A Slater and Gordon director is in trouble for using social media to tell his enemies how much he hopes they contract cancer.
Dane Stanley, the personal injury firm's Marketing Director, reacted with fury to a journalist's observation on Twitter that no-one had died in the fire which ravaged Notre Dame cathedral. Reporter Ewan MacKenna said it was just bricks and mortar.
"You fucking bell end", Stanley told MacKenna, "It doesn't mean people can't feel passionate about it".
Stanley certainly felt passionate about it. "You were insincere in your tweetvyou [sp] cunt", he continued, asking MacKenna, "Perhaps you'd be as ambivalent if your house burned down?".
Stanley predicted that there would be no fatalities if MacKenna's house did burn down, because "You live alone you miserable lonesome shit...the most at danger is your porno stash".
He ended by raving, "If @EwanMackenna got cancer of the eyes...no one died".
Dane tends to react poorly to a lack of meeting rooms.
Just before joining Slater and Gordon, Stanley wished his signature disease on some vandals. "To the little shit(s) who broke in to my car last night”, he wrote, “I hope you get cancer of the eye balls".
Stanley isn't a fan of all cancers, though. He promoted a petition in 2014 calling on the government to fight blood cancer. Two months later, however, Northern Rail made the mistake of delaying his train.
"Ah @northernrailorg", wrote Stanley, "I have missed you like I would miss cancer of the eyeballs!"
The train operator appeared offended by Stanley’s tone, but he was unrepentant.
Sadly, running to work proved just as rage-inducing as the railway. "God damn it @GarminUK", fumed Stanley, "your software is a pile of aneurysm inducing dog shit. The person responsible for @garminconnect wants bloody killing".
Stanley did not respond to a request for comment, but if he had it would probably have featured eye cancer and screaming. A spokesman for Slater and Gordon said, "We take any form of offensive language very seriously. This is now an internal matter and we will be dealing with it accordingly."