A White & Case partner has revealed his passionate love for an expensive soft drink called Dirty Lemon.
Bijal Vakil, a tech partner in the US firm’s Palo Alto office, told the Financial Times that he ordered three cases of the lemon-flavoured water a month.
In the story, Vakil extolled its "unparalleled" health benefits. "It's not easy to find waters with turmeric and charcoal on the market", he said.
"You can't buy this sort of coverage in the FT", commented a rival firm's spokesman.
According to Dirty Lemon, Vakil's preferred tipple is "an elixir designed to improve digestion, stimulate liver function & gently cleanse your system of impurities".
Retailing at $65 for a pack of six, each half-litre bottle costs over $10. Customers who are not as financially blessed as White & Case partners can reduce their outlay to just $45 by setting up a standing order. Or they can enjoy the same unparalleled health benefits by grating some coal into a glass of Ribena.
Although Vakil enjoys Dirty Lemon's signature beverage, it produces 13 other varieties of lemon water. Overworked lawyers may wish to plump for The Beauty Blend. "Formulated with four grams of hydrolyzed marine collagen", whispers Dirty Lemon, it is "designed to hydrate skin, increase elasticity, reduce wrinkles and support new collagen production".
Vakil is invited to place an order immediately for RollOnFriday's new lung-cleansing tonic, GoatBreath ($50 per air bag).
We have reached peak White & Case. They can shut it down now.
He has really bought into the tech bro scene, hasn't he. He probably eats raw only.
Are there any weak lemon drinks that aren't vegan? As far I'm aware Robinsons don't put ham in any of their cordials.
Expensive products that can only be purchased by text message and are then delivered to the office? I wonder where they got the idea for that business model?
I'm actually involved in the making of this stuff. I work out in the morning, then take a shower, catching the water in a special tray. Then I undergo a full colonic irrigation with the used water. Then I mash some lemon wedges into it using a special "treading" technique. Then I bottle it. Then I deliver it to White & Case. Trust me, it really does stimulate their liver functions.
I really like him... this is like Fiji over Dasani for him. FU RoF.