04 October 2018

A legal professional services company has been inducted into the bonkers hall of fame. Staff had to bring in pets, offspring and their PE kits to get it over the line.

'Proximity' is an Australian business too flashy to describe what it does. Instead it offers a dictionary definition of 'proximity'.

prox
Hmm, wow, yeah man. Proximity.

 

A whimsical acoustic guitar soundtracks Proximity's introductory film. The company’s directors explain how lawyers at old-school firms just come in, see the client and do the work. Whereas at Proximity they've worked out "how to do things differently" (by standing really close to people) and now exist "at the pointy end". Apparently they've got "more similarities to a technology start-up company than a traditional law firm", so watch out for massive over-valuations and, in five years time, the release of a £2k blender that doesn't quite work.

In what must have required arm-twisting, even clients appear on camera to profess that Proximity is different because it’s lawyers "actually sat down with our staff and said, 'How do you work, why do you do this, why do you do that?'" Which must have been painful for everyone. As viewers picture Proximity’s lawyers pretending to be management consultants, piano chords kick in to bring matters to an emotional climax. The directors explain how Proximity's priorities are looking after its staff as well as its clients, and then appear as MAMILs.

 

prox dirs
Come closer. Closer. Clo-ser.

 

Proximity clearly does care about its staff, however, to the point of highlighting their human sides in their profiles. One poor woman brought in her son, but others had more going on. Take a look by rolling over the pictures.

Note: Catherine's never juggled before.

 

Ashleigh could kill a man.

 

Ben couldn't.

 

Colin puts the perv rumours to rest.

 

David's a baller, a playa, a real rad dude.

 

Edwina's husband makes his move.

 

James 'Tooter' Suter, ladies and gentlemen.

 

A tragic insight into Jeremy's life.

 

Damon don't need no paddle.

 

John believes that to truly ride a bike, you must first teach it to walk.

 

Sun's out Dunn's out.

 

Jonathan's a gentle belt.

 

After the 30th take Liana regretted her theme.

 

Melissa didn't.

 

Bernard had to take a day off work for this.

 

Proximity's CEO subtly makes the point that she can press any board member, bro.

 

Must try harder, Mike.

 

Pete knows what you did last summer.

 

Simin gets meta.

 

Stephen gets scary.

 

Sean reckons he looks pretty cool.

 

Tyler knows he does.

 

Good work Proximity, but please step back. If you've spied a firm trying to convince people its lawyers are human, write in.

Tip Off ROF

Comments

Anon 09 Oct 18

Not entirely on topic but also about a bonkers website. Is the Discussion Board ever going to come back?

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