Probably the chef

a device for removing skin from garlic that is slower and less convenient than using a knife and your fingers.

Manual spirolizer.  I think I've used it twice.

Ha.  The only time I used a food syringe was to inject a highly noxious weedkiller into Japanese knotweed (worked a treat, too).

It's got to be the George Foreman totally pointless grill.  Yes it is cleverly designed so all the fat drains away, but the ill fitting little catching draw was lost long ago so the fat drains out all over your worktop because you forgot to put a bowl under it.

Does make a good toastie tho

Oh yes, spirolizers are pretty crap.  As are potato ricers (unless you're making gnocchi or something).

juicer

a hand juicer is fine for when one occasionally needs it for cooking

otherwise fruit should be eaten not drunk, as they say

A mandolin. The fooker slides all over the work top when I’m trying to slice veg which then end up looking like they’ve been hacked at randomly 

Mandolins are a bastard.  Best thing you can do is put some old bicycle tyre inner tube over the feet (you can glue it in place) to stop that.  Works a treat.  That's what I put underneath my whetstone when I'm sharpening knives (to prevent inadvertent finger removal).

Badders, if you've never used it how do you know it's w**k?

My most useless gadget has got to be the silicone egg poachers. I have used them and confirm they are a load of w**k.

Also juicer. I have just thrown ours (which was a wedding present) out. Great idea in theory but it was so effing difficult to clean you needed to put aside a full hour just to make a small cup of juice. No bueno. 

On the subject of iron skillets (see other thread), at the recommendation of some of you flanges I got my mum a le cruesset one a couple of xmases ago.  when filled it has roughly the weight of three blue whales.

classic rof rec tbf - something pointlessly expensive that is less good than something you could get in sainsbury's.

she gave it to my brother in law in the end on the basis he lifts bags of plaster all day and is pretty strong as a result.  on the downside, he cant cook.

Actually the sainsbos cast iron range of cookware is excellent and fraction of le creuse price. Still weighs a ton, obv.

I love my mandolin - although I admit to not bothering with the finger guard thing.

A george foreman does not a good toastie make.