I just met a guy for a drink. It was going ok, he was nice enough but I didn't fancy him. He asked whether I fancied him and I said I was enjoying his company but didn't see him as more than a friend.
He then sat there and had a conversation with me for 10 minutes about how this always happens to him, whilst crying. Tears down face. It's you. No, it's not you, it's me. I never said you were to blame.... AAAGGHH
But apparently I am "mesmerising" and "stunning" so that's all ok. And I'm totally up for having one of these things around all the time.
0
0
Hah. He sounds mint.
0
0
By 'things' do you mean him... ...a bit harsh?
0
0
Sorry about that.
0
0
No Fluffs, I mean men
0
0
He wasn't northern, Chimpo, but apology accepted
0
0
I could probably have guessed that - Northerners would save the crying for at home.
0
0
I thought you had given up on dating?
0
0
Name and shame this wet
0
0
Oh men...
...meh, the labrador of the human species. Doleful, like rolling in (metaphorical) shit, eat every meal like it was their last and their fu*kin' hair gets everywhere.
0
0
ML, I'm half northern, I've cancelled my subscription but they won't let me out for a couple of months...
0
0
Haha. In that case, happy shagging
0
0
Keep your rabbit safe
0
0
I will never shag again
0
0
Haha.
It was herbie wasn’t it.
Laz m7 own up.
0
0
He was a bit shorter than me in my heels, but not unattractive to look at.
0
0
Definitely herbie.
0
0
Describe heels
0
0
I had one like that once. Christ online dating sucks.
0
0
Find something you’re passionate about and get involved with a group that does that, at least you’ll already have something in common.
0
0
Pic sent ML xxx
0
0
Back in 5
0
0
Heh. Just heh.
0
0
I know
0
0
who the holy fook goes dating in this era of the coronavirus? Jesus Christ he could have been to Tenerife or anything.
0
0
Women becoming nuns hits 25-year high
The number of women becoming nuns has reached a 25-year high, according to the Catholic Church in England and Wales.
0
0
(Or maybe he just got back from Hong Kong briefly).
0
0
heh @ OMoH
0
0
Bless you Laz
0
0
Who asks someone whether they fancy them??
lucky escape block him
0
0
Yes, I know Hools thank you.
0
0
"Not any more!"
0
0
Needy as fook people. If you don’t get a snog out of it then she doesn’t fancy you.
0
0
Err surely, in need of a fook people. If you don’t get a shag out of it then she doesn’t fancy you.
0
0
Or you haven't put enough in her drink, eh Tecco?
0
0
Stix - it’s like you’re inside my head sometimes. Dark.
0
0
As long as you're not inside any part of me I won't care.
0
0
Tbf I feel quite sorry for you at the moment stixta.
Dr Proudman got called stunning and she built an entire career out of it. You can’t even get a cheeky tun!
#pray4stick
0
0
Charming!
0
0
#hopesandprayers
0
0
#prayforstixtashecollectstears
0
0
Several of them do ask but tend to try and do it in a roundabout way. And then don't cry.
I think I've had two cryers. The one that started talking about his *first* suicide attempt (sure, we all have our demons, but on a first date??) was particularly special.
I hope he at least bought the drinks after that performance stix?
0
0
I’m guessing el sticko didn’t hang around for another drink after his gazza impression
0
0
#kickinballsformanipulatingmen
0
0
Yes, I owe him a beer if we're going with my rules, but I think putting up with it and showing him where the station is negates everything.
As I said, I'm done with this shit.
0
0
Oh do piss off, we agreed a truce.
0
0
Eh? I wasn’t being rude!
0
0
What Hools said ffs.
0
0
Is cryers a thing? fooking hell
0
0
If it is I didn't know it. I found it very weird.
0
0
It’s a curveball and no mistake
0
0
Don’t let it put you off dating for good.
Even as a cryer myself, I at least wait for the bus journey home
0
0
As others have said, this sort of behaviour would never happen up north.
0
0
I think it is best if I just leave everything alone.
0
0
I'm half Yorkshire
0
0
Don't tell Chambers
0
0
It’ll be reet
0
0
Cheers lad
0
0
What the actual fook!
Tell me you at least accidentally kicked him in the plums or rombo'd his banjo before the tears?
0
0
No, I walked him back to the station.
Y?
0
0
This is why I tell the younglings:
you must learn some game.
0
0
how dare this guy share his problems or concerns with you, OP! Awful. I can understand your affront at having to deal with the fact that other humans have feelings.
0
0
Herbie’s clearly a cryer
0
0
Sorry for everyone involved - Stix obviously for having to deal with him, him for being in such a state that he behaves in that fashion. He's not to blame for whatever is in his head that makes him that needy, so deserves sympathy for that, but he sure should take responsibility for how he acts as a result of it. No doubt he feels massive shame for his performance which will push him further along the downward spiral, hope he can break out of it and resolve whatever is causing his dependency issues, but that of course is up to him.
0
0
I thought "rombo'd his banjo" would get a heh
0
0
Stix you rocked up to a date in just your heels?
0
0
Where is our Friday wang challenge???
0
0
since when did having an ordinary conversation in the first meet turn into an emotional roller coaster at par with death in the family!
0
0
btw re heels - surely with those stickers must be hovering over him? unless he was a big burly lad...who was into crying
0
0
He sounds more like son of jayerz than son of chambo in the old height department.
0
0
just curious - at what age does "fancying" somebody stop being a deal breaker? I don't how old you are Stix but if you are typical roffer age I would have thought personality was far more important (although granted that would seem to leave a lot to be desired in this case too).
0
0
There still has to be some attraction, of some kind, even just some chemistry which makes you fancy someone. It’s not purely about looks m6.
0
0
Although to be fair stix is not at all bad looking.
For a girl.
0
0
sounds like the chap was on the edge... and he should give online dating a rest for a while.
0
0
or what warren more eloquently said
0
0
He was perfectly fine looks wise, nice enough personality (until the crying), and would probably have been taller than me if I was in flats, I just didn't feel any chemistry. I'm 41, I don't think I should give up on attraction just yet. The guy clearly wasn't ready to move on post-divorce.
But I am coming to the conclusion that all single men of an appropriate age are broken and I'm better off alone.
0
0
Don't give up Stix, im sure there are some decent single blokes out there.
Sounds like bullet dodged in any event
0
0
Or just shag single men of an inappropriate age on the understanding that they’re probably going to stop talking to you when they meet a more age appropriate alternative.
It’s shallow but it scratches an itch and gives you a bit of company sometimes. That’s my take on it anyway but, you know, with women instead.
0
0
Yes humane response from Warren.
0
0
Any single woman over 35 and single man over 40 will have a reason why they are single. Some of those reasons will be dealbreakers but others may be resolvable. That's the challenge.
0
0
"its you, not me"
0
0
Stix - quick question. Is there any reason I've not yet been balls deep in you?
0
0
I wonder how long before LA turns up here...
0
0
Fair enough Stix, I just think that rejecting somebody for lack of immediate "chemistry" once you hit your 40s if they look ok and you like their personality may be a mistake (not in this case granted as it caused him to show a personality you probably don't want to date).
0
0
Your opinion has been noted and dismissed
0
0
good call
0
0
I know nothing about your age and relationship status, Guy, but are you really suggesting a woman in her early 40s should settle for a bloke where there's no chemistry because he's ok looking and has a decent personality? I appreciate there is a lot to LTRs other than sex, but [for most people] sexual attraction has to be there somewhere along the line. And the age of the protagonists has little or nothing to do with it.
0
0
*opens popcorn
0
0
No I am suggesting that people of both sexes in middle aged may be better off considering wider factors rather than dismissing somebody for lack of immediate chemistry if they are looking for a partner (if just looking for a shag of course - fair enough). But each to their own on matters like this I guess
0
0
There needs to be some kind of chemistry tho - a spark, a meeting of minds. Even if it's not sexual - I know several perfectly nice men I could never ever ever be attracted to. I'm sure they feel the same about me.
0
0
I agree that sexual compatibility is very important but I think that's the case at any age
0
0
I agree, there has to be something. If she's not the kind of woman I would notice in the street, it wouldn't work, although that is no guarantee it would work. I'd better hope I never get divorced or widowed then as I very much doubt I notice women my age these days. Although I do look good for my age, I never looked that good at any age, so I would likely end up perp single.
0
0
Linda there does need to be a spark I agree but it is not always immediately apparent - particularly in a blind date scenario when ironically many people are at their least confident and most awkward and therefore least sexy. I would say if you otherwise like somebody and don’t find them actively unattractive it is generally worth giving more time than a date or two
0
0
Ok, well that's different, but I don't think people go from NFW on date 1 to ohgodyeh on date 3.
0
0
I'm with AWU on this. If it's not hell yes, it's god no.
and continuing to go on desultory dates with someone because they're "nice" is not good for anyone involved
0
0
"No I am suggesting that people of both sexes in middle aged may be better off considering wider factors rather than dismissing somebody for lack of immediate chemistry if they are looking for a partner (if just looking for a shag of course - fair enough). But each to their own on matters like this I guess"
Hank m7, you really gonna have to work on the whole pity shag pitch. "Settle for me, I'm festively plump" is not gong to have the ladies rushing to change into their fancy knickers.
0
0
I struggle generally to find the enthusiasm for a first date so if you I don't feel an attraction I'm definitely not bothering with a second or third date. Certainly though I've met people where I haven't been sure what I think after the first date so I've gone for a second to make my mind up.
0
0
Heh @ Wang
0
0
a perfectly normal human being28 Feb 20 01:45
Reply |
Report
how dare this guy share his problems or concerns with you, OP! Awful. I can understand your affront at having to deal with the fact that other humans have feelings.
Nice to see Laz sticking up for his fellow melt there.
Stix - think how worse it could have been. What if he'd starting ranting on about how he was going to "boss" various improbable careers and sports due to his "word class" MBA?
0
0
I am coming to the conclusion that all single men of an appropriate age are broken...
Preach. Although I think a fair amount of the problem is a lot of them are chasing younger skirt. And also completely agree that continuing to go on desultory dates with someone because they're nice is ill-advised. If I'm not sure after the first encounter, I agree to meet twice and tend to avoid drinking much on the second date just to ensure judgment not clouded. I have yet to find the chap more appealing on the second attempt, if anything it's the other way round. I think chemistry is a tricky thing to pin down. Certainly it's not just about looks but neither is it all about complimentary personalities. There are people who I think are perfectly good looking and have decent personalities but do absolutely nothing for me. There are also those who are not that conventionally attractive and have objectively quite challenging personalities but have turned my head nevertheless. What I will say is that early 40s seems to be a very difficult time to find decent men on online dating platforms. Lots to pick from in their early 30s and early 50s but big age difference either way doesn't really appeal.
0
0
Exactly this ^
Join the discussion