Drunken night out at a Dublin conference. I woke up with my hotel bedsheets soaked in blood. It was everywhere - biblical. Must have fallen over on my walk back. Big scrape and cut along my arm.
8:55 and I have to decide whether to hot-foot it to the conference centre to get my precious CPD. Decide to do so, but was bricking myself. Would the hotel call the police? Returned to a perfectly made up room. Guess they must see this stuff all the time, especially in Dublin.
that reminds me I once got my period in a Newnham college bed and I am pretty sure they made the students change their own bedsheets when term started again
I *must* have printed that hotel hosuekeeping letter that was sent to the record company asking for payment for the scat and blood and broken umbrella related CHAOS left by a soul crooner? it was a masterpiece of restraint. The umbrella was the crowning gross out
I mean the number of times I've heard them talk about so-and-so's 'brave' performance or how 'brave' so-and-so is to speak out on a given topic (always reciting the wokest of woke things imaginable), they must be really incredibly courageous.
We have a funny story from a recent partner conference at my old shop:
The patner will remain nameless.
He went to bed about 3 am after a heavy drinking session.
Around 5.30am, he gets up, naked, and goes through the door to what he thought was the bathroom.
It wasn't. It was the door to the corridor, which closed behind him, locking him out. Crap. OK, he knows that he has a colleague's room on either side. One male. One female. He is without a stitch of clothing. This could result in a harrassment charge....
Fortunately, he picks the correct door. His male colleague answers. "Can I borrow a dressing gown to go to reception, mate?"
"No, but you can have this hand towel".
And so, he troops down to reception, in a teeny tiny towel barely bigger than a flannel, gloriously marking past the healthy early risers in the gym who are on the running machines, and gets another key to get into his room.
Two questions arise: 1. Who refuses their colleague a dressing gown in such a situation? Except for the lolz, obvs.
2. Why would you not say "it's cool, I'll call reception, get them to bring one up."
I was just thinking about if I died in a hotel how that would be freaky for the staff. And how much of a tip might compensate for that level of freaky.
although in the park plaza they would deserve it for coming around at 8am wtf is wrong with them
I have locked myself out of a hotel room in the small hours and simply wandered down to reception and explained and asked for a fresh key card. Still a reasonable level of booze in my system which definitely helped with the embarrassment of the stroll to and from reception.
I reckon being a bin man falls into Clerg's original category given the risk of hitching a bin to the wagon and starting to tip it and then realising that was a disembodied head that just toppled out of the bin into the back of the lorry.
sole cashier in a motorway petrol station late at night
sole cashier in a off licence late at night when it is the only shop still open on a street
I used work in a hotel, in a room that had been checked out of I found a binbag, pushed behind the wardrobe, filled with clean new clothes, a wallet with cash, and a passport. I asked the manager would we run full tilt to the police with it and he shrugged and said 'Nah.'
My m7 dave had a summer job at his uncle's town undertakers. He described in great detail how he had to once peel an old lady from the chair she had sat in in front of the 3 bar fire. Smelled like slow cooked pork apparently (she had been baking for a week or two).
I used to do deliveries, sometimes you'd end up in the dark at a house in the woods, just absolutely ready to be invited in by whoever owned the house for 20 minutes of quick sex before your next delivery
I once travelled somewhere to interview a hotel manager who was going to be a witness in the case, only to find he was unavailable because someone had checked in the night before and checked out overnight (heroin, I think). It was an iconic hotel for the city and not uncommon for people to decide to spend their last night there. Poor guy. Poor housekeeping person who found the guy. It was all dealt with extremely discretely.
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on a per capita basis I mean
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It was my penchant for cumming across corpses that resulted in me being barred from the Co-op Funeral Home.
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GET OUT
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*points at door*
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Sorry for your loss. Your sexy, sexy loss.
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Heh!
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Working at a fitting room in M&S must be harrowing - wall to wall men in bras perving apparently...
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Are corpses scary?
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yes
also they could have been murdered or have ebola
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Heh @ jello
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Coracle - not at all. Quite the opposite. The sexy. sexy opposite.
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One of my extended family used to fix communications and transmission towers. That sounded pretty scary.
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how extended was he? Did he need a ladder?
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how extended was he? Did he need a ladder?
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That gets a heh!
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Cool (but relevant) story
Drunken night out at a Dublin conference. I woke up with my hotel bedsheets soaked in blood. It was everywhere - biblical. Must have fallen over on my walk back. Big scrape and cut along my arm.
8:55 and I have to decide whether to hot-foot it to the conference centre to get my precious CPD. Decide to do so, but was bricking myself. Would the hotel call the police? Returned to a perfectly made up room. Guess they must see this stuff all the time, especially in Dublin.
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that reminds me I once got my period in a Newnham college bed and I am pretty sure they made the students change their own bedsheets when term started again
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anotherday...14 Nov 19 13:54
Working at a fitting room in M&S must be harrowing - wall to wall men in bras perving apparently...
------------------------
THEY IDENTIFY AS WOMEN, YOU DISGUSTING, EVIL BIGOT.
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I *must* have printed that hotel hosuekeeping letter that was sent to the record company asking for payment for the scat and blood and broken umbrella related CHAOS left by a soul crooner? it was a masterpiece of restraint. The umbrella was the crowning gross out
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noooo!
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It's acting isn't it?
I mean the number of times I've heard them talk about so-and-so's 'brave' performance or how 'brave' so-and-so is to speak out on a given topic (always reciting the wokest of woke things imaginable), they must be really incredibly courageous.
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We have a funny story from a recent partner conference at my old shop:
The patner will remain nameless.
He went to bed about 3 am after a heavy drinking session.
Around 5.30am, he gets up, naked, and goes through the door to what he thought was the bathroom.
It wasn't. It was the door to the corridor, which closed behind him, locking him out. Crap. OK, he knows that he has a colleague's room on either side. One male. One female. He is without a stitch of clothing. This could result in a harrassment charge....
Fortunately, he picks the correct door. His male colleague answers. "Can I borrow a dressing gown to go to reception, mate?"
"No, but you can have this hand towel".
And so, he troops down to reception, in a teeny tiny towel barely bigger than a flannel, gloriously marking past the healthy early risers in the gym who are on the running machines, and gets another key to get into his room.
Two questions arise: 1. Who refuses their colleague a dressing gown in such a situation? Except for the lolz, obvs.
2. Why would you not say "it's cool, I'll call reception, get them to bring one up."
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Too many hotel threads Clergs.
are you permanently residing in hotels these days?
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I wish, they are amazing.
I was just thinking about if I died in a hotel how that would be freaky for the staff. And how much of a tip might compensate for that level of freaky.
although in the park plaza they would deserve it for coming around at 8am wtf is wrong with them
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I have locked myself out of a hotel room in the small hours and simply wandered down to reception and explained and asked for a fresh key card. Still a reasonable level of booze in my system which definitely helped with the embarrassment of the stroll to and from reception.
I reckon being a bin man falls into Clerg's original category given the risk of hitching a bin to the wagon and starting to tip it and then realising that was a disembodied head that just toppled out of the bin into the back of the lorry.
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With ‘Layla’ playing in the background in the style of ‘goodfellas’
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HEH@shooty
what an arse!
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sole cashier in a motorway petrol station late at night
sole cashier in a off licence late at night when it is the only shop still open on a street
I used work in a hotel, in a room that had been checked out of I found a binbag, pushed behind the wardrobe, filled with clean new clothes, a wallet with cash, and a passport. I asked the manager would we run full tilt to the police with it and he shrugged and said 'Nah.'
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My m7 dave had a summer job at his uncle's town undertakers. He described in great detail how he had to once peel an old lady from the chair she had sat in in front of the 3 bar fire. Smelled like slow cooked pork apparently (she had been baking for a week or two).
He told me this in bodeans.*
*not really
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also the fact that all hotels are haunted
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So m8 Dave pulled pork?
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Takeaway delivery drivers seem to be getting the blunt end of the spoon at the moment.
Thats all I’ve got.
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I used to do deliveries, sometimes you'd end up in the dark at a house in the woods, just absolutely ready to be invited in by whoever owned the house for 20 minutes of quick sex before your next delivery
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... And did that ever happen?
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And what about when you were a taxi driver and sometimes the woman didn't have the means to pay, what then happened?
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I once travelled somewhere to interview a hotel manager who was going to be a witness in the case, only to find he was unavailable because someone had checked in the night before and checked out overnight (heroin, I think). It was an iconic hotel for the city and not uncommon for people to decide to spend their last night there. Poor guy. Poor housekeeping person who found the guy. It was all dealt with extremely discretely.
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I remember when two people took cyanide in the Scotsman
bit of a dangerous one that
anyway when I go out I picture it being in a hotel so sorry in advance etc
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BYOS*
*Suitcase, if you haven’t been following the news.
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gross
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