In a sequel more freighted with expectations that Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the Texas Law Hawk has released a follow-up to his blockbuster Youtube advert in which he did all kinds of great stuff like fail to snap a branch.

What's the verdict? It's not hyperbolic to say it's the best thing you'll see today featuring a hawk.


The ad opens with a melancholy, almost mythic air as The Star-Spangled Banner is picked out on an electric piano in a mournful minor key. Attorney Bryan Wilson, aka the Texas Law Hawk, runs in slow motion towards the camera. He is holding the American flag. We can see, faintly, a hawk and another, gently rippling flag superimposed over the noble patriot. It is a moving tablaeu, reminiscent of that bit in The Postman when the little girl's letter is collected by Kevin Costner on horseback. It has the same chest-swelling, tear-jerking power.

Then, BLAMMO! Texas Law Hawk shrieks "Texas Law Hawk", a hawk screams and the screen explodes into flame.


Suddenly we're in the woods and Wilson is making the Claw:


There's no time for slomo now at the Texas Law Hawk snarls, "Hunger for justice", and plucks a fish from a stream with his bare hands.


Then a quick, eery interlude as the Texas Law Hawk runs through the forest with his flag, just growling.


Things take a turn for the more surreal as we cut to a mean cop carrying a small dog...


...spying on a group of gentlemen deliriously playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.


The Texas Law Hawk is playing with the formula in fresh ways here, stretching his creative muscles. It's glorious to see, especially on such a small budget.

The officer suspects these weirdos are high on a new kind of drugs, correctly in my view, and orders the hysterical gamers to let him in without a warrant. Luckily one of them has the Texas Law Hawk on speed dial, who immediately smashes through their living room door shouting, "Someone just called me!"


Before they can explain he launches himself through the front door too, sending the fascist policeman sprawling. Smash cut to a smash zoom and it suddenly becomes clear that the Texas Law Hawk knows exactly what he's doing with this cheesy extravaganza, because he tries to growl "Texas Law Hawk" and breaks into laughter.


Briefly, the Texas Law Hawk allowed us to see his soft side. Then he leaps out of a moving 4x4 and the hawk screeches and there's an explosion.

Thanks to, well, the Texas Law Hawk for bringing his latest work to our attention. "Hey Roll on Friday Editors!" he wrote, "Bryan Wilson, the Texas Law Hawk here! I noticed y'all wrote an article about my first commercial. I just wanted to send you a link to the second one we just released. Hope you enjoy!"

Normally people have to pay to advertise on RollOnFriday, Texas Law Hawk, but dammit, you're law's answer to Steven Seagal. And as someone who coughed up good money to see Seagal's band (he cancelled), there's no way I'm going to refuse.