Alright ROF fans, last night I was in the pub with beau and he went all serious and told me there was something he needed to talk to me about. From the level of seriousness I thought this was a dumping!
There is a girl that lives in his block of flats and every now and then they have an evening where they smoke weed and watch curb your enthusiasm. Well last night he told me that she had text him and was suggesting they do this again soon. He told me that years ago they shagged a few times but it was just casual.
Anyway, he wanted to let me know that she had messaged him and he had said no as he had a girlfriend now (me).
My response was, let her come round. You don't want to shag her, she doesn't want to shag you. You are allowed to have friends you have shagged, I still see people that I have shagged. He can't believe how easy going I was about it all.
Am I mental or were his ex girlfriends mental?
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You're mental.
The reason they did this was either because they might shag again or they liked the sexual tension of the fact they had shagged.
The fact he said no demonstrates this is true at least for him.
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there is an episode of Girls5eva that deals with this issue
if you want to watch the tv series with him it is cheating if he watches it with her
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also she will definitely try to shag him
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but whether or not this bothers you is a very personal thing
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describe norks
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I would not be bothered by this.
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Yeah, now he has told her he has a girlfriend his desirability has just gone up about 50 to 75%. She probably is going to try to shag him. He'll probably say no though, particularly if they mainly stick to the weed rather than hit the booze hard.
As above whether you mind her trying is a very personal thing.
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They will definitely shag now. In his mind, you agreeing to them meeting to watch tv is the same as you agreeing that they shag, even though that is literally not what you agreed.
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Sounds like you are a grown up.
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Good opportunity for a threesome.
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I suspect he wanted you to say no as 1) he doesn't enjoy being with this person because he is worried he will get carried away and shag and 2) he wouldn't want you to do this so this means he can say the same to you in future.
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His behaviour is that of a decent guy who doesn’t want to get himself into a compromising situation however innocently.
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your response is trusting
10/10
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I bet he's getting in provisions for the threesome as I type.
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It doesn’t sound like he was asking for permission. Rather he had made his decision and told you what it was. As his decision was in your favour why persuade him to let her come over? It’s like you are trying to say ‘heh I’m cool don’t care’ but the reality is you do care and care enough to put the Q on here. Your conclusions about being allowed to have friends you have shagged may extend to groups in the pub but watching TV alone getting out of it is a bit different as he probably knows.
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What OB said. Good deeds all round. And as we know, no good deed goes unpunished.
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what ob said - I have less faith in human nature- she’ll lure him with feminine wiles and before he’s thought about it too hard he’ll be ploughing the temptresses’ furrow
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What was the point in solemnly telling Phoebe about it? I don't understand why he needed to tell her that he turned down a weed and tv session with an old neighbour, unless he thinks his gesture is a Big Deal.
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I am not sure. He might just have mentioned it in a chatty way. Also he could be feeling good about himself as 2 women want to shag him.
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He's clearly suggesting a 3-some.
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All sounds very mature and reasonable to me. I doubt he would have told you if he had serious designs on doing it again.
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Good humblebrag though.
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Jamiestone's post is the only correct response here.
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It sounds a wee bit like wanting a pat on the back for doing sth completely normal to build up credit in the bank of goodwill. 'Look at me turning down a POSSIBLE shagging scénario. Aren't I wonderful, over here, doing the bare minimum a girlfriend should expect of me!'
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or he might be pleased he has a proper girlfriend rather than shagging the weedhead upstairs and is just checking in.
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He's boundary testing.
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your response was correct and if he doesn’t want to meet up with her he doesn’t have to
why on earth do people on rof think being in a relationship means someone needs to stop hanging out with their friends?
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Because this could be interpreted as setting up a date night with an ex.
id be well fvcked off if someone didn’t tell me to at least be part of the decision making even if I was ok about it
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Sounds like you're a solid couple to be fair. Distinct absence of tween insecurities here.
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Exactly quips. This is how it’s supposed to be.
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Lol at Chill being RoFs Professor Pangloss yet again. Yeah why can’t people just get high over at their ex / FWBs flat? Where’s the harm in that?
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+1 for the why did he tell you if he cancelled the TV and smoke session with the ex.
What's the benefit for Phoebe in this scenario?
I hold the same views on people who volunteer up they've cheated to their partner to clear their conscience
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She is simplya decoy. He’s after your best friend. Or your sister. Or maybe your mother.
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Sounds like either:
1. You failed to read between the lines and they are in fact shagging
2. On a related but different note, it was an exploratory discussion for him to see where the boundaries are
Unless one of the two has had an epiphany or moral transformation, they will get at it again. If in doubt, just ask yourself what you would do in this situation! Pritaaayyyyy good!
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It is funny, especially the Palestine Chicken episode
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