Ladies of ROF

Some of you are happy in your respective relationships, some are searching and some are half-way.

You have also lived through or used the internet dating and app based dating stuff. And some of you may have also seen the old school way where you met in ordinary circumstances (street, cafe, friend's place etc etc) and the guy asked you out for coffee or such. 

 

Question: Of the three modes (internet, app and old school) which one would you rate as most friendly and useful (from your individual perspective) and why. 

 

 

in my day internet dating was for weirdos and apps didn't exist so being 'chatted up' was the only way really. I'm told that this doesn't really happen these days and that people are horrified by being approached by a stranger in this way (is this true?)

Having seen Tinder lately I found it quite depressing (although fun if you're swiping people on someone else's behalf)

I know people that met via the internet through shared interests which seems to hit the sweet spot - so I suppose, internet

I'm not really qualified to comment as I've only ever done it the "old school" way. But I know lots of people who have met their other half through a dating website or app and are now very happily coupled up, so it's definitely something I would consider if I were single.

mate, approaching strangers in the street is a horrible idea these days, you will be shamed and looked at like a raping maniac - the only natural way anymore is to meet someone at uni/work/some other course of life that both parties are involved in

I'm not a lady but I'd say that apps actually have a similar success rate to the old school way. You have plenty of brief but pleasant conversations that don't go anywhere.

I didn’t do the apps but dated a few guys who I met in bars/at the gym. That was fine. 

I turned down anyone who approached me on the street/at the supermarket (only happened a couple of times but it felt a bit weird)

have been wondering about this recently

how do some women just fall into new relationships?

often I think having a really compelling activity outside work helps

Does the trusty unsolicited cockshot fall under the internet or app approach?

how do some women just fall into new relationships?

School x 1, university x 2, working in a bar x 1 (plus a couple of other flings that I wouldn't define as a relationship but more than a hookup), through friends x 2.

 

actual relationships:

School / mutual friends x 3

university social soc  x1

rof

rof

rof

etc etc 

I think it gets harder to meet people in real life after you leave university, especially if you prefer not to be in a relationship with someone you meet through work.

I don't think young people stuff counts, Anna. I'm thinking like forties and fifties really. Maybe thirties a bit. 

I mean once one no longer has the instinctive erotic allure of youth, how does one pick up men? And how come some women are perpetually single and others always dating for their entire lives?

(I sadly never had an erotic allure of youth but most do)

Only ever picked up on person. Would assume I'd do the same if I was on the market again due to the fact I'm not covered in eczema or suffering from halitosis 

I have done all of the forms and in my opinion, apps is the best really. Chances of meeting someone organically are pretty small these days and like FF, random guys who approach you tend to weird me out.

My app of choice is bumble, followed by Hinge I think. Tinder is ok but a lot of guys just looking for hook ups.

Making a real connection with someone is pure luck, and dating is often tedious/excruciating, so if you are looking for a relationship you should probably just be open to all the different ways you can meet people.

Most of the people I've been in relationships with/dated have been people I've met IRL, but my two favourite and most functional relationships have been with people i met 'online'.

First was in 2003 - on a whim I clicked through to a dating website affiliated with The Onion to see what sort of people would use dating sites.  My ex didn't have a photo but his profile was just funny and warm, and really reflected his personality (as I found out).  We went out for 3.5 years, and are still good friends. Online dating was really stigmatised back then but it turned out that one of my good friends went to school with him, and one of his best friends was a work buddy of mine and had been meaning to introduce us.  Small world.  So we just fudged the story of how we met.

Second is with current Mr Sizz, who I met on Tinder when I was on a ten week holiday in the country he was living in.  I came back for him and found a job there.

ROMANCE

I love when people find click against the odds in a horrid world

and envy and admire people who can just say "the current mr x" without feeling anguished at the agonising temporariness of everything

sexy and insouciant unto the grave types are so lucky

I feel really depressed by a conversation I had with my favourite man this morning and think I am just going to stop eating tbh

although I am supposed to be going to franco manca later so that's annoying

a mate started his grooms speech at this wedding with "the current mrs x and I" 

 

quite punchy

 

imagine being able to laugh at that

I mean it's a true and adult acknowledgement of how the world is but O God

Ach, will you stop outing me clergs?

You know full well that ‘sexy and insouciant’ is a direct quote from my Legal 500 profile.

a mate started his grooms speech at this wedding with "the current mrs x and I" 

 

is he terry wogan?

Re 'current [X]':  My parents had been separated for almost a decade when my dad died.  He had a long term partner, but when he died my mother organised the funeral. (His partner being devastated, very young and a bit clueless, was in no fit state to do it.)  Anyway, my mother wasn't sure how she should list herself on the funeral notice/order of service thing - she was technically still his wife, but he had a partner.  So she listed herself as what would roughly be translated as his 'companion on the road'. They were both Bhuddist, and basically, everyone who has ever meant anything to you is just your 'companion of the road' (through life, to enlightenment, whatever). 

That phrase has stuck with me ever since because nothing is forever and I'm okay with that.  I love Mr Sizz and he has brought so many good things into my life, and a fresh perspective on things (which I really appreciate in anyone but especially in a boyfriend).  But when it ends, whenever it ends, it's okay, and I'll get over it, and I'll still have had some really awesome times with him.

I am crying a bit

the road is terrifying

objectively that is a beautiful idea tho

also I think that is the healthiest attitude ever to relationships

"when it ends, whenever it ends, it's okay, and I'll get over it, and I'll still have had some really awesome times with him."

I operate a scorched earth policy as 'getting over it' tactics

all my exes hate me 

not rof. Never again. Once was a fairly sobering indulgence as a thought. 

I think I will need to find ways in the real world. The fakers online are just that.

I think I am the only bloke on rof who hasn't shagged or copped off with a fette.  Other than darcey ABBS and hanners obv.

Ps - heh @ clergs and romance - talk us thru the hotel bar/burger incident

wang you and I both mate, but like how do you know if any of the fettes are even mildly attractive (not saying they aren't), but going on a date off here is just a blind date, surely you may aswell tinder the ting to hell

wang - a person can have known both gross sex and romance stop being a buffoon

I have met dozens of roofers over the years (that has spell corrected but I like the metaphor) but not in a date setting.  Apart from Tina obv,he bought me dinner and gave my mrs a bath robe.

Lilly - it is not that the rofettes are excruciatingly attractive but given the gene pool of the rofers, they rank way above that - on every objective scale. 
 

it's all relative though.

I am sure though laz will flex his pelvic muscles to show is six packs - his way of drawing attraction.  

"I think I am the only bloke on rof who hasn't shagged or copped off with a fette"

except in our dreams 

@coffers - so basically the fettes are acceptable for public appearance, but because all the guys are completely hideous they seem like supermodels?

fortunately, looks is not the only thing which makes a woman beautiful and worth chasing. 

its pretty important if you're not trying to marry them

I have been on dates with three Rofettes but not all at the same time.

I operate a scorched earth policy as 'getting over it' tactics

Yeah, well, I guess I'm just dead inside so can afford to be all zen and, yeah so long and thanks for all the fish bla  bla bla.

if forced to contemplate my insides I think they are one giant sore that has MRSA and so never heals

PS - good to see SCT around. One of the more sound minds of rof

I can confirm that the fettes I have met are indeed pleasing to the eye

I operate a scorched earth policy as 'getting over it' tactics

all my exes hate me 

I helped my last one divorce his wife.

I feel really depressed by a conversation I had with my favourite man this morning and think I am just going to stop eating tbh

Clergs, I dunno what this is about, but that sounds like crazy talk.  EAT THE PIZZA.

I hear they do good vegan ones and I do love that tbf but what's the point when your beloved thinks that one day you will get bored of him

ps re your new overseas abode do you reckon you might live there forever??

people who make amazing lives in new places are truly living the dream

Your beloved thinks you will get bored of him?

awww 

insecurity in men is to be welcomed. Exploit it 

I think he meant it more like and that is fine

life is so transientwhy can't I cope

ps re your new overseas abode do you reckon you might live there forever??

No - nothing's for forever, remember!  (Although the pollution here might kill me sooner rather than later, so, maybe?).  Also, I'm a restless person and like moving around. I miss London a lot as well,so will defo come back one day.  Ah, the crazy British, they grow on you.

I hear they do good vegan ones and I do love that tbf but what's the point when your beloved thinks that one day you will get bored of him

I'm not sure these two issues are related, but think the solution is for you to date a Frenchman.  They are all about lunch and dinner, so at least you'll eat well while dealing with this whole relationship caper.

the French have been cancelled after phoebes latest escapades

I didn't know you'd been with Mrs King since the 1990s.

MySpace - always did quite well on there

 

internet dating - so slow moving

 

apps - easy to meet lots of people 

 

never been approached in public. I live in London and assume if a stranger speaks to me they are just trying to grift me or have mental health problems