Have you recovered from the really bad Aids you had about a week ago?

Concerningly, not. 

It’s got a bit complicated.

But thanks for your enquiry Gwenners, and I’m sure I will bounce back any minute and be as unfunny as I used to be. 

All you need is love, by the way.

Love is all you need. 

Sorry mutters, it’s still not gone and has become more complicated?

Much as we clash (jokingly mostly on my part, I have a great deal of real respect for you) on Rof, I do hope things can get sorted old fruit, life wouldn’t be quite the same without you in tip top condition.

Hope things get fixed in good time but if lifestyle changes are required, well, just remember we shall all be here to take the piss.

Yes, good luck with it all and if you need anything lots of us would be happy to help.


I am not sure all we need is love is true really - look at the mess that seems to get a lot of people into 9 Boris Johnson and plenty of others. Perhaps putting duty before love can be best in life.

I agree that duty before most things but love for your fellow human is the only sustainable way to continue until death.

Duty first is very noble but many mistake this for a martyr-style stoicism that is fundamentally quite unhealthy.  

I remember studying Jabberwocky at school.  Some academic suggested vorpal (as in vorpal blade going snicker snack) stood for valour over revenge pride and love.

I realise this is probably not going to cure your bad aids.

I think that academic was reading far too much into it, tbh.

It's one of my favourite poems for just that reason Dusty.  One where, even though the author confessed it was a load of gibberish, boffins continue to try and give it meaning (and I sort of weirdly agree with them - I think one's brain just creates the story).

That song always reminds me of this ghastliness, and so has the opposite effect on me , Mutters.


Image result for tony blair millennium dome

Duty leads to the concept of honour.

As I am a living demonstration, honour leads to suffering.

Bit adapted from a Yoda saying but it’s true.  Get well for you mutters, fuck the rest, it really isn’t worthwhile.

Sorry to hear this Mutters.

Much as I am sure you would like to bounce back quickly, please don't rush yourself. You need to take time to recover properly. The world of commerce can wait. The bees at al need you to be well, as indeed do we.


Also, you reckon that’s the face that Cherie makes when he takes her like an animal?

Youve read it now, you can’t unread it.  And yes, you’re going to look back at that photo you deviant.


I'm at work.

The bees are doing fine. I watched the hives on the weekend when I was cutting the meadow grass around them.  I saw a lot of attempted raids by wasps. Those bastards are fearless. However, when they arrive with a smack on the flight board there is a really powerful reaction. About 20 workers bundled on even before the wasp's wings had stopped flapping.  First up they bit the wings off, then they jumped on and fought the fucker and bit the head from the thorax, then threw the bits off the hive into the grass. Remarkably resolute.  

Mutters old bean, I appreciate the eat what kill virtue of your role however there does come a quite important point where you may need to take some time away and concentrate on what’s important.

I beelive (geddit?) That you will have made enough money to live on at this point.  I have friends far younger and less high profile/successful than you who had certainly done so.

Obviously ongoing instructions are one thing but I do hope that you’ve considered just taking a year or so out of things and enjoying yourself with your partner of choice to relax and consider prior to returning.  

Perhaps consider a spell in the judiciary? I suspect they’d welcome you with open arms.

Serves the [email protected]#$%&ds right.

Surprised you are at work but you know best.  Try to take it easy as much as poss.

Says she as she lies on the sofa because today Is a bad day.

my world is not an eat what you kill one.  This is not about money.


Perhaps consider a spell in the judiciary? I suspect they’d welcome you with open arms.


Like being held in some sort of mental institution for eternity.  Fishcakes with the other DJs on a Friday, regarded by them all as the height of job satisfaction in the week. Being let down by court staff and litigating parties/the CPS. Generally non-effective hearings where disputes over things less interesting than what misses the editorial cut on Judge Rinder, or petty muggers and drug dealers. A load of work and a lot of pressure, for absolutely cock all (yeah, thinking about it, it is all about the money so fuck that), and the Justice Secretary and all his/her munchkins to account to.  Evaluation after evaluation, course after course, assessment by uncivil servants on your appeal rates and your political correctness quotient. Little brown envelopes saying the Lord Chancellor is a bit peeved that you used the word "WANKER" to describe a person in your court who was certainly a wanker.