Now it's a party.
Meeting in person after two years of lockdowns has proved overwhelming for one solicitor, who defecated around a hotel's communal areas after his firm's summer party.
The lawyer, whom RollOnFriday is not naming to save his blushes, was attending a firm-wide celebration thrown by Ashfords last week. The firm has offices in Bristol, Taunton and Plymouth and is headquartered in Exeter, where it booked rooms in a Premier Inn for its people after a festival-themed shindig.
Following the event, hotel staff noticed a guest wandering into the disabled loos by reception, and a cleaner subsequently found a poo in the middle of the floor, which they cleared up.
The next morning, as hungover Ashfords lawyers prepared to board a coach to take them home, the Premier Inn's maintenance man found another human stool, this time in the middle of the car park.
Rather than deal with that as well, the long suffering staff analysed footage from the hotel's CCTV cameras. It showed the same guest who had entered the lobby loos also leaving his room in the middle of the night, exiting through a fire door into the car park, and dropping an al fresco present on the tarmac.
Premier Inn staff identified the man in the video as a guest with the Ashfords party. A spokesperson for the hotel chain told RollOnFriday that on check-out, a receptionist discreetly informed the solicitor that he needed to clean up his car park poo, which he did without complaint. "He didn't seem surprised at all. It may just be what he does when he's had a few drinks", said an insider.
A spokesperson for Ashfords said, "This was our first summer party post pandemic. Our people have been working hard and were keen to reconnect and enjoy themselves. Unfortunately, this was taken too far by the individual involved".
"Our people know what behaviour is expected of them and this incident clearly doesn’t meet that expectation; particularly in being able to show courtesy and respect to those working equally hard at the hotel where some of our people stayed after the event”, they said.
”We have spoken with the individual involved and are investigating what happened. We have also apologised to those affected at the hotel".
It is rare for a law firm's phantom shitter to be identified, although in 2015 the culprit was abundantly clear when a pedestrian took a sneaky poo behind a bush, without appreciating that the glass offices behind her were occupied by Mills & Reeve.
Comments
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He sounds a bit scatty.
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Do NOT look at this man's internet history.
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"This was our first summer party post pandemic. Our people have been working hard and were keen to reconnect and enjoy themselves. Unfortunately, this was taken too far by the individual involved".
Presumably if he’d only pissed all over the floor in the disabled loos and the car park then it would have been ok. Crapping just took it too far.
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Country people.
Probably not used to flushing toilets.
Thank God Premier Inn don't have bidets. God alone knows where he'd have washed his ring.
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I'm glad they got to the bottom of it!!
76
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Partnershit track.
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Sounds like a festival to me
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This takes gross misconduct to a new level.
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Why did I waste my time?
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Probably already a partner.
Can’t see a junior getting away with that!
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Wouldnt be happy.
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I thought it would be Ashfords
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It was, by all accounts, a great night and well-organised party. Doesn't excuse going shit-crazy though.
74
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This is ROF gold.
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""He didn't seem surprised at all. It may just be what he does when he's had a few drinks", said an insider."
A beguiling glimpse into a mind that is simultaneously human and yet totally alien. Incomprehensible, unfathomable, without reason, but somehow relatable.
I imagine it's probably how people in Al'qaeda feel when they watch MTV.
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Hey hey hey there
That's how the ROF golden turd is made
Sprinkle a little gold spray paint on it and then award it to whichever insurance bucket outfit is bottom of the class
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Was it golden? Perhaps a good cultural fit for you know where…
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At least they know poo did this...
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NGL I saw a human stool in the 2nd floor urinals of TS on a recent vac scheme at the firm. Just thought this was part of the job in that you’re so busy this stuff needs to happen?
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Better Inn than out.
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It's all part of doing a good job.
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It's a good thing he wasn't filmed doing a Chicago Sunroof , or a Squat Cobbler for that matter.
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This person gives the Law Profession a bad name.
52
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Hoping he can join the C Suite soon at SGL as CPO (Chief Party Officer)
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If you talk you maintenance staff at any office block, dirty protests are quite common. Usually employees with a grudge.
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Has anyone ranked the offending item on the Bristol Scale?
Bristol stool scale - Wikipedia
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A55fords
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Doesn’t every firm have a phantom turder? #t***olyons
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Maybe the second transgression was due to a lady friend in the hotel room. Nobody likes to drop their guts in earshot or smell shot of a beautiful lady.
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He sounds like my sort of chap! Give him a peerage!
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@Jellymonster
lt was Type 4 - like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
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16th @ 10.27 - why do you want to peer at him for ages?
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pooer form
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"Has anyone ranked the offending item on the Bristol Scale?"
I've checked and it was a Level 4.
Over 70% of Bristol residents were appalled, but no statues came to harm.
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Seems like they will just log this
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Probably he does it all the time round the office, in Reception, the lifts, the partners’ dining room and other places which are out of the way