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Complimenting strangers

My wife and her and my girl mates have taken to complimenting random women in the street. 

It's so weird. We were just out in the park and with me not knowing what was going to happen next, my wife goes up to a lady with me next to her and says "your bum looks great in those leggings"

I stood there completely shocked and probably had the nervous desperate air of a man looking for a three way. My wife looked all cool and the lady was really appreciative but I've probably never looked so much like a perv even though it was none of my fault.

Apparently this is a thing amongst the hip of Hackney. Women giving other women compliments to take the power from men giving wolf whistles etc. 

I'm not sure I follow the logic tbh. Take power from away from men publicly judging women's bodies by making it clear than women are also constantly judging your body?

Yes, I can imagine how the option of the ground swallowing you hole at that point would have been quite welcome.

I’m not sure there is any acceptable demeanour to adopt at that point other than pretending you’re doing service in the community work and taking a patient for a stroll. 

 

I didn't think it could get much worse than a stranger talking to me, but a stranger remarking on my appearance under the guise of it being positive feminism would get such a withering stare

It was and my wife didn't think it was weird as she gets compliments for the same reason from women. So maybe it's just a thing. 

 

This lady was working out and was resting between sets. It wasn't just " your bum is great" it was more "your bum looks great in those leggings. I can never find leggings that i feel comfortable in, where are they from etc"

just more bullshit.

women have recently been posting black and white pics of themselves on instagram for reasons unknown with a hashtag #challengeaccepted. 

Apparently it's some power thing.  But i've just been looking at the bikini pics and objectifying them.

Go girls!!  Get them bikinis out to give us men a lesson in ... er....something!

This thread puts it beyond doubt that the word creepy is overused.

Work out what you are trying to say instead of defaulting to creepy, which this clearly wasn't.

You should totally be able to tell people their arse looks good in leggings.  I try and keep it to hair and eyes to look less of a perve but I love complimenting people and when I get compliments.  It's at best nice and worse a bit sexy.

hashtagwhatsnottolove!?

 

When I was walking yesterday I encountered one of the mums from my nippers' school

They were obviously on their way back from a chum's house with a swimming pool or paddling pool or from the river.

I could not help but congratulate her 7 year old on his mank8ni.  I said "u look great, just like borat. Get your mum to show u the movie when u get home."

The mum laughed.*

*this is an actual true

A very sweet MILF in very short shorts (and top quality norks, to preempt the inevitable question) complimented me on my shirt the other day.

I took it at face value and then kept bumping into her around the local CoOp.

Have I missed an opportunity there?

Total immunity, no. Partial, yes. A man trying to change in the ladies is a creep. Does Bam's wife not get immunity for that one?

It depends on context and audience but of course women can say stuff men can't without being creepy.

Doesn't mean it's not weird or inappropriate 

Not knowing how to respond to the compliment with an appreciation of her own attire that didn’t flag that I’d clocked the shortness and tightness of her shorts and spaghetti strap vest top, I settled for something smooth like “thanks, it’s from H&M”

This is a tricky one. I’ve not nor would I compliment a part of the person but I have complimented an item of clothing. A couple of weekends ago the OH and I collected a takeout from the local Italian restaurant that was also reopening for eating in. A woman turned up with her partner in a fabulous outfit. It was a sort of blue and white toile du juoy dress with tan leather belt and wedges sandals. It looked great. She was looking a bit anxious as the restaurant kept seating other people before her and partner. As we left I just commented that her dress was fab. She seemed happy by the compliment and I hope it took her mind off the clusterfuck of the seating. 
 

When it’s happened to me, clothing, jewellery or shoes for example, it’s made me feel quite cheered. Agree though, if it was accompanied by your [bodypart] looks great in that I’d feel weird. 

Heh@this (and the dickey)

A totally harmless hipster working on the counter of a Spar corner shop was beeping my food purchases and then said ‘hey I really like your top, man. So ...vintage.’

it’s a worn out top I wear when I’m doing building/DIY work. Vintage? No, bought new and worn to death. Early 2000s is not ‘vintage’. 
 

I said ‘thank you. Really? (He nodded).  I will leave it to you in my will. I’m soooo vintage that you can expect to inherit it quite soon.’ He said ‘hey thanks. That’s so sweet.’

 

It is this sort of interaction that makes people report that they have been abducted by aliens

Spurious - I assume we mean by “creepy” appearing to indicate some sort of inappropriate sexual intent.  I don’t think there is any context you can compliment a strangers bum with out the risk of doing this - don’t care who you are  from a lone  man in a raincoat to a wife out with her husband (who knows what married couples are into? - viz that episode of Alan Partridge)

Yes, GSM.

The word “pert” also wondered unbidden across my brain in search of something to connect with but (fortunately) did not succeed in forcing itself out through my lips, concealed under a raffish blue disposable face mask.

If a lady said that to me I’d be quite pleased but also think it was strange. Either sex i would think it was a come on. If it was a bloke I’d find it pervy. 
 

I have also commented on people’s attire if they are in my general vicinity and we are having some sort of conversation anyway but I’d not comment on a stranger’s body parts. 

I am a random complimenter but I have the social skills and judgment to make it feel complimentary as intended, rather than uncomfortable. Would draw the line at approaching a stranger at the gym to congratulate them on their bum as my opening salvo, though might do it after a few minutes of conversation. 

I agree with Clergs that Mrs Bam comment was actually damning with faint praise--the compliment was really for the leggings.

For those who find the idea of giving or receiving compliments from strangers creepy/weird, do you think it might be a British thing where Brits seem a bit uncomfortable with any social interaction with a stranger that goes beyond anodyne weather chat...?

For those who find the idea of giving or receiving compliments from strangers creepy/weird, do you think it might be a British thing where Brits seem a bit uncomfortable with any social interaction with a stranger that goes beyond anodyne weather chat...?

No, I think it's the remark about a specific body part that I would find weird.

"I love your leggings, where did you get them?" is flattering.

"Your bum looks great in those leggings!" would be creepy coming from a straight man and a bit much coming from a gay man or another woman.

It's nice to be complemented on your taste in clothes or your hair cut or something you've achieved, but not so much being reduced to a set of body parts.

Had a coffee with my mate Emmy this morning. She got two compliments from ladies on her hair and running shoes. 

I, being a dick, said in a jokey flirty way "what about my hair!?!" which just made everyone uncomfortable. 

I like to compliment people generally but I don't think I would focus on the butt. It seems too personal for a stranger. To be fair it would feel too personal for a mate unless it was absolutely outstanding or she was inviting opinions on an outfit or something.

I can't actually think of anyone's bum I've complimented unless it's a guy I'm dating or planning to.

Where a mate's arse is so outstanding that it is not personal to comment on it. On the basis that said arse is in the category of national treasure and is therefore public property.

If this moment in life does arrive, feel free to bring this mate to rof drinks.

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