You have really got your happy hat on today haven’t you?

I am about a "reading enviously about that guy who cut his own throat with a coconut knife" on the scale

You think you’ve got it bad?

I unwisely gave some mackerel fillets to the dog for lunch, he is now stretched out over me, fast asleep, releasing eggy farts.

I am about to banish him but he will give me those “but I didn’t do nuffink!” Cute puppy eyes.

At my old shop they would record it without telling you, which was pretty annoying if you had been in any way candid during the session.

That said lots of advice given to banks and other FIs is done so on a recorded line. 

same thing happened to me on the casting couch

‘Yes that’s fine. The charge for each reuse is 50%. With a deposit of minimum ten reuses paid in advance. I can take cash or a cheque, or a personal IOU signed by you . Ok . Let’s go.’

you could have just pouted 

Can't you just make some vague objections about risk clearance, etc.?

Rhamnousia - was that Clive of India?