I am in a 4 star London hotel in a standard room. Business rate of 150 a night. Staying two nights. Check in at 9PM, ask about room service as really hungry but it’s 24 hrs so go to room. It’s bad. Really, really bad. Outdated and overlooking a wall. Nothing to rest my suitcase on but a suitcase sized hole next to a ramshackle cabinet/sideboard thing so on the floor it goes. Notice there are some screws on wall but no pictures. Two single beds. Find a wad of dust next to the bed. There are random cut through wires beneath the desk.
call family, laugh about always ending up in the broom cupboard, cuss out employer etc. Start looking for room service menu and hotel info for WiFi. Nuffink. Start looking for place to plug in phone charger. Nope. All outdated with round pins. There’s a tablet type thing with hotel info. No menu, nothing on WiFi and no clue about breakfast. BUT the airco works albeit very loudly.
Off to the lobby I go. Receptionist has no clue. Some sort of manager type guy comes with me. I am right. No place to plug a modern charger. He unplugs the empty (?) fridge so I can charge via an extension that also holds tv plug and tablet. TV not working. Ok. Haha. What IS working. It’s 9.45. He will bring up a menu and will ask maintenance to come by. Fine. Then: nuffink. I am getting thirsty and stare at empty non working fridge.
It is now 10.15 pm and I go down to reception. By this time my knees are buckling as exhausted after long day of moving house and not enough to eat and drink. I need to get up at 5.30 am, still need to eat, sleep and wash my hair before then. Great.
Ask reception for menu and please cancel maintenance for telly. I need the zzz’s. Blank stare. I cry. The shame. Can I PLEASE have a menu an cancel the telly because I need to eat and sleep. He starts calling maintenance and asks for favour for the crying lady. JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN MENU. Also, some water would be nice. No, no water provided to standard rooms. What the ACTUAL fuck? Fine. Whatever. Can I get a tissue to fix the snot situation AND A MENU? Ok, great.
I am now typing away on a tablet. I can wash my shoulder blades but not my hair as shower head still at 1960s level. I am 5’10” so obvs abnormal. Burger arrived at 11.00 pm. I cannot work as no plug near desk to work on. No tv.
Give me your most outrageous strategies for handling this. Copy and paste to Twitter/tripadvisor/google review etc? Official complaint. Demand upgrade? More crying (the SHAME tho).
Tx for reading. No TLDR and no dux saying I can skip a meal as I am fat anyway.
srsly every word of this is true so serious replies also appreciated.