A scam artist emailed RollOnFriday to inform us that we'd won a BMW. After celebrating with wine and biscuits, I forwarded the email to an account belonging to a fictitious character I'd created with no forethought called 'Uncle Badtouch'. I know, but I did say no forethought.

Here's what happened next, and if you like it remember to check out the insane correspondence with Sadiq Ahmed, the ballad of Gordon Fathands and the stab-proof vest debacle.

Advance clown warning: don't worry, on a scale of scary clowns it comes very low, somewhere between Krusty and Ronald.