He's finished his cereal, now it's time to GSD, baby! (Sticks out tongue, makes devil horns, begins checking defined terms).
The manliest men man the desks at De Boer Egberts, as documented exhaustively by the Dutch firm's Bonkers Law Firm Website.
DBE’s six lawyers differentiate themselves from their rivals by keeping the legal stuff to a minimum, and devoting their site to an album of 42 - yes, 42 - ravishing monochrome images of the boys at work.
The site leads with a portrait of the lads queuing up to be in Top Gear's studio audience.
Brand on the run.
Their profiles are even moodier.
A few perfunctory paragraphs set out the firm's practice areas, then the lawyers get back to what's really important: the expansive photo shoot. RollOnFriday injected itself with testosterone and took a look through the highlights.
The fellas relax after breaking out of a shipping container.
Winners hang their jabot on a punching dummy.
Other firms don’t feature Saul Goodman, for some reason.
Call security, we've got a dad lad photocopying.
Trying not to think about that shipping container.
He's dropped his favourite Ferrari-branded poppit.
They can't resist its pull.
Alexa, define nervous excitement.
"He only ever uses me to play the opening chords of Mr Brightside - please, kill me."
Each meeting room comes with a work-out station from which the alpha lawyer can direct operations.
You're right, Dutch Sting, justice IS blind.
Full wall dedicated to a Suits mural. Full wall.
Reinforce dominance by communicating with junior lawyers via loudhailer.
A lone woman picks her way through the drum kits, pull-up bars and slam balls.
Oscar reminds Jack what they did to survive in the shipping container.
Booze 'O Clock is not representative of the firm's actual preference for Heineken 0.0.
The exact moment the photographer got cracked in the head with a signed football.
White collar today, Black Sabbath till he dies!
Anyone caught discussing 'feelings' gets the helium.
Some days he wonders if a van Ruisdael print would have been nicer.
Well done De Boer Egberts for single-handedly buying up Harley Davidson's run of coffee table books. If your firm's website is awash with machotivational art, or is otherwise unique, get shit done and write in.