5-10 human years is 35 to 70 years in dog years.  This means that you giving your dog human food (throws sandwich!) is actually erasing your dog from history for several generations back.  You monster.

Heh.

I hadn’t realised I was such a bastard.

Yeah I give the dogs the odd treat and the odd leftover 

fook it, life is too short not too 

Dog would scrounge it somewhere else if you didn’t do the occasional treat surely. My sister’s dog can hear the opening of a biscuit tin from miles around and get to it at speed of light. Entirely my dad’s fault (rip) and being starving when rescued. Now dog is dying sister wishes she’d fed it a non stop diet of broccoli and blueberries along with organic cuts no doubt. 

Used to give Saildog left over gravy and bits but she’s got a sensitive digestion and too much fat may have been the cause of her recent explosive runs so she now only gets dog food and left over veg if it doesn’t have butter or sauce on.

We used to give chocolate and chocolate biscuit treats to our collie in the 70s and she was never noticeably worse off.

After she died we found out that when she was allowed out during the day (something else that kids today wouldn't know about) she used to wonder around the neighbourhood cadging treats at people's doors. At least one couple had a little tin by the door just for her biscuits...!

BD gets small cut offs from bits of sausage and bacon at the weekends and the occasional spoonful of sweet potato mash mixed in with his food but otherwise keep him on a proper dog diet only.

Dog would scrounge it somewhere else if you didn’t do the occasional treat surely.

Yeah most dogs I know are pretty strict.  If you give them a treat, they will understand that they've had their treat for the day and forego tasty morsels they would otherwise scrounge elsewhere.

there's a Billy Connolly sketch about people on health kicks basically just guaranteeing themselves longer in the shittest parts of their life. 

That's the Jim Fixx the jogger one, right?

We make our dog a mix of boiled white rice with some chopped up cheap meat scraps.  He gets a little bit of this mixed in with his kibble at most meals and is as happy as...  Also give him carrots and last night he got the fatty bits off a couple of duck legs.  

Our pekingese would only eat sausages, he'd go on hunger strike if we tried to feed him anything else.  He survived 2 heart attacks and being stolen.  

there's a Billy Connolly sketch about people on health kicks basically just guaranteeing themselves longer in the shittest parts of their life

Also reminds me about Sean Lock's joke several years ago about someone saying to him he'd save money by giving up smoking and his response to the effect that no he wouldn't as he'd live longer and living is really expensive.

Hmm.

was that the "Where's your helicopter?" joke? (the premise being if you save the cigarette money you could buy a helicopter)

If you need to stick to dog food, perhaps try Lily's Kitchen. We give it to Gwendog as a treat. She has become quite fussy with her food lately but was very enthusiastic about the Wild Campfire Stew variety (containing venison, duck and salmon (??!!)). It's pricey - about £3 a tin but she much prefers it to the just as extortionate and very bland Hills.

We used Lily's Kitchen and BD loved the Wild Campfire Stew but you know it was bought out by the evil organisation known as Nestlé and now forms part of their Purina group of pet foods?  

BD gets small cut offs from bits of sausage and bacon at the weekends and the occasional spoonful of sweet potato mash mixed in with his food but otherwise keep him on a proper dog diet only.

Much the same, tbf. But sub the bacon for chicken.

BD has about 10-15% Lab DNA alongside the majority EP/GSP DNA so our assumption is that straying too far from a controlled dog diet will cause him to turn into a fat shunter at the blink of an eye which, given he's only just recovering from ACL surgery, is the last things his legs need.

Gwendog has no interest in corporate acquisitions. However, she has always liked duck and has now developed a taste for venison.

good god, does the dog dress for dinner?  I can't help but imagine that dog has a valet.

Of course he dresses for dinner!

White tie for dinner my friend, new money pah.

He's gorgeous.

He's a bubble and hadn't quite mastered English sartorial mores by then

My dog is less stinky if mainly grain free, always dry kibble, never tins of meat which smell awful. Lily's kitchen salmon just now.

She gets tiny morsels of human food as a treat, but loves raw veg so gets some carrot or broccoli stalk often. I'm quite careful only give her teeny bits and nothing really bad, but then I spy Mr Fox handing her half a twix so I'm wasting my time.

I like Mr Fox I think.

You and the dog, she has a very clear favourite.

Same her. I’ll take cupboard love any day.