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People living alone

Spending all day tied to a computer, only human contact shop staff.

How are you coping?  I coped ok first time around, struggling badly this time, fooking bleak.

I can't imagine how hard this is, I mean its pretty tough with 2 young kids and work etc, but being alone would be really tough. I think I would even consider moving in with someone/parents.

if it helps I think everyone is finding this one a bit tougher, get through the days and the weeks take care of themselves. focus on the summer and bbqs/drinksin the sun. its not that far away.

 

also January is always mega shit

don't forget it is is January which is always a miserable fooking bastard anyway so it all seems so much worse

you can still meet a friend for a walk etc if you need human contact (yeah I know it's hard when the weather is shite)

take solace in the fact that everyone is struggling, no matter what their situation

 

I am going into the office a couple of days a week on the basis that I cannot work effectively from home. May pare that down or cut that out entirely though to comply with LD3 (still undecided how much I care, and TBD if the firm's policy on office access would change). But it's not so much about human contact (the office is completely empty) but more: (1) having a bit more structure to the day, (2) my morning walk to the tube station, (3) the office setting and resources genuinely make it more efficient for me.

So actually I guess my answer to OP's question is: if it's just a matter of lack of human contact I am absolutely fine. (But then I am the person who always sympathizes with the villain in the superhero movies who wants to wipe out humanity.)

ROF is more than enough human contact for me.

Other half is at work front line, leaves 6,30 back 7pm every day. Kids aren’t here. I’m not necessarily alone as I have other half in evenings and weekends but working days are terribly bleak and really struggling with depression, find it hard to get anything done / concentrate and it’s getting worse every day. 

I thought fook that and moved in with my bubble, am WFH so it makes no odds on that front. Being in the same place on my own every day would drive me mad and I'm glad I have an out. I have massive sympathy for those that don't have that option

None of my friends and family are up for ignoring regulations, even if I was Clergs.  I am quite recently moved to a small town and don't know many people in immediate locality for a quick walk or what not.

Weird thing is, I have never felt lonely before, not for one second, didn't really know what it was like.  In fact thought I might be immune.    Now I do.

Although tough restrictions are probably going to last till March/April, I do think on balance that the national mood will improve in about a month from now. After a few more hiccups the vaccination numbers will start to really ramp up, we will start to see solid evidence that neither the UK nor SA new strains are significantly more vaccine resistant, most teething problems with UK/EU transport of goods will have been ironed out, Trump will be a pathetic comedy figure, and the days will be getting noticeably lighter.

Have done lots and lots of Zooming since March, but suddenly become sick of it and am looking for excuses to avoid, which I don't even understand myself in the circs.

*hugs for Guy*

it will get better. Are there any local facebook/activity groups etc where you can ask if anyone wants their dog walked, shopping done etc which might offer some more human contact? People do that in my area and are often overwhelmed with meeting up offers from people in similar situations

 offering a dog walking service is an excellent idea Queenie, except I am so ludicrously busy with work at the moment.  When things calm down I will look into that.  Last time I did do shopping for a few people too, have far less motivation now.

I think that people who don't live alone don't realise how different seeing people in real life is compared to Zoom.  I could Zoom all day long but that's so wearing, whereas seeing people is energising.

zooming is bloody awful tbf i hope this time round my friends don’t propose an unending cycle of virtual quizzes again

can you not bubble with anyone nearby guy? most households would kill for a bit of variety themselves id imagine 

My single gal pal who lives downstairs is staying in California till this over.

Hopefully am seeing a friend for a walk at the weekend, but also when most of your friends are comfortable and coupled up, it feels like they don't necessarily want to give up an hour for a freezing, drizzly walk and I don't want to be THAT burden either.

 

Must be awful being on your own. Try to find little activities you can do at home which lift your mood (reading, video games, do an exercise class off youtube). I find going for a run or walk can be quite helpful if I catch sight of the black dog in the distance.

otherwise i would just give yourself a break and do something you know you enjoy - mastering a new ability in lockdown sounds great but often feels like more work

maybe drop loads of money on one of those elaborate cook at home three course meals from a nearby restaurant and spend a Saturday afternoon going to town with it

Guy, try to be really disciplined with creating boundaries with work, make sure you do get some time to yourself. Easy to bury yourself in work as a coping mechanism but it's maladaptive.  Are you in private practice?

Chin up, Guy, sun. This will pass and we'll look forward to seeing you at RoF drinks and sinking a few beers together. 

Have a w**k, stick on a film and get out your own head for a while. 

 

None of my friends and family are up for ignoring regulations, even if I was Clergs.

So you don't know anyone not in a support bubble?  There is no age / other restriction on it Guy - you can entirely legitimately pair up with another household and long as its monogamous and neither household starts seeing other households you're perfectly within the law.

It feels other-worldly in many respects. I both can't get used to it and feel as though it has been going on forever. I don't so much feel lonely as discombobulated. A couple of my friends have gone completely off the radar in the new year and I'm worried to contact them in case something bad has happened. It's like being in a bad dream.

I need to save my bubble for the barber I will be getting an illicit haircut from a month from now. (I'm sure he will bubble-cheat on me but at least I can state with a straight face to the cops that he is my one and only bubblemate.)

They may be like me Geoff, I don't really feel I have anything positive to say to anyone so tending not to keep up the calls and whatsapp stuff I usually do.

I live alone. It's been challenging this last year. I have set a few very hard rules which I abide by each day:

Once I've got up and had my proper first coffee, I make another in my thermal cup and go and have it outside. If it's wet I take a plastic bag to sit on. Nothing stops this happening, even if just out for half an hour.

I take a full hour or 90 minutes for lunch, and work out, walk or potter. I do not eat. I do that on work's time earlier or later. Those 90 mins are mine to do cool shit with.

At 1700 I turn off my work computer and go out for a wander, again sometimes very short for 20 mins, sometimes longer. When I return home that's me time. I'll most often ring a mate, or one of my kids, and just chat shite for a few mins to defrag from work.

I never watch TV in the day as I keep that as a purely evening thing, when I feel like it.

Just being outside, around people (whether actually interacting with them or not) is spectacularly good for one's mental health. It's saved me from jumping in front of a few busses.

If any other RoF live-aloners want a chat one eve then a few of the usual suspects here have my phone number and I'll be happy to spend some time regaling you with tales of my Tinder conquests, banjo breakage and dits about the mental birds I've met off fetlife.

Though I am grateful I live alone rather than with randoms during this, it is so isolating

I say this as somebody who pre covid was already in a programme to support people who struggle with isolation

 

my two main solace's are that I still have to go in to work regularly and I have people who are happy to meet up and go for walks etc with varying levels of social distancing 

Some of the above posts sound very sad but hopefully there is some good advice for people that need it.

Also, hopefully not too long before we can have an in-person ROF drink. 

Tbf that might make more of you want to live alone.

I had been pretty robust regarding lockdown; I was exercising, drinking less, spending time with my husband.  But, the announcement just before Christmas stating that we couldn't spend Christmas Day if family if in a higher Tier really knocked me sideway and I cried for the first time over this whole situation.  I have felt flat since; and each announcement just makes me feel more stifled and oppressed.   It hasn't been helped this week by most things going wrong i.e. bad news, both personally and professionally.  Just bleurgh.

when this is over, I want to drink martinis with Trombs and Clerghers.

This thread has inspired me to book a medical pedicure for the weekend, so that I can have a man attend to my feet.

Same Clergs. You're alright, kid. And you have just reminded me about this absolutely stunning dirtbag that I met off terrible website of kink mentioned above who was from your manor. Met her in a hotel in Berwick, had to pay for a professional bed clean. Worth it.

Tip top Mr Coase. It really works for me. Hopefully for others too. Simply splitting time of leisure, work and exercise, mainly done in the same space, makes is tolerable. Ish!

I don't live alone, although I've been wfh since February last year with DH gone most days (long hours with the added worry that he works in a hospital). Our son is autistic so whoops with joy every time school closes and we can "hibernate" again - which is one less thing to worry about but also underscores how wretched I feel. 

I don't like catching up with people on Teams, Zoom etc - it just feels contrived. I've also realised there was a superficiality to some friendships that hasn't stood the lockdown test. (If we can't drink wine and bitch about work or who's getting divorced etc there's just not much else). I find myself posting on here rather than just lurking.  

I am clinically depressed and medicated for it, so it's hard to tell what is situational and what is pathological. I do know that I feel a lot more anxious than last time, even a little unhinged, but as PP said that is probably just bastard January.

Agree with others who mentioned discombobulation and inefficiency, lethargy etc - I cried over a frankly fooking trivial inability to work my printer today. 

I thought Linda's thread about what helps with sleep and anxiety the other day was great and I've used loads of the reccos on there. 

It's not very enjoyable. I used to have a semblance of life. Now I don't. Just 4 walls, not allowed to go out (self-isolation), meeting maybe 1 person fortnightly if that. 

I exist to serve the vulnerable now.  

I live alone.  I had a plan to make sure I had time away from the computer but, like Judy, work has been horrendous.  

I have more "one to one" calls with friends and I'm okay at the moment (having had a lovely Christmas) but with Christmas over, I can see the next few weeks being quite grim.

Other than by car, there is no where for me to walk around here (no footpaths and the bridleways are clay middens at this time of year), I'm planning to start night walking in epping forest at the weekend to see how that goes...

Thank god I've got the Dog! 

Margaret dabbs is open? Holy moley I’ll make a booking. Judo anamaya centre is open too for everything except massage I think. 
 

I have the opposite problem - I want to book a hotel and just go and be alone for a couple of days. My kids are particularly clingy this week (I think because I took a week off so they had me 24/7 and now the nanny’s back and they don’t like it) and Mr tc is being v needy for various reasons and I just want to sit in a hotel room by myself and watch crap telly and read a book and pass out for a couple of days 

you can still meet a friend for a walk etc if you need human contact (yeah I know it's hard when the weather is shite)

fooks sake don't tell anyone about it though as I got bitched for driving in my car and not even getting out! 

I am going into the office a couple of days a week on the basis that I cannot work effectively from home.

Don't tell anyone it's because you can't work effectively as that's not allowed any more.  It's only where it's not "reasonably possible".

I live on my own, too.   

I thought I felt better about this LD compared to the first one, but am finding that the slightest thing will make me irritated and anxious, like I am on the edge all the time.  I bubble with my parents (in their 70s) who are a half-hour drive away and have 2 friends a similar distance away I walk with occasionally (roughly once a fortnight or so).  I understand the importance of exercise and getting outside but sometimes just cannot be arsed, especially when it's so dark in the morning/evening still. 

I "see" friends a few times a week on zoom and w/a, but as many have said, it's not so easy when there's nothing much to say.  It's a good idea to do something together, eg play backgammon or chess online with a drink, and the chat will follow from that. 

I can't be bothered to clean the house or do anything constructive (ooh, learn a language! yeah, right). 

I also dislike my work (solicitor) - it's just a load of shitty hassle and completely thankless. 

Hugs and sympathies to all of you out there in a similar situation. 

This is why I got out of London and came to be with my parents as I know the joys of sitting in a flat on your own from previous times when I've simply not been working.  Used to look forward to going out and getting a sandwich as it was something break up the day and a chance to have a quick human interaction with two brothers who ran the local sandwich shop.

Zoom is fine if you want to do group catching up by I find the phone is better for properly talking to people although saying that I've not actually spoken to anyone beyond work for weeks but I'm an anti-social git.

Wot Ronters said broadly. 

I volunteered for furlough and a 50% pay cut  in March as we'd never have coped with having a kid under 2 at home and both working full time. 

Went back to work mid June and haven't had a day off since, including working some very long hours and every day over Christmas apart from Christmas day. This is partly due to redundancies meaning everyone in my team is at absolute capacity and because my entire caseload was created off my own back. Tried to have a day off in December and ended up working 12 hours. 

So every day since the 19th February I've been looking after a toddler (without being able to rely on any assistance from family - hell, playgrounds were shut in LD1 FFS) and/or working. 

I've seen my old man once since February and I've seen friends two occasions. The old man was meant to be coming for Christmas but that got fooked. 

I'd do anything for a day of not working or childcare but can't see work letting up so will likely be a year without having had a day off. Just want to crawl into a corner and die now.

"I sort of feel sorry for people living alone.

But on the other hand they can have my two fooking kids if they want."

Heh!  Appreciate it is just as much of a struggle for parents, but in different ways.

 

 

Lots of people are struggling and I have massive sympathy for anyone, like Guy, who's struggling through this. I'm fortunate to have my job (and Mrs and kid) and there are a lot of people worse off than me. 

I'll buy anyone on this board who turns up to the next RoF drinks a pint to thank them for keeping me from losing it this year, no matter their views. Lots of good human beings here. 

Second on the pint offer.

BTW does anyone else get annoyed by chirpy articles in the press that say "How will you use all the free time you'll have in lockdown?  Maybe freshen up your antimicassers (sp?) or clean out that untidy loft?  Our experts give you twelve ideas to win at lockdown!!"?

or just me?

I thank the lord that I got this job in September and that my mum got the all clear in December.

There was a period over the summer when I was going actually mental with stress, although being able to have a glass of wine in the sunshine really helped.

I'd be mentally fooked now if I were unemployed.

Do they paint your nails at the end of it judo? Mr tc has admitted to having a medical pedicure there before (heh, I busted him coming out one day) but I haven’t been there since it was still spa.nk

I am actually going to the New Cavendish St one, rather than the NH one this time.  I usually go to Liberty (for the points).

I didn't get offered the nail paint option, so I suspect that is prohibited.  So long as I get a little massage from the podiatrist, I am not fussed as I am currently living in Boots and trainers.

It has been hard and the isolation is the main reason. I live alone overseas and we are in lockdown. The last part isn't the worst as I have recently travelled so I'm in self isolation anyway and bouncing off the walls. Only reason I am allowed out at the moment is to buy food. I've seen my family twice in the last 12 months.

In the first lockdown I was pretty good, ate healthy and did a load of exercise, but I seem to have lost the motivation now. 

To add to this when I talk to my colleagues in the UK almost all of them are working from home and seeing more of their spouses and kids. In contrast I am living alone but actually working in the office. They don't seem to understand that it is different for the few of us that are on our own.

Honestly if it wasn't for my good neighbours who I form a bubble with this would probably be too much.

As it stands at the moment I have another year overseas. I have asked if I can move early, but that seems to have fallen on deaf ears. It is much easier for them to leave me here for another year than try and find someone volunteer to replace me so I feel like I am trapped by my position.

Isolation is really the worse.  It's an actual torture technique and a punishment for violet evil prisoners. 

After lockdown, I am going to shag the very first man I see between the ages of 25 and 60.

I spent the whole of the November lockdown plus a couple of weeks after alone actually. Literally didn't meet a single person properly for nearly 6 weeks as my wife was visiting her mum overseas. I quite like my own company and was in regular contact with mates and family via whatsapp and video calls etc but it is seriously grim for that long. Every day seems the same. I hate to think what it must be like for people with mental health problems. This absolutely must be the very last one. 

5 years ago I took a course of escitalopram for a couple of years after quite a tough time.

I went back on the mental meds in October.  Hoping to get off them again sharpish but it's a very very tough time.  

I though that I as cool with being a single gal about time, but it's made me realise just how important a happy, healthy relationship is to one's well-being.

When you're buy yourself, you really dwell on things (usually dark things)

I have been miserable since New Year, burst into tears at stroke of midnight on NYE and still tearful now (partly because supposed to be going on hol next weekend for winter sun).

drudge of caring for the oldsters on my own and my sis has been on hols since 20 dec.

but then today after full day with one old lady, as i pulled up outside home, 2 friends happened to be walking by and i was astonished what a boost it gave me.

i do not live alone, i go out to shops and take oldsters to appts so see loads of people,  but when its all transactional rather than chats it is still not very nourishing

Judo, I have a few bottles of cider, a lot of lube, a very vivid imagination and, thanks to our wonderfully efficient NHS, a genuinely clear STI check as of December 22nd. 

Meet you in that alley near the Cheshire Cheese l8r. 

Its horrific to think of people alone and lonely. I also keep thinking of the fact there must be thousands of old people who have had no physical contact with anyone since March even if they’ve seen family members it’s unimaginable not having a hug month on month.  
 

Guy - is there a gym near you where they are doing online sessions? I joined a place here and have enjoyed forming a little community and we all have a class in the morning via zoom. You feel like you’re getting some interaction with other people. 
 

if anyone wants to come and stay abs be part of our childcare bubble that’s fine. You just need to home school the kids with me and in return you’ll get some great company and alcohol. 
 

Stay strong roflings, this is a horrible time for most. 

Awww gang. It’s so shit, whichever side of the tunnel you’re on. Sending loads of virtual love and hugs.

I always have radio 4 on during the day as like to hear chatter, might work for some to break up the silence. 
 

I live 10 mins from my family so just go and see them when I feel the loneliness creeping in. Also have friends round every week or so. I've always been something of an introvert so I'm honestly not struggling that much. 

What depresses me more than the loneliness is how my life has effectively been put on hold for the last year. V. difficult to make career progress, no chance of meeting a partner, no chance of making any new mates. I may as well have gone into hibernation at the end of Feb '20...Boris Johnson has stolen a year of my life. 

Absolutely. Side point but I keep thinking as my little girl is about to turn 2 half of her life has been in covid restrictions and whilst some would say she’s too little to know any different there’s already so many little rites of passage and experiences her brother has had that she may not ever have and he’s 4 :( 

Guy, so much respect for you that given your personal hardships in lockdown, you are able to be set that aside in arriving at your view that as a matter of public good, lockdown is appropriate under the circumstances. (Not saying that I absolutely agree--if anything I am almost the opposite in that I can't say I have suffered personally from lockdown but am pretty much Team Sane-adjacent--but just admiring your ability to transcend your personal perspective.)

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