Sailo

how tall are you?

oh that is a shame.  I was at a lunch on Saturday and there was a lovely girl there who is single and dead keen on single, but she is just shy of 6 foot and won't date anyone shorter than her.

Amazing how women get away with this sort of superficiality, if a bloke had posted requesting a rofettes vital statistics to ensure they meet a m7s minimum standards for dating there would be all hell to pay...

if a bloke had posted requesting a rofettes vital statistics to ensure they meet a m7s minimum standards for dating there would be all hell to pay...

heh, yeah. "what's your cup size? oh that's a shame..."

Ahaha - there are definitely dating profiles where the 5’2 woman says she wants to only date someone over 6’0. 
 

I don’t mind it - least you know where you stand (on a small ladder) early on.

 

I am taller than most of the men I've dated. Not unusual if you're a tall woman. I think you dodge a bullet by not meeting their criteria if that's what matters.

the height thing is not the same as asking about boob size, ffs. 
 

I mean, it’s not a million miles off. Both are totally arbitrary physical characteristics that some people seem to find extremely important in choosing a partner. And it is true that it’s socially acceptable to talk about one but not the other.

Look everyone has particularly physical characteristics they like in partners 

But it's how you voice them 

Saying 'i won't date them because they have XYZ' is not nice but saying 'i won't date them because I am not interested in them' is much better 

Be kind peeps

Both are totally arbitrary physical characteristics that some people seem to find extremely important in choosing a partner.

They're far from arbitrary.  Height is a kind of subliminal shorthand for physical ability and success (CEOs apparently tend to be taller than average), and boobs - well, 'nuff said.  

One is a heck of a lot easier to change, via the assistance of chaps in your profession, than the other though.  

They’re arbitrary in the sense that they are given due to random chance and you’re not going to be able to change them without surgical intervention. Being good-looking is also associated with success but I think it would be considered socially unacceptable to openly discuss your “no uglies” rule.

Wasn’t there some creepy trend of people having their legs lengthened by some procedure that is probably too gruesome for me to look up

think it was a bit of an incel thing tbf, like the people who hit themselves in the face with hammers

Breast size in women and height in men are comparable.  They are both physical attributes that tend to be significant factor in determining attractiveness to the opposite sex.   I don't see how a woman ruling out a man on grounds of height is any different from a man ruling out a woman based on breast size.

I suppose it is possible that this woman feels self conscious about her own height so feels uncomfortable about herself when with somebody shorter which would I guess be a bit different - although still a bit fooked up.

there was a lovely girl there who is single and dead keen on [sailing], but she is just shy of 6 foot and won't date anyone shorter than her.

Mention that Sailo did the Whitbread, or whatever it was - might change her opinion quick smart. 

Mark Cavendish - not saying Sailo is quite that level in his chosen sport, FAOD - doesn't make six feet either, nor did plenty of others.  

To be honest I'm not really into tall er women so happy to pass.

All judgements on physical characteristics are annoying because most of them are genetically determined so can't easily be changed.

Fence a number of people have had their legs broken and then break slowly stretched apart as it heals so that they end up taller.  Generally done by people trying to get into professions with minimum height requirements like being an air steward.

Hemingway once described one of his female characters as having lines like a racing yacht, or something similar.  I much prefer motorboating (fnarr) but can appreciate that description, as I'm sure Sailo, being much more versed in the ways of rope and canvas, can.  

"she goes like a Viper 640 in a Force 5..."

Asking for a cup size isn't the same as asking someone's height. Lots of people choose to list their height on a dating profile. I don't think as many choose to list their bra size, although some women might but asking for cup size on a message would be more akin to asking a man's crotch size, which would also not be acceptable as asking would no doubt elicit the dreaded dick pics and no one wants those (why men believe anyone would want to receive one from a stranger will remain one of life's unanswerable questions).

Height, like general weight/ size, is seen by everyone, not just someone you choose to get intimate with. I was recently asked my bra size by a successful Dr, aged 48. He said it because he "was very fussy"..just like most women are fussy enough not to want a man who sends a message like that like some horny teenager. Needless to say I didn't oblige. Also, general size of bra, just like any other clothes, should be pretty obvious from any photos. I doubt most people are queezed into spanx/ wearing stilts in their photos just to fool the masses.

Asking for a cup size isn't the same as asking someone's height. Lots of people choose to list their height on a dating profile. I don't think as many choose to list their bra size

Yes, one is a socially acceptable basis to choose partners and one isn't, like I said. Not sure why they are very different apart from that though.

PP, I am sorry I don't see the distinction at all.   Height is important to lots of women when looking for a partner but they never get called on in the way men do if they confess to female physical attributes being important to them. (this is not bitterness I am 6ft 2)  If you rule out somebody because of physical attribute (or lack of) its exactly the same thing whether it is height, breast size or whatever.

Here is a classic example from my browsing this morning:

"I like tall guys (6' 2) and up.  I'm a height supremacist, sorry to all the short kings out there"

Should I announce I'm a nork supremacist?

I think the closest equivalent is asking how much they weigh. And even then I don't think that's as bad, as anyone can change their weight should they wish. 

I wonder how often these people with strict 'requirements' or preferences end up either staying alone or letting go of them as they grow older. Let's face it, 90% of men is shorter than 6ft (if not a higher percentage) and 90% of boobs are "just not as pert as they used to be'. But a lot of these shortarses and flabby boobs still end up finding a partner. What gives?

Aka all this superficial stuff is just a load of bullsh*t.

Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size. Not on a date or when you're flirting with someone but asking a stranger. On your first message as part of your "wheedling out" criteria. FFS we are not 13!!

Also, women can lie about cup size just as much as all those men who say they are "5, 8" turn up and are my height. I'm 5,3 sans heels. 

The dating world is absolutely screwed.

Thank you Buzz. Ther eis nothing appealing, attractive or gentlemanly than being asked what your bra size is. About as attractive as the guy who texted me recently to ask if there would be any sechsual activity on our next date. Er I'll pass thanks. It's just bizarre. Surely men know one surefire way not to get sechs is to assume you're getting it/ asking for it.

Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size‘
 

dont think anyone here is saying it’s normal are they? Just pointing out that being arbitrary about height is not massively dissimilar to being arbitrary about cup size (for example)

Sails lots of men also mention physical criteria in their profiles - "only like brunettes" is perhaps the most common one I see or "curvy women only".

It's relatively easy to change ones hair colour and even boob size. It's far more difficult to permanently change your height. 

It's crass to express a preference for either boob size in a woman or height in a man.  (Although as a group, men perpetuate heightism by listing their height in the first place. Stop pandering.)

Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?

‘Do men actually dismiss a woman who has smaller-than-preferred boobs as a potential match, to the extent that women seem to dismiss shorter-than-ideal men?‘

probably, although voicing the former is much less socially acceptable than voicing the latter

Sizzlers it's completely different. As I said above it's more akin to asking crotch size. Judo and I will remain in the camp where it's pathetic of a grown adult man to ask a women he's never met what her bra size is. Zac G would never do this I'm sure.

Judo and I will remain in the camp where it's pathetic of a grown adult man to ask a women he's never met what her bra size is.

If a man were to do that, he should be dismissed regardless of height. Did someone actually say this was okay, or is this a straw man you've concocted? 

PP - you keep missing the point - it is not about what is socially acceptable but the principle of the thing.

Height can be a huge thing for men just as certain physical issues are for women- asking somebody their height and then saying oh soz I know a great girl but you are too short for her is crass and potentially hurtful  if men behave a similar way they get called for it.  (Not worried about sails specifically mind he seems pretty robust) 

Really surprised by the number of people on here so think it's "normal" to ask a woman her cup size.

really surprised that you've managed to draw this from any of the posts here

Sizzler most apps require you fill in your height or choose extra options to get round doing that so it's more a case of path of lease resistance than an active choice.

I've certainly dismissed potential matches because it's been clear from photos that there are elements that I would not find attractive.

I am entirely happy being average height and would probably not be attracted to Judo's acquaintance because of her height.  I'm still traumatised from a teenage incident where a girl who was much taller than me picked me up and carried me to a dance floor when I declined her request to dance with her.

everyone has preferences but going around saying things like "oh i cannot possibly ever date someone below 6'2" is just juvenile, and men who said similar things would rightly be described as shallow

Pretty much.  I didn't really grow until well into my teens so age 13 I was still 4' 8" and so many of the girls in my class were up to a foot taller and they'd look at my little shoes and tell me how sweet they were.

I was very awkward as a tall girl in my teens, and I suspect if I was online dating now, some men would rule me out as too tall. That's ok because I am too tall really. Requiring 6'2 in a man though, which is way taller than average, is odd. I know why they're single, and it's not because there are no decent men.

I have never picked up and carried a man to the dancefloor, for the avoidance of doubt.

Guy the point has not been missed at all and the principle is well and truly seen. I havent said it's a Good Thing that men be dimissed on height but asking someone's height is not, as several peopel have pointed out, quite the same thing as asking someone's bra size and the "being called out" is different. Otherwise bra size would be a box to tick in the same way body shape/ height is. People dismiss people for all sorts physical reasons and that's human nature but you dont need to actually message to ask about any of these things. People can look at photos and make their own judgments.

Sizzlers - it';s in the posts above - aged 48 "successful professional Dr" in his own words messaged asking bra size so he didn't waste his time on anyone who didnt (literallly) fit his image of the perfect woman/ one he was worthy of. Got uppity when I didnt reply then said "ooh you must be an A then". Not a great loss.

My dad caught it on home video too so it has been replayed many times over the years.

I've seen plenty on dating apps either specifying tall men or a specific height or just providing their own height and requiring taller than that.

Lovely although "slim" is a subjective concept isn't it? Would that include Classic Dad Bod? I hate hate hate all these stipulations. Whatever happened to - she's fit, in a bar, I'll go and chat her up. Bring it back!! 

Setting criteria on a dating app (you have to narrow the field in some way) is really quite different from what happened above - "here is somebody I think you would really get on with but you are not tall enough so she will not consider it".   Forget bra size if t muddies the water.  Supposing Sails had posted "hey judy (or any other rofette) how much do you weigh?"  and Judy had responded "75kg" (number purely arbitrary) and Sails had said "shame I have a mate who you would really get on with and shares your interests but he will not date women over 65kg".   This would have been seen as completely unacceptable.

asking for cup size on a message would be more akin to asking a man's crotch size

sorry to be pedantic on a lawyers board but it would be more akin to asking for details re depth of fannoir

Guy I don't think it would be "unacceptable" - not very nice certainly but, again, weight, is a preference for some - see the comments on not fancying a bag of bones/ only liking brunettes (so hairist) par example. Sails, I cant think of any redhead lovelies but will have a think! I do have a hugely successful and attractive divorcee (dark blonde) who has absolutely no interest in marriage again or kids who might float your sailboat, however.

My physical ideal is a man who looks like he could have rickets, no muscle, and long emo hair. I am with a lovely man who has a beer belly, is the same height as me when I wear my five inch heels, and has been bald for years. I still find him gorgeous