Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice, Alex Chalk said:

No-one should be afraid of what they or their children might see online so our reforms will make the internet a safer place for everyone.

i feel safer already

channels BREXITBREXIT 

"ALL CHILDREN SHOULD BE SHOWN PENISES EVERY TIME THEY GO ONTO THE INTERNET. THAT WILL STOP THEM SPENDING SO MUCH TIME ON SCREENS AND MAKE THEM GO OUTSIDE AND POO IN THE RIVERS.....

VOTE TORY

VACCINES BAD!"

Imagine parents just didn't give their kids smartphones

Imagine!

In all seriousness I think ROF is going to have to do passport checks now

i was afraid of what i might see online. now, i'm not. thank you government

YES THE PARENTS ARE ASKING FOR THEIR KIDS TO BE EXPOSED TO ADULT MATERIAL. IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT THE FAULT OF PAEDOS! KIDS SHOULD BE OUTSIDE POOING IN THE RIVERS ANS AVOIDING BASIC MEDICAL PROVISION!!!!!

Terrible law, but the weirdest part of this to me is how the Tories seem unable to think through who they're handing these powers to. 

Cool, you've handed a load of new powers to the incoming Labour government. Are they going to do particularly Tory things with it?

And you've also handed loads of power to quangos. Quangos: organisations famous for employing people who are deeply Tory and sympathetic to Tory positions. Definitely they'll be enforcing this in the ways you intended. 

does this give the government access to the type of prawn I watch?  Do I now need to give my passport to PH?

oppressing the disgusting suicide coaches of the internet seems a good idea, those guys should do serious bird

less sure about the rest, probably won’t be very effective tbh

most content is served from outside the u.k. and many platforms have a vestigial corporate presence here if any 

So the gov has never heard of a VPN then

Well, laz, one downside is that people who are at the end of their lives in intolerable suffering (increasing numbers given demographics) will not be able to access information to safely end their lives.

You might think suicide is always wrong but even then this will definitely limit access to therapeutic discussions about it. Ditto eating disorders etc.

Who decides what is harmful and what is supportive? Maybe better if kids just stayed off the fooking internet.

Wombats - likely to become necessary to access a lot of sites from the UK, I imagine 

the government has heard of VPNs hence (among other reasons) this being targeted at site owners not users, in the main

“Well, laz, one downside is that people who are at the end of their lives in intolerable suffering (increasing numbers given demographics) will not be able to access information to safely end their lives.”

Oh yeah because the internet is famously and reliably a place to find safe and accurate matters on twilight issues

“Who decides what is harmful and what is supportive?”

the people who make laws as in literally all areas of all human societies 

We are going to end up with a shit Brit version of Instagram aren't we. What will it be called? JollyRoid or sthg

Instagram is bogshite anyway, they literally couldn’t make it worse if they tried

better dig out those old Victorian post cards... holy crap those women are hairy!

I know surprisingly little about this.

Isn't there a new offence which is something like 'sending a communication with the intent of causing the recipient psychological harm'?

This will be fun when people start reporting each-other to the Police for mildly offensive comments on social media.

How can the U.K. government do anything to websites which generally are hosted overseas? 

It was enacted.