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Let your next career move come to you.

Clergs... you have caused me a problem

... so I've been spouting the line

a. that I don't care what I call people, if they want me to call them a kettle I'll call them that if it makes them happy.... it won't make them a kettle but to do otherwise is like pointing out a personal flaw and rude and unkind.

b. I'm happy for people be a different gender if they clearly define gender.

The problem is... I was awake at 3am and browsing the net, and I came across Caitlin Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner... and I realised I cannot rationalise that he is a female gender.  He competed as a male olympic athlete, fathered and raised a family of 5(?) and still has twig and berries and dates a woman.  I'm assuming their sex has the more traditional features in their somewhere...

Now I'm conflicted :(   it is apparently transphobic to call him Bruce, and I don't mind any name, but the female title to a strapping person with twig and berries, who seems to identify as a lesbian (?) is causing me problems.

Would someone please rationalise this for me!

 

 

it is utterly irrational, dw

irrational and until about 3 years ago completely offensive and dangerous

sadly there is a lot of right wing money behind it

"kindness" is foolish when it comes to defining boundaries. You need to be fierce.

Caitlyn Jenner is no big deal to me, however, Rachel Mackinnon is.

Hold on a minute Dogwarden - you been merrily calling men women and vice versa but have only just realized that someone with danglies doesn't fit into the definition of "female" easily?  Bloody hell, lad.

Well... sort of... yes.

Actually, I can sort of cope with danglies within someone who is transgender.  The operation to change is brutal and potentially never heals.  I could understand the decision not to have that kind of invasive surgery.

It's the combination of having a traditional family for most of your life, having danglies and having a relationship with a woman.

That seems fairly traditional, the only difference is wearing make up and a dress... and that isn't the defining characteristic of a transgender person.  

 

 

also btw it is transphobic and "genital obsessed" if you feel you would probably not want to have sex with a transman (if you are a straight woman) or a transwoman (as a lesbian)

 

yes (in that you are correct) but no (in that a lot of people would consider this "deadnaming" and insist you accept them as always having been a man in all ways)

Well tiger lily a lot of trans people refuse to define themselves as trans. They state that their sex is and always was what they want it to be 

it's highly confusing 

Rhamnousia14 Nov 19 15:24

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yes (in that you are correct) but no (in that a lot of people would consider this "deadnaming" and insist you accept them as always having been a man in all ways)

So does that means the term transman doesn't exist? Do they want to be just called a man?  Or what does transman actually mean to them?

 

linda - I agree it is very confusing, because logically, if they have had to transition they were not always what they say they were, but if it is just a matter of labelling and they don't want to actually be known as trans, then how can transphobia exist if it is not relative to them in their minds

I suppose it all comes down to whether 2 categories is enough (subjectively or objectively) and it probably isn’t but functionally it pretty useful and accounts for 99% of people so I’m happy with it.  But I would say that being a straight old fashioned dangler.

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