"I GUESS SO COZ THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I'LL GET ANY O's!"

Heh.

This sounds like my spawn 

the golden child is more exhausting emotionally for sure 

Heh.  Tbf to your son, I was once home without wife and put the dishwasher on.  We had run out of tabs so I decided to Del boy it by filling the tab tray with washing up liquid.  Must be the same shyt, right?

Are, no Wang you utter fookwit.  

Not helped by #3 coming in and shouting "oooh daddy look at all the bubbles" then dancing round the fairy liquid drenched kitchen like it was an ayia nappa foam party.

Ps - it proper fooks a dishwasher that.

That's ace. 

Similarly, my parents have a place in Spain. It has a dishwasher. The dishwasher tabs they had bought didn't look right to me, so I ran the box through Google translate. 

They were clothes washing tablets.

Linda: agreed. The spare is far more easy going. 

I reckon you could also have a similar thread called the joys of childhood as if anything happens to my mum this is the sort of thing my dad will end up doing as he doesn't know which is the washing machine let alone how it works.

lollers @ wang

a mate of mine from school did that in her first term at Oxford

she had never used a washing machine before

It's one thing a kid not knowing how to differentiate a washing machine from a tumble dryer, but a grown man not knowing how to use a washing machine is a disgrace. 

I don't think my dad knows how to use one either. But then, my mum doesn't know how to cook fish fingers, so...

Kimmy he's so useless on a practical level that my mum has never demonstrated to him how to do many things because if she does he then tries doing it and gets it wrong.  He famously saw the dishwasher light flashing to say it had finished and emptied it and put everything away without realising that it had only been on rinse and that stuff still had food on it.

my mum has never demonstrated to him how to do many things because if she does he then tries doing it and gets it wrong

typical male response so as to avoid ever having to do anything. 

Partly that but he's also one of those people who's great at abstract things and left field ideas but can't deal with practical stuff.  He comes up with amazing plans that you can generally pick apart in moments because he's missed some practical detail but every now and then he does up with something brilliant that will actually work.

I do wonder re: the OP why she didn’t just instruct nanny to do the laundry before she fried up some scallops.  

*Gives severe side-eye to CC*

My m7 Dave has some ace examples here.  He was 2nd youngest of 8 and most of his elders were sisters.  His 2 nans also lived with the tribe and his parents.  Proper highlights when he was finally alone (at uni he was right near home and had his washing collected by a family member 2ce a week, pre made meals delivered by the same etc):

- being caught looking at a frying pan filled with dried pasta "why the fook is this not cooking?"

- being discovered with the Breville in front of him, a slice of bread with ham on one hand, a slice with cheese on the other "how the fook do you work this bad boy anyway?"*

*I turned on the plug

Shooty TBF, a few years ago I ran out of dishwasher tablets following a house party. Hungover I couldn't be arsed to nip to the shops , so put fairy liquid into the capsule. Foam everywhere which tok hours to dissipitate , fvking chaos.

LOL @ an old timer using the word "dude".