I found a BBC news article about 3-Ducks!

Entitled "I avoid kissing girls because it could kill me".

 

I am expecting a further instalment tomorrow headed "I have never touched a fanoire because mummy told me girls have teeth Up There".

Well, in that case, I refer you to the Father Ted episode entitled "Speed 3".  I fear that Pat Mustard may have paid a visit shortly after 3-Ducks barricaded himself in the bedroom after shying from Mrs Dux's amorous advances.