Gosh I dislike Chelsea. What's to like - the preening expressionless players? The plasticine-faced chairman? The thuggish fans that don't know they're born.
Nope, I just don't like them. The money, the glory, the success. Jealous? Almost certainly.
And they've just had the most successful season in their history, winning the league, FA Cup and the other cup that no-one cares about anymore. Grudging respect is due - because at least their football has got a bit more exciting nowadays.
And here's the DVD of the whole season. Every goal, every red card, in long, boring details. Not of any interest to anyone except weird collectors of end of season DVDs (if such people exist) and hardcore Chelski fans. I watched it with The Ivory Coast v Portugal match on in the background - it was Drogba (utterly brilliant, utterly detestable) in stereo.
Heh
To action. There wasn't much going on at Stamford Bridge last season. Another manager - Carlo Ancelotti - joined the whirlygig of appointments - each lasting to the precise point when Mr Abramovich decides he's had enough. He only brought one chum with him; the worst Premier League entourage in history.
But he did pretty damn well, as the DVD sets out. Although whether it's necessary to be shown highlights of the pre-season tour to the US, the 'World Football Challenge Trophy' (huh?) or even the Community Shield. Lots of goals - in fact all of them, completion fans. There's lovely partisan commentary, with a co-commentator who's vocal ability extends to "yes", "no", "uhhh".
The most interesting bit - and the bit I was particularly looking forward to? The Terry-Bridge handshake (or lack thereof). And the buggers didn't include it, preferring instead another post-match interview with A.N.Player (Lamps, Joe Cole, Old Man Terry) riddled with cliches.
For non-Chelsea fans - and that's most people fans of football - and remembering that there's no overall narrative here, it's a real treat when Chelsea get knocked out of the Champions League (the rest, I am sad to admit, is pretty relentless excellence). Because no matter how many League Cups and FA Youth Cups you win, there's only one prize your chairman wants, and he'll walk over hot coals to get it.
And by "walking over hot coals", I mean "sacking the manager whenever he feels like it".
The Double is available now, price £19.99.
Nope, I just don't like them. The money, the glory, the success. Jealous? Almost certainly.
And they've just had the most successful season in their history, winning the league, FA Cup and the other cup that no-one cares about anymore. Grudging respect is due - because at least their football has got a bit more exciting nowadays.
And here's the DVD of the whole season. Every goal, every red card, in long, boring details. Not of any interest to anyone except weird collectors of end of season DVDs (if such people exist) and hardcore Chelski fans. I watched it with The Ivory Coast v Portugal match on in the background - it was Drogba (utterly brilliant, utterly detestable) in stereo.
HehTo action. There wasn't much going on at Stamford Bridge last season. Another manager - Carlo Ancelotti - joined the whirlygig of appointments - each lasting to the precise point when Mr Abramovich decides he's had enough. He only brought one chum with him; the worst Premier League entourage in history.
But he did pretty damn well, as the DVD sets out. Although whether it's necessary to be shown highlights of the pre-season tour to the US, the 'World Football Challenge Trophy' (huh?) or even the Community Shield. Lots of goals - in fact all of them, completion fans. There's lovely partisan commentary, with a co-commentator who's vocal ability extends to "yes", "no", "uhhh".
The most interesting bit - and the bit I was particularly looking forward to? The Terry-Bridge handshake (or lack thereof). And the buggers didn't include it, preferring instead another post-match interview with A.N.Player (Lamps, Joe Cole, Old Man Terry) riddled with cliches.
For non-Chelsea fans - and that's most people fans of football - and remembering that there's no overall narrative here, it's a real treat when Chelsea get knocked out of the Champions League (the rest, I am sad to admit, is pretty relentless excellence). Because no matter how many League Cups and FA Youth Cups you win, there's only one prize your chairman wants, and he'll walk over hot coals to get it.
And by "walking over hot coals", I mean "sacking the manager whenever he feels like it".
The Double is available now, price £19.99.
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