If it’s any comfort I have colleagues with 30-something children still living with them, such is the state of the housing market in the SE…

If it helps, there are loads of profoundly disabled kids who will never be independent and will rely on their parents for their entire lives (and if their parents die first they'll be at the mercy of every abuser attracted to work in institutional care)?

Yes that does help, thanks

any time, buddy

My youngest finished primary school this year. That hit harder. 

Always hardest for the parents. The young uns don’t give a fook after the first 10 minutes 

My youngest started their last year of school this week and the oldest started work as a stage in Madrid , basically the story has got a long way to go m8, enjoy the ride

I hope you enjoy the primary school years as much as we did, they we’re definitely the simplest time in the story of us and our kids so far.

The other thing that strikes me is how short the actual school day is. By the time you’ve got home, made a cup of tea, watched the fashion segment on This Morning and then made lunch it’s time to go and get them again 

so, in short, enjoy it because they are coming home again in a minute

If it helps, some people's imaginary wives have died, and their imaginary children were left with barely a conjoined plate or a slice of supermarket bread.

seeing him go off slightly unsure with his school bag that's far too big for him

Doesn't seem 5 minutes since that was my kids. Now all of them are, in many ways, more competent at dealing with the world than I am.

All these moments are so bittersweet. I'm proud and happy for them that they are standing on their own two feet and their lives are becoming richer and their horizons ever expanding, but sad that they don't need me in the same way any more.

Yeah it's not about the actual time that we'll be away from them (in fact the half days are a nightmare), more the fact that a stage in their lives is now over and it's never coming back.  

You spend half your time with them wishing it away as they're such little bastards, willing the next stage that requires less input from you to come (god I can't wait until they're old enough to sleep properly/leave me alone for ten minutes/watch TV or play on their own/go to nursery/go to football class/go to SCHOOL) but you pour so much of yourself into them that it feels like a little piece of you dies every time they move on a step

My youngest has just reach the stage where you drop them at the gate instead of taking them into the class. For some reason that seemed really sad. Whenever I dropped her off previously (which wasn't that often tbf) she used to do this super cute (or possibly nauseating depending on your point of view, I always went for cute!) thing of going into the class and then running back out for a final hug goodbye.  No more.  She looked so uncertain setting off on her little trek from the front gate to her classroom with her giant bag.  

Mine r still m7s with the bezzies they made in reception.  Youngest goes into last year of juniors this week

This was a more organic process for us because drop off playschool starts younger, and is more like primary school, in HK. Our younger is presumably the same age as yours, OP, as she’s just starting reception class, but she’s been in full time pre school for two years.

It did occur to me just the other day that the babies/toddlers phase, where that sweet little hand is offered up to yours unquestioningly, is over, and the kids are (to quite an advanced level, with the elder) developing their own likes, dislikes, their own critique of the world and of what I say. This is the point where maintaining the relationship with your children starts to demand a bit of work. I look forward to it, but there is a sadness. And it is ofc a factor of one’s own life moving on.

My 9 year old still offers his hand up when in a new or busy place. I cherish it hard

yeah and when crossing the road

it’s sweet isn’t it

the days are long, the years are short

too short to waste them doing this shite for a living 

Took my 5 year old in for first day of second year - we’ve had some very “challenging” behaviour over the summer and I hate it when I lose my temper and shout at him but christ he can be challenging- anyway he can still be quite cute - on the way to school he said “maybe school will be closed today and you’ll have to look after me Daddy” to which I replied “that would be nice [little plum] I like looking after you because I love you” to which he replied “well I don’t love you daddy” which is a bit better than the “I hate you Daddy” which I’ve had a lot during summer tantrums. 
+1 re short day!

a bit of reverse psychology would be funny as fook: 

sonofbullace: maybe school will be closed today and you’ll have to look after me Daddy

bullace:  bluddy fooking hell I hope not sun... 

Ha.  I told my youngest at bedtime last night something like "mummy and I will always love you no matter what" and he said he loved me now, but that he didn't always love me. "Remember that time a very long time ago when I wanted my lego and mummy took it away, that was when I didn't love you and mummy so sometimes I don't love you"

No one to easily persuade to go to a water park is when it will really hit you. 

the days are long, the years are short

- where do I order the T shirt for this? bang on

I fear turning into one of those old people who tells parents of young kids in cafes and on buses "oh make sure you enjoy these years, they pass so quickly". Someone was always saying it to me while I was trying to separate siblings who were clawing each other, or trying to get the catch to release on a fold-up buggy, or mopping up juice from a cup with a popped off lid in the bottom of a bag, or.... well you get the drift.

Now, of course, the truth of it is blindingly obvious, but fvck me it's not easy to appreciate it at the time.  

Iglet 2 yet to start school.  He has recently developed a habit of waking up at 3am screaming his head off and resolutely refusing to be consoled.  Which is nice.  

Iglet 1 started his new school last Friday.  

Donny Darko’s 10.44 yep that is cute. 

Awwww. Good luck to all those kids and parents

My youngest still toddles when he runs but that's fading. Sniff. 

Twins first day back in year 2 today (teacher training day yesterday). I am glad to have a bit of routine back. 

Like Bullace, they have been rather challenging over the summer and I have not been a calm as I would like in response. They seem very excited to be back at school though and generally run off through the gate without even a backward glance. 

No doubt I will feel like eeyore when I look back on this phase in a few years but at the moment I just want them to be able to do things for themselves. 

The Last Time Poem

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.

christ roger im choked up

rodge mate, if I read that am I going to cry?

My eldest starts her first day at school tomorrow - as a teacher.

I still worry about her.

I’ve had to watch my eldest starting secondary school this week, but as a widow without his father there to see it. Since we’re discussing things that hit hard, that certainly did.

Sympathies, eugenie, that must be very hard.

The above did make me cry. It’s a deliberately maudlin way of looking at parenthood ofc but still a good emotional sense check.

The best advice I ever heard (from a very successful person nearing retirement) was: take your foot off the gas career wise when your kids are young. I did, but prob not for long enough (even tho our kids are closely spaced in age, almost exactly 2yrs apart).

TBH if you have the savings I reckon it’s a good idea for one of you to milk full mat/pat leave while the kids are under 2, and then once your elder hits that age, both quit work completely for 5 to 8 yrs or so. Then you can muck back in and mint it when you’re a tired grey old c u n t with nothing better to live for than shunting docs

Hugz eugenie, it must be tough on the both of you 

big hugs, thats tough