There's a lady I've been chatting to for some time who is bright and pretty and very easy to get along with. We were meant to finally meet for the first time tonight but after confirming she was still up for it at the weekend she's gone silent on me and so there's no agreed time and venue for this evening. This is not the first time this has happened and she'll pop up in a few days fully apologetic because something came up at work or the like and I'm sympathetic to that given my choice of career and the aged parents who often result in having to suddenly change plans.
However, I've lost track of the number of times this has happened and know that she also suffers from depression and his issues with relationships from some things that happened in her past so it's possibly time to accept that it just isn't going to happen.
Of course I've considered the possibility that she is just some deranged incel sitting at home in his boxers sending me texts and photos of someone he's found online.
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if you really want a flaky person in your life, keep trying. I'd have moved on long ago. One cancellation would be ok but going dark and not even bothering to cancel in advance is a red flag.
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Sounds like she’s married
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"However, I've lost track of the number of times this has happened and know that she also suffers from depression..."
Best avoided M8...
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Surely you raise it with them. They will either confess to their mental health anxiety struggles and ask you to work through them with them (and if you can do so thereby creating a bond of trust), or if they give you any sort of flaky or disingenuous answer you bin them immediately
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I'd assumed this would be how many dates without a shag before you give up thread.
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Sounds well dodgy.
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Depends how casual you’re willing to be. Flakiness is tolerable in a casual fling (especially if you’re able to sympathise with the reasons behind it), but really, you can’t allow yourself to get invested in someone like that.
Past experience/trauma absolutely shapes behaviour, but that doesn’t mean that you (or they) have to accept it. If she’s doing the work and owning it, she has potential. If she’s not, she doesn’t.
(99% of this post is me talking about my own situation so please disregard if it doesn’t chime).
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I can be reasonably flaky myself when it comes to dating so I have some sympathy. I've done it many times but still find the idea of meeting someone who is basically a stranger stressful.
Glad to see Rof still has its share of ruthless people. You'd like the Italian lady who when I said was spending my birthday with old friends and then going away for Easter responded that she's got lots and lots of plans and can't fit me in until September now. I had rather assumed she'd spend Easter with her kids. Has confirmed that me and Italian tempers do not belong together.
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Breadcrumb girl innit.
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This isn't flakiness, this is avoidance. Which is what you should be practising.
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Buzz is correct
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persist, sounds like a keeper this one.
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I never thought Sails and Tecco would start dating
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Heh. Talk about a danger shag. Usually worry is having your car tyres slashed by a lunatic lover or being stabbed in your sleep with a screwdriver. Excommunication is rarely on the list of possible outcomes of a disagreement.
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watched a vid last night on a guy who started dating a YouTube influencer. Within weeks she had moved in and he noticed some really odd behaviour. Eventually he was sleeping his car, she had possession of his home and was extorting him for $400k claiming he'd been violent with her.
She was cute though.
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Just remembered,
her name was Unstoppable Morgan
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She's not that into you. Time to move on, cut losses and find someone who deserves you Sailo!
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Send her a nice message so you don't fell like a bellend just saying that you like her but all the cancelling is nee good man
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why not just give her (in the nicest possible way) an ultimatum? If you dont hear from here confirming she wants to meet up this evening you will assume she doesnt really want to meet up at all and you are moving on?
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I'll see what I hear first. Years ago I was meant to meet a date for lunch and when I didn't appear she left me a load of angry texts and voicemails berating me for standing her up. She was most apologetic when I finally managed to get to my phone and point out that I'd been taken into hospital in the early hours of the morning and had been kept in. The lesson was that you never know what is going on in someone else's life so wait for their explanation before coming to a conclusion.
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She’s seeing other people and dips into being interested in you when she’s between the people she’s otherwise seeing. She probably gets lots of messages and maybe you need to be more direct so she knows you’re not an indefinite option.
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She's shagging a load of other people but that's just casual.
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