So if you will allow me to create a hypothetical situation where the woman in question is a successful, independent feminist in every other aspect except asking permission and the love between the young couple is genuine and likely to last.
Would you advise the man to nut up and find another partner if it isn't too late?
To be fair it was probably an early indicator that she wasn’t prepared to stand up to her father. And she still struggles now to be honest. But that’s his fault as an overbearing twot of a human being who dominated her through childhood and tries to do the same during adulthood, rather than Mrs Stamp’s. And Mrs Stamp’s desire for an easy life over conflict with her family.
I’d still have married her knowing this though, because I love her. And she can’t choose her parents
So if you will allow me to create a hypothetical situation where the woman in question is a successful, independent feminist in every other aspect except asking permission and the love between the young couple is genuine and likely to last.
If she's a successful independent feminist then it's definitely worth a conversation about why she wants him to do something so incredibly unfeminist.
(PS I was 18. I think the highbrow feminism counter-proposal is a bit lofty)
I suspect it is different if you marry young.
As Clergs said on another thread, people who marry young seem to be far more traditional and socially conservative than people who marry later and whose brains have had a few more years to develop.
I probably would have accepted a lot more of the sexist trappings of marriage if I'd got married at 25 compared to getting married in my early 30s.
I have no ishoo with the fact people (including me) do stuff they don't really believe in for a quiet life.
the problem is this can create an expectation from wider family that you will continue to do so, and that they have some kind of say in stuff that is rightly between a couple
"He could, however, have an adult conversation with his potential wife and make a feminist case for her making her own decision and informing her father of it afterwards."
Point of order it wasn't me who said the married young thing (I am confident cos I don't think that - I think there's evidence that people who marry younger often have more successful marriages in the long run)
Also that sounds like a logical fallacy given the pressure in socially conservative communities to marry young
Maybe not that their brains are undeveloped but they've had less time to think about what an odd thing to do, say, changing your name is, and more time to reflect on why people actually do it. For example.
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So if you will allow me to create a hypothetical situation where the woman in question is a successful, independent feminist in every other aspect except asking permission and the love between the young couple is genuine and likely to last.
Would you advise the man to nut up and find another partner if it isn't too late?
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To be fair it was probably an early indicator that she wasn’t prepared to stand up to her father. And she still struggles now to be honest. But that’s his fault as an overbearing twot of a human being who dominated her through childhood and tries to do the same during adulthood, rather than Mrs Stamp’s. And Mrs Stamp’s desire for an easy life over conflict with her family.
I’d still have married her knowing this though, because I love her. And she can’t choose her parents
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(PS I was 18. I think the highbrow feminism counter-proposal is a bit lofty)
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If she's a successful independent feminist then it's definitely worth a conversation about why she wants him to do something so incredibly unfeminist.
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I suspect it is different if you marry young.
As Clergs said on another thread, people who marry young seem to be far more traditional and socially conservative than people who marry later and whose brains have had a few more years to develop.
I probably would have accepted a lot more of the sexist trappings of marriage if I'd got married at 25 compared to getting married in my early 30s.
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I have no ishoo with the fact people (including me) do stuff they don't really believe in for a quiet life.
the problem is this can create an expectation from wider family that you will continue to do so, and that they have some kind of say in stuff that is rightly between a couple
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Fair enough. I'm going back to the thread about which roffers are bloaters.
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"He could, however, have an adult conversation with his potential wife and make a feminist case for her making her own decision and informing her father of it afterwards."
Or he could get a life.
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good to see posters had something to do this weekend...
What dusty said on 22 Feb, 17.26.
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Getting a life or getting some self respect...
Decisions, decisions.
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Point of order it wasn't me who said the married young thing (I am confident cos I don't think that - I think there's evidence that people who marry younger often have more successful marriages in the long run)
Also that sounds like a logical fallacy given the pressure in socially conservative communities to marry young
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I said it, but I defo didn't say peoples brains are undeveloped :-/
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Ah yeah sorry it was Hoolie that said it.
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Maybe not that their brains are undeveloped but they've had less time to think about what an odd thing to do, say, changing your name is, and more time to reflect on why people actually do it. For example.
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I think young people who get married are more romantic and less aware of how fleeting things are.
That is my hypothesis obv unprovable.
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More romantic but also totally fooking clueless. If my offspring wanted to get married at 18 I'd be raging.
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I remembered an absolute FIL classic I thought I'd share.
For my wife's 30th birthday, FIL built up the fact he'd bought her a very special, and very expensive present.
He always does this - builds things up massively - so that when they happen you're no longer grateful for it having been given.
Anyway, he sent me and my wife various messages to check my car was big enough to take the gift home from his house. Which it was - just.
So the day arrives and the huge rectangular present is brought out. It's obviously a picture of some kind. And it's fooking MASSIVE.
My wife opens it. It is AN ACTUAL OIL PORTRAIT OF HIM. Which he confirms cost him £5k. £5k. He says it's so we can remember him after he's dead.
Astounding.
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Grand one Phil - keep 'em coming lad...!
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Are you related to sailaw?
his dad has given him an oil painting of himself too
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Phil this needs a whole thread of its own tbh
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brilliant
you're making these up, right
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I'm not related to Saillaw and I'm not making it up.
I've got waaaayyyyyyy more too. Gonna ask Mrs Stamp when I get home on Thursday to give me a list of her top 5 Doug moments and will report back.
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