Where dreams come true.
It's tough to stand out in law, but a firm of conveyancers in North Notts has managed it through the simple expedient of replacing themselves with celebrities.
Fidler & Pepper Lawyers are "a friendly bunch", according to their website, but there is a caveat: "If you want to look at the Directors' profiles then follow this link but we warn you - it's not a pretty sight!"
"In the name of common decency we have withheld photographs from the site for as long as possible, feeling that this could simply be too disturbing for some visitors", explains Fidler & Pepper.
"Unfortunately, we could prevent this no more, and photographs have now crept into this site. Those of a nervous disposition should immediately return to our home page. Stronger characters may feel brave enough to look below, but we accept no liability for prolonged viewing of the following shocking images".
Au contraire: thanks to a wise decision to spare the general public's sanity, the firm has opted for snaps of Lulu, Andrew Lincoln, Tom Cruise, George Clooney and Holly Willoughby instead.
The profiles live up to their illustrations. According to her entry, Jo Godson AKA Lulu "grew up dreaming of being a police officer but sadly was not able to pursue this as she was a good 8 inches short of the minimum height requirement at the time".
Egg, otherwise known as Richard Howard, "qualified as a solicitor in 2010 on April Fool's Day (I'm saying nothing)", and his profile records: "First official grey hair - 2nd April 2010".
Matt Slade, explains the profile's author, "supports Nottingham Forest FC to a fanatical degree and has played cricket at County level (he forced me to add this bit)". He also "enjoys running and entering 10k races and beating his friends and gloating (ah bless)".
Matt is the younger brother of Managing Partner Mark Slade, which may explain why he was saddled with a tarnished scientologist as his alter ego, whereas Mark got Clooney.
Known as the "Office Mum", Wendy Walker "keeps the staff amused with her slightly out of tune singing voice and a smile on her face". According to her profile, the director has "a naughty Puppy" called Peanut who "keeps Wendy occupied and her cupboards stocked up with cleaning products". Understandably given all that, Wendy enjoys "a glass of gin or two and the occasional spa day".
Top marks to Fidler & Pepper for illustrating how Bonkers Law Firm Websites are so often the Best Law Firm Websites as well.
Can you get top marks? Use a washable marker pen to pair up the right director with their celebrity stand-in on your screen: