Earlier this month Ian Mann, the new Managing Partner of offshore law firm Harneys, gave an interview to Asian Legal Business. "If you can work out what he is saying please let us know", said an underling on behalf of baffled staff, because it’s “absolute bollocks”.
Happy to help!
"We've told everyone they're a leader. It makes no sense but that's the point. The way to dominate someone is to break their sense of reality, mine included."
"I'm doing it to you right now."
"The non-lawyers at the top, the so-called Operational C-Suite, have completely taken over. They view solicitors with contempt and believe we should be driven from the cities to work in the fields."
"Every day we have to applaud the head of BD while the person who stopped applauding first the day before is hanged."
"I just chunter garbage now. Why are you nodding?"
Nonsense this nonsensical comes from a place of pain.
"Chinese rule has been our inspiration and we kiss that country's ass every day."
"We sent branded mousemats to a load of dodgy factories."
"One of them read the mousemat, hacked our website and said they wouldn't give it back unless we bought 70,000 knock-off Earpods."
"Do you need any Earpods?"
"Taking inspiration from Xi Jinping, Putin and Seamus Milne, our new leaders on the Operational C-Suite brook no dissent and strike without warning or explanation. There is no mercy."
"They make me tie dissenters to the re-education chair."
"We cannot speak our minds in public. The enemy is always listening."
"No-one trusts anyone."
"We chant maxims in praise of guff 19 hours a day. It's madness. There's no time to sleep, let alone work. I know I started all this, but it's out of control."
Good luck Ian!