RollOnFriday gets a ton of junk email, most of which is boring. But sifting through it I found there were people out there who were desperate to give us a fortune.

There was Mrs Bessel Harris, who addressed us as "Prominent User of the Internet", wrote in bold purple and informed us that we'd won $1 million "due to your effort, using internet daily".

Mrs Ana Whalen asked us not to feel sorry for her even though she had been diagnosed with "oesphageal" cancer. Her health had deteriorated so badly she wanted RollOnFriday to distribute $25 million to charities for her. She didn't want us to share her email address though, because she'd "received some emails from some unscrupulous people claiming to be charity organizations and other weird stories".

Kirk Murdoch was "an attorney based in Scotland United Kingdom" who was desperate to share his client's vast legacy after the rightful beneficiaries sadly died in an explosion. Smely Oleg had a lucrative real estate opportunity, Ming Yang needed assistance with "a large amount of money", so did the FBI, while a lady called Kim who said she was "very calm and emotional" just wanted love.

I replied to all of them, and no-one got back to me. Until camera-shy Sadiq, who began with an irresistible opening gambit: "ARE YOU HONEST?"

Update: Read part two, the return of Sadiq.



Anonymous 19 November 14 14:37

Just wonderful. Has there been any update since last Friday? Have you thought about how to invest the money yet?

Anonymous 21 November 14 10:42

I actually hadn't, though I had heard of people getting scammers to send them photos of themselves (something I singularly failed to manage). The people who run 419eater got in touch after seeing this and suggested I should not send these guys driving licences (even mock-ups). I've now visited their site and some of the stuff their 'baiters' manage is outrageous.

Anonymous 21 November 14 11:59

Isn't it illegal to mock up a driving licence? I fear your wooden pegs may attract unwanted amorous attention, were you to be incarcerated.