Working for a horrible man where you'd do nothing for days then at 4pm on a Friday he'd announce he had an urgent job that required you to stay into the night. At the point where I realised I had no life any more as I could never make any plans I quit and immediately felt better knowing that I only had to deal with it for another month.
The summer when I lost the argument about how the firm should grow in the future, and was shafted by a couple folks who I thought were mates.
Lots of stress and unpleasant meetings, but managed through with support of Mrs Hall, other loyal Partners and a couple of other lawyer mates, who I then set up a new firm with.
Stay off the drink, and DEFINITELY a trouble shared is a trouble halved.
$2 billion dollar urgent freezing junction. Trying to get it lifted, while thousands of employees couldn’t be paid at the client. Russian clients/business, high profile politically. Was only about 3 PQE but doing the senior associate’s role and drafting everything and talking to counsel and managing a couple junior associates. Partner helped but he had other matters on. 3am every night, insane stress and pressure to get it done, famous silks on both sides. On top of that had family visiting from the USA at the same time and staying with me, to talk about urgent family business and could (literally) only speak to them at 3am when I got back. Learnt a lot and it was great experience but it was insane
Same as everyone there have been a lot of volume/urgency pressures, but the most stress was working for a grade A khunt who would ignore me/give me impossible tasks/give me "urgent" stuff to do at 4.30pm and not use it for days afterwards/lie about me in appraisals, etc etc. He was supported and enabled by a khunt of an HR director as well as other partners who wanted an easy life. This was 2008 - 2014 so hard to find another job. Left eventually and took a massive pay cut just to get out. Was awful and sustained. Thought about suing for constructive dismissal but didn't have the energy for it. Never again.
Similar to Sails, but with added nicieties like "This client is very fussy so you better get it right first time. I don't have time to look at it or give you any further information but if you get it wrong or the client picks up something that is missing I will sack you myself. Don't ask the client for instructions - we can't interrupt them at the weekend. Speak on Monday"
I think Kimmy might have worked for the same person at a similar time from the sound of it. Sucker my chap was a control freak and wouldn't let me send stuff at 6PQE without him approving it so I'd some time spend five hours waiting in the evening for a gap in his conference calls so he could make a couple of minor changes.
I think Kimmy might have worked for the same person at a similar time from the sound of it. Sucker my chap was a control freak and wouldn't let me send stuff at 6PQE without him approving it so I'd some time spend five hours waiting in the evening for a gap in his conference calls so he could make a couple of minor changes.
Custody. Many days where there were 6 or 7 in the holding cell, same number awaiting disposal, one or two looking to fight and a medical emergency as well.
First year or so in house when I was largely doing it all myself (there are now three senior litigators on the team). The days were nowhere as long as private practice, but the rapid-fire pressure of dealing with dozens of different issues every day was intense. It would build up over the week and by Thursday & Friday I'd leave work physically shaking and almost in a trance. Never had anything like it in PP, even when working ridiculous hours - the need to make actual decisions on things, rather than just advising or getting physical tasks done, made all the difference.
Dealt with it in the old fashioned way, loads of drink, but having evenings & Saturdays to de-stress made a big difference too
Worst days are all related to a fvck up, none were mine personally, but mine to sort out. I'm quite chill though, worst case- sack me, I'll do something else. Nobody dies in what I do, so use some perspective, and some alcohol.
Maybe a shout for those next day in the office after having accidentally/ drunkenly shägged a colleague, those could be pretty stressful I recall. It is now some years since that was last an issue faod, I make better choices these days.
Bullying/undermining situation that just got worse and worse.
I ended up leaving a job I had loved and excelled at. Big pay drop.*
But it was worth it.
I was so unhappy and stressed (heart racing at night, constantly had clenched fists etc. eczema etc.) I stopped caring about the money v early on, I just had to figure out a way to leave to do something viable, it took months.
* having stopped caring about the ££ I quickly took the view that “something would turn up money- wise” - and it did. I have since taken the same view any time approaching being broke and it is remarkable how it always does. Or maybe you just realise it doesnt matter. Either way, do NOT feel trapped by money, ever, you are skilled and intelligent, there is always some work you can do.
Bipolar management. From lavish praise to spittle flecked anger over the course of an hour sometimes less. No feedback on work despite being 18 mths pqe and no distinguishing between my experience level and that of a 10 year pqe. I was meant to pick up on their mistakes. It was textbook toxicity and frankly i didnt like the money enough to put up with it.
Honestly can’t remember, but whatever it was, it won’t have been that bad in actual stress terms. Law is tiresome and excessively time consuming and often irritating; it makes me feel sad to spend so much time of my life doing something so pointless. But it’s not actually that stressful is it in the grand scheme of things; it’s just giving people advice. What’s the worst that could happen?
Working with a nightmare partner, Bumped meetings or ignored them. Wouldn't respond to emails. Wouldn't read memos. The matter was something thepartner needed to sign due to its nature. Gave me instructions then asked me why I was doing it that way when I was doing what I'd been told to do by the partner.
I started having night terrors. Laid awake at night tearful and heart racing. I left for a massive payrise but it took years to get over.
A friend worked for the team a while ago. The partner hasn't changed one bit and she left within a year because she wasn't being allocated work. Just odd.
First few years of trying to be a great dad/husband and great PP lawyer. Wasn't for me so I gave up and moved in house.
Leaving work in time to see the kids, dinner, shower then back to work at 7/8pm for at least 3 hours only to go to bed and then be woken up by a baby several times only for, just as the light was beginning to appear at the end of the tunnel, another baby to come along and the whole process to start again.
Looking back I was neither happy nor healthy. Obviously performance went to shite as well because I was constantly tired.
The giving advice is fine. Most of these stories above are about incidental adversarial dealings with so-called colleagues whilst trying to get on with giving advice.
Having an intimidating senior use his authority and influence to control my work so I only worked with him. Raising concerns with others but told to roll with it as he was top dog. Once I had given him clear signals I was not interested in his advances, he made my life unbearable. This was against the backdrop of crazy deals so long and stressful months in the office.
This was over 15 years ago when the “me too” movement didn’t exist and I was a junior. I felt trapped and eventually felt I had to leave which made me feel empty given I had worked so hard to get where I was in that firm. Insane to think these things happened back then. It’s bad enough working in a highly pressurised job, nevermind with a pervert.
Going to a completion meeting on a ferry and realising when I got to the other end that I didn’t have the signed docs. Having to own up to my partner who understandably went ballistic. Whole experience was gut wrenching.
And a criminal investigation being launched when I was inhouse. Truly horrendous.
I think Kimmy might have worked for the same person at a similar time from the sound of it. Sucker my chap was a control freak and wouldn't let me send stuff at 6PQE without him approving it so I'd some time spend five hours waiting in the evening for a gap in his conference calls so he could make a couple of minor changes.
Initials DR by any chance?
I suspect i might know who this is.
Got a call from him at my desk one day when i was very junior. Knowing him by reputation, i didnt answer and instead went out for an early (and rather long) lunch. Never heard back so i assume he found some other poor unfortunate for whatever hellish task he had in mind.
Dealing with a complete c unit of a partner who just wouldn’t leave me alone when I was supposed to be on paternity leave and kept insisting I had to deal with his crap. It was our first child, we were thousands of Miles from family and Mrs Donny was really not well at all having endured a 36 hour labour that ended in an emergency C section, and was really struggling to feed Donny Jr who wasn’t sleeping for more than about 45 mins at a time.
Mrs Worfs and the Worfettes Christmas presents with loads of December closings. Couple of years made me miserable as I always leave it late and it ends up stressful and I never know what they want and kept thinking “the least I can do is get this right”. One year I felt close to having a panic attack.
It was easy when my career was at its peak and I could just throw money at it. And now its fine as I do hardly any work (in lawywr terms) and take plenty of December off and enjoy it. But there was a bit on the middle where my budget was low and I was still stuck with a bunch of work and tried to squeeze it into an afternoon on way back from work and it was not fun.
And managing a data room and sell side DD in Indonesia as a trainee. No idea what I was meant to do with this DD report and had a room with 10,000s contacts and this team of Indonesians looking at me. Spent two weeks on this Report (which frankly was shit) and nobody even looked at it.
Questionmark his actual tasks weren't particularly hellish it was just the fact he'd sit on them until they became urgent so that you'd literally do 2 hours of chargeable work for a week then do 8 hours over Friday evening on something that you could easily have done by Thursday if he'd forwarded it when it came in on Tuesday.
The issue was that on the one hand I was really good at billing, bad at saying no to work and was good at getting paid so the partners loved me as I was a little billing machine. However on the other hand I was not actually very good at the law side of the job so I was generally massively stressed as I did not know what I was doing and made mistakes. The partners put up with my mistakes as I was so profitable and the risk of me actually losing anyone any money was very low. This meant I got loaded with work. At one point I had exactly double the amount of hours as X who was exactly the same level as me. We were good mates and I went to her wedding (which she spent a lot of time planning at work while I was stressed out of my mind!). One of the partners actually asked me if I could speak to her and tell her to be more like me!! I should have said "I want to be more like her" !!!
I have dealt with several fatalities in an operational role that I found far far less stressful than a basic court application as a trainee.
On the face of it, "work crunch" in about 2018 - closing a new (complicated) fund, closing the cap call line related to it, closing the related secondary, closing a NAV line for a related fund, closing another cap call line. dealing with a complete fvckwit of a colleague.
having said that, my current role is probably more stressful (and being in my industry that assertion needs data - so blood pressure up, sleep down...) but i am enjoying it much more.
About a week before Xmas I found myself with my head in my hands (momentarily) regretting my work choices. "FVCK ME, NOTHING I DO IS THE EASY BIT, WHY DOES NOTHING EVER END UP ON MY DESK THAT'S EASY"... Closing something critical out, dealing with firm compensation/bonuses, grappling with some complex regulatory question, talking to our two largest investors. Knowing that if you fvck it up badly enough it has very real consequences for 100s/1000s of people.
Dual track auction sale and IPO for a PE client as a v junior partner. The weeks just blurred into work/taxi home / work. My worries/issues list was 4 handwritten pages long.
I’ve been chasing that feeling of relief I got when I was told they’d pulled both processes ever since.
A schitty 2-hour each way commute (including 2 trains, walking to departure station early a.m., walk home from that at night) to former schitty job in London, plus court, prison visits, no feedback or praise for successes and my parts in some v good acquittals, including a s18 stabbing, schitty money; less than a London bus driver.
I wish I'd invested in Bitcoin when it was 20 pence. I could be in Monte Carlo now, operating an offshore company formation agency.
You've gotta cheat these days to get ahead, or be born with a silver spoon in one's mouth.
Back then I knew had a couple of truly horrible bosses that made my life hell but TBH I know now that most of the worst periods of work stress were made x50 worse by my own desperate need to (at all times ) look and sound like the serious grown up professional that was always right
Since I accepted “we all feck up, get over yourself ” Jesus into my life, that kind of off the scale stress is in the past.
Now, most of my stress arises from my unerring ability to pick up my employers rocks and poke the creepy krawlees underneath
Your experience will generally correlate with the type of boss you have, won’t it? Luckily I’ve had a stint of unproblematic bosses in recent years but had a psycho boss when I was just starting out. He shouted many times at me for rubbish reasons, one time it was just because “you don’t give a f**k do you?” He was right, I really didn’t.
0
3
I had two full time jobs at the same time (long story).
It was horrible. The only thing I can really say is avoid the booze and try not to work late into the night (diminishing returns)
1
3
Working for a horrible man where you'd do nothing for days then at 4pm on a Friday he'd announce he had an urgent job that required you to stay into the night. At the point where I realised I had no life any more as I could never make any plans I quit and immediately felt better knowing that I only had to deal with it for another month.
1
4
The summer when I lost the argument about how the firm should grow in the future, and was shafted by a couple folks who I thought were mates.
Lots of stress and unpleasant meetings, but managed through with support of Mrs Hall, other loyal Partners and a couple of other lawyer mates, who I then set up a new firm with.
Stay off the drink, and DEFINITELY a trouble shared is a trouble halved.
1
4
Leaving my job and having my manager calling my friends and family to get me to come back.
He won loads of internal awards etc.
'sorry mate. Projects finished. Do it yourself next time. You are the 'leader' after all'
2
4
$2 billion dollar urgent freezing junction. Trying to get it lifted, while thousands of employees couldn’t be paid at the client. Russian clients/business, high profile politically. Was only about 3 PQE but doing the senior associate’s role and drafting everything and talking to counsel and managing a couple junior associates. Partner helped but he had other matters on. 3am every night, insane stress and pressure to get it done, famous silks on both sides. On top of that had family visiting from the USA at the same time and staying with me, to talk about urgent family business and could (literally) only speak to them at 3am when I got back. Learnt a lot and it was great experience but it was insane
2
3
Same as everyone there have been a lot of volume/urgency pressures, but the most stress was working for a grade A khunt who would ignore me/give me impossible tasks/give me "urgent" stuff to do at 4.30pm and not use it for days afterwards/lie about me in appraisals, etc etc. He was supported and enabled by a khunt of an HR director as well as other partners who wanted an easy life. This was 2008 - 2014 so hard to find another job. Left eventually and took a massive pay cut just to get out. Was awful and sustained. Thought about suing for constructive dismissal but didn't have the energy for it. Never again.
1
4
Similar to Sails, but with added nicieties like "This client is very fussy so you better get it right first time. I don't have time to look at it or give you any further information but if you get it wrong or the client picks up something that is missing I will sack you myself. Don't ask the client for instructions - we can't interrupt them at the weekend. Speak on Monday"
2
1
I think Kimmy might have worked for the same person at a similar time from the sound of it. Sucker my chap was a control freak and wouldn't let me send stuff at 6PQE without him approving it so I'd some time spend five hours waiting in the evening for a gap in his conference calls so he could make a couple of minor changes.
0
3
It's not the same person, saillaw.
0
3
Sadly there are many aunts in this industry. I take a little solace in the fact that that firm collapsed shortly after I left.
0
2
SummerSails20 Mar 24 15:54
Reply |
Report
Vote up!
0
Vote down!
0
I think Kimmy might have worked for the same person at a similar time from the sound of it. Sucker my chap was a control freak and wouldn't let me send stuff at 6PQE without him approving it so I'd some time spend five hours waiting in the evening for a gap in his conference calls so he could make a couple of minor changes.
Initials DR by any chance?
0
2
Custody. Many days where there were 6 or 7 in the holding cell, same number awaiting disposal, one or two looking to fight and a medical emergency as well.
Got through it with a fab team.
1
3
Being gaslighted by a boss and working well over the odds for a prolonged period of time, with no extra support offered.
I went on holiday and came back and handed my notice in
It wasn’t worth it and the boss didn’t respect or deserve me
0
3
First year or so in house when I was largely doing it all myself (there are now three senior litigators on the team). The days were nowhere as long as private practice, but the rapid-fire pressure of dealing with dozens of different issues every day was intense. It would build up over the week and by Thursday & Friday I'd leave work physically shaking and almost in a trance. Never had anything like it in PP, even when working ridiculous hours - the need to make actual decisions on things, rather than just advising or getting physical tasks done, made all the difference.
Dealt with it in the old fashioned way, loads of drink, but having evenings & Saturdays to de-stress made a big difference too
1
5
Was that when you were beating peope at the weekends too warren?
1
2
It was indeed him Fish. Only job I've quit before the end of probation because I couldn't face having an even longer notice period to deal with.
1
2
Worst days are all related to a fvck up, none were mine personally, but mine to sort out. I'm quite chill though, worst case- sack me, I'll do something else. Nobody dies in what I do, so use some perspective, and some alcohol.
Maybe a shout for those next day in the office after having accidentally/ drunkenly shägged a colleague, those could be pretty stressful I recall. It is now some years since that was last an issue faod, I make better choices these days.
3
2
Bullying/undermining situation that just got worse and worse.
I ended up leaving a job I had loved and excelled at. Big pay drop.*
But it was worth it.
I was so unhappy and stressed (heart racing at night, constantly had clenched fists etc. eczema etc.) I stopped caring about the money v early on, I just had to figure out a way to leave to do something viable, it took months.
* having stopped caring about the ££ I quickly took the view that “something would turn up money- wise” - and it did. I have since taken the same view any time approaching being broke and it is remarkable how it always does. Or maybe you just realise it doesnt matter. Either way, do NOT feel trapped by money, ever, you are skilled and intelligent, there is always some work you can do.
4
3
Bipolar management. From lavish praise to spittle flecked anger over the course of an hour sometimes less. No feedback on work despite being 18 mths pqe and no distinguishing between my experience level and that of a 10 year pqe. I was meant to pick up on their mistakes. It was textbook toxicity and frankly i didnt like the money enough to put up with it.
1
3
Honestly can’t remember, but whatever it was, it won’t have been that bad in actual stress terms. Law is tiresome and excessively time consuming and often irritating; it makes me feel sad to spend so much time of my life doing something so pointless. But it’s not actually that stressful is it in the grand scheme of things; it’s just giving people advice. What’s the worst that could happen?
1
2
Working with a nightmare partner, Bumped meetings or ignored them. Wouldn't respond to emails. Wouldn't read memos. The matter was something thepartner needed to sign due to its nature. Gave me instructions then asked me why I was doing it that way when I was doing what I'd been told to do by the partner.
I started having night terrors. Laid awake at night tearful and heart racing. I left for a massive payrise but it took years to get over.
A friend worked for the team a while ago. The partner hasn't changed one bit and she left within a year because she wasn't being allocated work. Just odd.
1
2
First few years of trying to be a great dad/husband and great PP lawyer. Wasn't for me so I gave up and moved in house.
Leaving work in time to see the kids, dinner, shower then back to work at 7/8pm for at least 3 hours only to go to bed and then be woken up by a baby several times only for, just as the light was beginning to appear at the end of the tunnel, another baby to come along and the whole process to start again.
Looking back I was neither happy nor healthy. Obviously performance went to shite as well because I was constantly tired.
0
2
The giving advice is fine. Most of these stories above are about incidental adversarial dealings with so-called colleagues whilst trying to get on with giving advice.
1
3
yeah but who cares
stuff other people do say and think makes little difference to me tbh
4
3
Having an intimidating senior use his authority and influence to control my work so I only worked with him. Raising concerns with others but told to roll with it as he was top dog. Once I had given him clear signals I was not interested in his advances, he made my life unbearable. This was against the backdrop of crazy deals so long and stressful months in the office.
This was over 15 years ago when the “me too” movement didn’t exist and I was a junior. I felt trapped and eventually felt I had to leave which made me feel empty given I had worked so hard to get where I was in that firm. Insane to think these things happened back then. It’s bad enough working in a highly pressurised job, nevermind with a pervert.
2
4
When i’ve promised my kids we’ll do something and then I have to work. Especially when I’m supposed to be on holiday. I hate letting them down.
The 3am nights or time pressured deadlines that happen from time to time never really stress me.
2
4
Going to a completion meeting on a ferry and realising when I got to the other end that I didn’t have the signed docs. Having to own up to my partner who understandably went ballistic. Whole experience was gut wrenching.
And a criminal investigation being launched when I was inhouse. Truly horrendous.
3
3
I suspect i might know who this is.
Got a call from him at my desk one day when i was very junior. Knowing him by reputation, i didnt answer and instead went out for an early (and rather long) lunch. Never heard back so i assume he found some other poor unfortunate for whatever hellish task he had in mind.
1
3
Dealing with a complete c unit of a partner who just wouldn’t leave me alone when I was supposed to be on paternity leave and kept insisting I had to deal with his crap. It was our first child, we were thousands of Miles from family and Mrs Donny was really not well at all having endured a 36 hour labour that ended in an emergency C section, and was really struggling to feed Donny Jr who wasn’t sleeping for more than about 45 mins at a time.
1
2
Mrs Worfs and the Worfettes Christmas presents with loads of December closings. Couple of years made me miserable as I always leave it late and it ends up stressful and I never know what they want and kept thinking “the least I can do is get this right”. One year I felt close to having a panic attack.
It was easy when my career was at its peak and I could just throw money at it. And now its fine as I do hardly any work (in lawywr terms) and take plenty of December off and enjoy it. But there was a bit on the middle where my budget was low and I was still stuck with a bunch of work and tried to squeeze it into an afternoon on way back from work and it was not fun.
And managing a data room and sell side DD in Indonesia as a trainee. No idea what I was meant to do with this DD report and had a room with 10,000s contacts and this team of Indonesians looking at me. Spent two weeks on this Report (which frankly was shit) and nobody even looked at it.
0
2
Probably when getting shafted on comp
2
2
No, it was after that.
1
2
Questionmark his actual tasks weren't particularly hellish it was just the fact he'd sit on them until they became urgent so that you'd literally do 2 hours of chargeable work for a week then do 8 hours over Friday evening on something that you could easily have done by Thursday if he'd forwarded it when it came in on Tuesday.
3
4
Most of my private practice career.
God I hated it.
The issue was that on the one hand I was really good at billing, bad at saying no to work and was good at getting paid so the partners loved me as I was a little billing machine. However on the other hand I was not actually very good at the law side of the job so I was generally massively stressed as I did not know what I was doing and made mistakes. The partners put up with my mistakes as I was so profitable and the risk of me actually losing anyone any money was very low. This meant I got loaded with work. At one point I had exactly double the amount of hours as X who was exactly the same level as me. We were good mates and I went to her wedding (which she spent a lot of time planning at work while I was stressed out of my mind!). One of the partners actually asked me if I could speak to her and tell her to be more like me!! I should have said "I want to be more like her" !!!
I have dealt with several fatalities in an operational role that I found far far less stressful than a basic court application as a trainee.
0
3
On the face of it, "work crunch" in about 2018 - closing a new (complicated) fund, closing the cap call line related to it, closing the related secondary, closing a NAV line for a related fund, closing another cap call line. dealing with a complete fvckwit of a colleague.
having said that, my current role is probably more stressful (and being in my industry that assertion needs data - so blood pressure up, sleep down...) but i am enjoying it much more.
About a week before Xmas I found myself with my head in my hands (momentarily) regretting my work choices. "FVCK ME, NOTHING I DO IS THE EASY BIT, WHY DOES NOTHING EVER END UP ON MY DESK THAT'S EASY"... Closing something critical out, dealing with firm compensation/bonuses, grappling with some complex regulatory question, talking to our two largest investors. Knowing that if you fvck it up badly enough it has very real consequences for 100s/1000s of people.
0
2
Dual track auction sale and IPO for a PE client as a v junior partner. The weeks just blurred into work/taxi home / work. My worries/issues list was 4 handwritten pages long.
I’ve been chasing that feeling of relief I got when I was told they’d pulled both processes ever since.
0
2
A schitty 2-hour each way commute (including 2 trains, walking to departure station early a.m., walk home from that at night) to former schitty job in London, plus court, prison visits, no feedback or praise for successes and my parts in some v good acquittals, including a s18 stabbing, schitty money; less than a London bus driver.
I wish I'd invested in Bitcoin when it was 20 pence. I could be in Monte Carlo now, operating an offshore company formation agency.
You've gotta cheat these days to get ahead, or be born with a silver spoon in one's mouth.
0
2
Back then I knew had a couple of truly horrible bosses that made my life hell but TBH I know now that most of the worst periods of work stress were made x50 worse by my own desperate need to (at all times ) look and sound like the serious grown up professional that was always right
Since I accepted “we all feck up, get over yourself ” Jesus into my life, that kind of off the scale stress is in the past.
Now, most of my stress arises from my unerring ability to pick up my employers rocks and poke the creepy krawlees underneath
0
2
Not the work, but an absolute bell-end boss. i left after 2 months
0
2
even bell-end bosses have a purpose.
i was reminiscing with a former colleague about a former boss.
"he serves a purpose you know"
"what??"
"whenever i'm faced with a decision and i'm not sure what to do, i think 'what would X do?'...and then do the opposite"
0
2
I want to help people. Don't be like me.
0
2
Your experience will generally correlate with the type of boss you have, won’t it? Luckily I’ve had a stint of unproblematic bosses in recent years but had a psycho boss when I was just starting out. He shouted many times at me for rubbish reasons, one time it was just because “you don’t give a f**k do you?” He was right, I really didn’t.
Join the discussion