont think anyone here is saying it’s normal are they? Just pointing out that being arbitrary about height is not massively dissimilar to being arbitrary about cup size (for example)
3
4
It's relatively easy to change ones hair colour and even boob size. It's far more difficult to permanently change your height.
It's crass to express a preference for either boob size in a woman or height in a man. (Although as a group, men perpetuate heightism by listing their height in the first place. Stop pandering.)
Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?
0
7
‘Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?‘
probably, although voicing the former is much less socially acceptable than voicing the latter
0
2
Oh that's interesting. Hmmm.
1
3
Sizzlers it's completely different. As I said above it's more akin to asking crotch size. Judo and I will remain in the camp where it's pathetic of a grown adult man to ask a women he's never met what her bra size is. Zac G would never do this I'm sure.
1
4
Also women get dismissed for being too short/ too tall just like men do.
2
4
If a man were to do that, he should be dismissed regardless of height. Did someone actually say this was okay, or is this a straw man you've concocted?
1
6
PP - you keep missing the point - it is not about what is socially acceptable but the principle of the thing.
Height can be a huge thing for men just as certain physical issues are for women- asking somebody their height and then saying oh soz I know a great girl but you are too short for her is crass and potentially hurtful if men behave a similar way they get called for it. (Not worried about sails specifically mind he seems pretty robust)
1
4
really surprised that you've managed to draw this from any of the posts here
0
2
it's not normal which is the whole point
0
6
Sizzler most apps require you fill in your height or choose extra options to get round doing that so it's more a case of path of lease resistance than an active choice.
I've certainly dismissed potential matches because it's been clear from photos that there are elements that I would not find attractive.
2
2
I am entirely happy being average height and would probably not be attracted to Judo's acquaintance because of her height. I'm still traumatised from a teenage incident where a girl who was much taller than me picked me up and carried me to a dance floor when I declined her request to dance with her.
2
4
everyone has preferences but going around saying things like "oh i cannot possibly ever date someone below 6'2" is just juvenile, and men who said similar things would rightly be described as shallow
0
3
hah that made me laugh, Sailo! I picture your teenage date like a female Freddie Flintstone, hubba hubba
1
3
Pretty much. I didn't really grow until well into my teens so age 13 I was still 4' 8" and so many of the girls in my class were up to a foot taller and they'd look at my little shoes and tell me how sweet they were.
1
5
I was very awkward as a tall girl in my teens, and I suspect if I was online dating now, some men would rule me out as too tall. That's ok because I am too tall really. Requiring 6'2 in a man though, which is way taller than average, is odd. I know why they're single, and it's not because there are no decent men.
I have never picked up and carried a man to the dancefloor, for the avoidance of doubt.
1
3
Guy the point has not been missed at all and the principle is well and truly seen. I havent said it's a Good Thing that men be dimissed on height but asking someone's height is not, as several peopel have pointed out, quite the same thing as asking someone's bra size and the "being called out" is different. Otherwise bra size would be a box to tick in the same way body shape/ height is. People dismiss people for all sorts physical reasons and that's human nature but you dont need to actually message to ask about any of these things. People can look at photos and make their own judgments.
Sizzlers - it';s in the posts above - aged 48 "successful professional Dr" in his own words messaged asking bra size so he didn't waste his time on anyone who didnt (literallly) fit his image of the perfect woman/ one he was worthy of. Got uppity when I didnt reply then said "ooh you must be an A then". Not a great loss.
0
5
Sails that story is quite funny although Post Me Too we will no doubt be told off for laughing at it due to double standards (pls note Guy ;) )
0
3
Or what SnowFox and Chimp said. I don't think I know any women who've said this about a minimum height, even the really tall ones.
1
2
My dad caught it on home video too so it has been replayed many times over the years.
I've seen plenty on dating apps either specifying tall men or a specific height or just providing their own height and requiring taller than that.
1
6
Ditto plenty of men say "curvy only" or "no blondes/red heads" or "only brunettes" or "only size 12 plus"
1
4
really, plenty of men say "only size 12 plus"
find that hard to believe tbh
0
3
Register as a woman, go swiping and see - it's free fun for all ;)
0
3
That's fine as it leaves the red heads for me!
0
3
I like ginger too!
0
3
Another gem today. Listed under non-negotiable aspects of dating:
Physical attraction - slim is in!
0
2
Lovely although "slim" is a subjective concept isn't it? Would that include Classic Dad Bod? I hate hate hate all these stipulations. Whatever happened to - she's fit, in a bar, I'll go and chat her up. Bring it back!!
0
1
I prefer a dad bod to a gym honed physique.
0
1
Setting criteria on a dating app (you have to narrow the field in some way) is really quite different from what happened above - "here is somebody I think you would really get on with but you are not tall enough so she will not consider it". Forget bra size if t muddies the water. Supposing Sails had posted "hey judy (or any other rofette) how much do you weigh?" and Judy had responded "75kg" (number purely arbitrary) and Sails had said "shame I have a mate who you would really get on with and shares your interests but he will not date women over 65kg". This would have been seen as completely unacceptable.
2
2
Someone should use the criteria "Not too skinny, don't want to risk chipping my pelvis while feeling like I'm shagging a bag of chisels"
0
5
Pp am a squishy a cup haha
1
2
sorry to be pedantic on a lawyers board but it would be more akin to asking for details re depth of fannoir
0
2
Uber hehs at hotnow and Buzz
0
4
Guy I don't think it would be "unacceptable" - not very nice certainly but, again, weight, is a preference for some - see the comments on not fancying a bag of bones/ only liking brunettes (so hairist) par example. Sails, I cant think of any redhead lovelies but will have a think! I do have a hugely successful and attractive divorcee (dark blonde) who has absolutely no interest in marriage again or kids who might float your sailboat, however.
0
7
Sounds promising. Sadly I don't think Kelly Reilly is going to pop up on Bumble especially now she's big in the US thanks to her role on Yellowstone.
3
3
At 5ft 7, if hadn’t let any of the local Welsh lads shorter than me have a go, I never would have got any.
1
3
My physical ideal is a man who looks like he could have rickets, no muscle, and long emo hair. I am with a lovely man who has a beer belly, is the same height as me when I wear my five inch heels, and has been bald for years. I still find him gorgeous
0
3
Bet he doesn’t like parsnips though.
2
3
He is also a vegetarian, so I get to hand over all my parsnips and mushrooms to him
#DreamBoat
1
2
And your pink lettuce is presumably a given?
3
5
Nice tun, Judo
Join the discussion