Oh ffs, keyboard. 

It was going to be a prolif that basically said Smack The Pony (a eupehmism), which I didn't previously know was one...

But I fooked it up, so there.

Do you not mean feed the pony?

Nope, smack. Like the TV show. That's what it's title was about. Apparently, anyway.

Amanda Holden was originally the Sarah Alexander  spare in STP. 

You mean the place they reserved for the very hot but not particularly funny one?

Isn't it spank the money and feed the pony? Also bash the bishop. 

So then Sarah, you’re not very funny are y-

Oh, excuse me.

Can you spank a sea monkey?

You could try. Unlikely to get nicked, let's face it.

what a show it was

I was a big fan. Came out at the start of my first year of uni. We used to watch it in halls with the girls from our floor. Happy days.

On a related note, how’s tv lawtriv facts about Coupling this evening? 

Watched it once.

Probably the shittest thing I've ever seen.

Frankly, that’s your problem.