It's OK though, he's got a plan to rescue me from this existential hell with his football career.  He's quite clear that we'll have to move to Liverpool but I'm down.

Heh! The boy has a point. Fingers crossed for the football career! 

bless him. out of the mouths of babes... 

My 22 year old son really triggered my fury the other day when I went into autopilot about a woolly answer to an apparent work commitment in his diary, and I x-examined the bluster I was getting. He said "don't shit yourself, counsel, it's not a fvcking investigation and nobody's paying you for this".

Ouch.  Bastard.

I dread the day when they're sharper and more sarcastic than me muttley.  Dread it.  At that point I'll have to rely on the mutually-understood-but-never-expressed fact that I could still beat them up if I had to.  When that goes, it's game over.

the answer is "because all human life is toil and this is just about the sweetest toil to pound ration out there, kid, come back to me after you've been a chartered surveyor for 10 years"

this is just about the sweetest toil to pound ration out there

Totes agree with this 

If my kid wants to play for Liverpool I will have failed as a father and a human 

mine could beat me to a pulp, though my body fat could absorb some of the early blows to his surprise

Q: *completely deadpan serious* Daddy why would you do this forever?

A: For the dolla.  Now get out and do your paper round.  

That is so sweet. They are so cute at that age (not that my 24 year olds are not lovely of course....... and I won't even start on the wonderfulness of grandchildren...)

And this is the office where mummydaddy is a total khunt to their colleagues so that you can go to a posh school and have three foreign holidays a year. 

My dad used to tell the tale of when I was young enough that the adults felt safe to talk over my head. They were all amused when I piped up (a propos of their discussion):

"I don't understand. If people don't want to have babies, why don't they just not have sex?"