What were the biggest mistakes you made as a trainee?

I fooking hated property. 

In fact, my biggest mistake as a trainee was doing my property seat early to get it out of the way, shortly before they removed the requirement to do it.

The famous CW fookup was to do with giving s client an opinion that a company whose shares it was taking security over was a limited company, rather than an unlimited one.

My fave trainee story is of an MC trainee who was the only person in the dept who didn't go on a weekend away day cos they were BM at a wedding or something.  Tasked with answering the phones after the team's lunchtime departure, our hero took a call from an irate partner in Tax.

"I need someone from your team to stay all weekend to do whitewash forms and minutes on Projet Weiner"

"No1 here sun they r on retreat and not contactable "

"Well you will have to do it then"

"No m7,I have to be at a wedding"

"Then cancel it and stay!"

"No"

"Do you not know who I am???"

"No fella, do you know who I am?"

"No"

"Well fook off then"

*hang up*

*exeunt, pursued by a bear*

I so hope this happened even tho it obv didnt

That’s actually a variation on a v old tech support story.

Up there with the cup holder (CD tray) and footpedal (mouse) stories in terms of almost certainly never having happened but amusing nonetheless.

Lady Penelope13 Nov 19 16:12

Probably drinking too much at staff parties.

--------------------------

Didn't we all?

Two here;

1. missed a trial. Actually got away with that remarkably lightly, considering. Made application to set aside judgment . Judge said "I'd imagine you've been thoroughly bollocked already?". Done.

2. Trusted my co-trainees to check my post while on honeymoon. Bad decision. Useless feckers, the lot of them.

3.5: snogged someone who worked at a client, on a work do. Didn't get in trouble for that one, but found out later that I was NEARLY in serious trouble. 

so nothing too bad, really.

This isn't a mistake - it's one of my proudest moments -

I was at BIGBALLS CLIENT INC. for a meeting.  When there was in reception and the phone rang.  I overheard the receptionist taking it:

Uhm, yes,  and your name?  Ok, Stephen Collins, calling for Sarah Wilson, okay, Stephen - i'll let her know.

Steve was my fellow trainee in the same team, and I knew that he thought Sarah was quite hot.  Steve was way too shy to ever admit that to her. 

I switched my mobile to "number withheld" and called Steve.

*gruff voice*

Hello is that Mr Collins? This is Mr James BIGBALLS, CEO of BIGBALLS CLIENT INC.  I understand you've tried to contact Ms Wilson in my team?  Yes, well I understand that she feels exceptionally uncomfortable around you.  Is it true that you had an erection when you were here for a meeting last Tuesday?  No?  WELL SHE SAID YOU DID, AND I TAKE HER WORD OVER THE WORD OF A PERVERT.  DO NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN, YOU fookING PERVERT! AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?

Oh god, the drinking at work events/parties. I wish I could put all those memories in a Viking Longboat, set in on fire and push it down the Humber. 

 

I couldn't get over the fact that it was all free. It didn't occur to me that these people ARE NOT your friends. 

Giving too much of a shit

Trying to do too much of a good job

Not realising how much money there was to be made in low level commoditised legal work and instead thinking that working on matters with more 00000s involved, meant something 

 

 

3 for a tenner wine and  all you can eat walkers crisps and  hulahoops, all balanced precariously on a photocopier. 

 

But the pay off - disgruntled secretary screaming at the department head, before stopping to vom into a recycling bin, then carry on - was always worth it. 

told an ip that we were selling on what we were about to buy from him 10 mins later at a 5x multiple (talked him around)

lost a consent order 

had a long affair with a seccie

didn't bone a colleague who was up for it

didn't ask for more freebies from football clients

gave a shyt 

 

Advising a client to do a moonlit flit to escape their landlord who was threatening to forfeit their lease and seize their assets without getting a forwarding address so I could send them my bill.

Re work fvckups, filed some whitewash resolutions late, had no legal effect but the cvnts on the other side were cvnts about it and insisted on getting an opinion to that effect at our cost. My MP was very good about the whole thing tbf. 

That being said, he did once wander in the office with a smug look on his face, dig a several year old mortgage document out of the back of a drawer and asked me to shred it, saying that he had forgotten entirely to file it at the time. It had that day just been paid off. 

i have a lot of issues with that guy but he did teach me quite how far it is possible to go with the low cunning of a weasel. 

I don't really know anyone who damaged their career with a drinking incident, at least not by alienating colleagues. English culture, as I have explained to Americans numerous times, is far more inclined to forgive social errors and other mistakes made in drunkenness than in other circumstances. And when you consider how many people have positively advanced their careers through drunken bonding, I think that from a pure career effect perspective, workplace drinking makes sense.

What I found intolerable was the feelings of shame and self disgust. Oh and always losing a third of the weekend to a hangover.

I have known:

One lawyer getting a round for a group of workmates empty the beer out of one glass and piss into it, then present the round, handing the pint of fresh piss to an unpopular senior (non partner) guy who ofc immediately felt it was warm - his face must have been a picture.

A drunken trainee chunder on a neatly layed out splay of signed original documents after returning back to the office after a boozy lunch.

One junior giving another a BJ on a settee in a public bar during a work sponsored drinks.

No career detriment in any of the above cases.

 

I am not sure I was trainee, but I used to volunteer in a Legal advice place. Fella came in about a domestic issue with his wife. With whom he was still living. So I took his sheaf of papers and photocopied them. It was only later that I noticed many of them had no heading etc. I then realised they were client copies. He had taken and presented to me letters written from his wife's solicitors to her.

Fvck.

I actually phoned the Law Society help line. They told me to find out if she consented to disclosure. I did make contact (through her solicitors) and she said (almost literally) "Consent? Go ahead. I stand by every word. I want it all spread far and wide. So you know what a khunt he is."