Completely randomly

do you ever try to remember someone and just struggle and be like “what was her fooking name?” Or his name or whatever.

I was just trying to think about the people I’d fooked, fyi. Lost count about my very early twenties. Not a great truth.

If it helps, I wasn’t even born in the early twenties. And FAOD neither was anyone i have ever shagged.

You're assuming that I bothered finding out their names in the first instance.

heh

also gross

creepy - check

weird - check

made up - ofc

> Lost count about my very early twenties

Oh aye.

Yeah but you didn’t invent the internet m7, ladies all over that like a cheap suit

Lots of fatherless kids running around Redruth council estates as we speak, telling their mates that they invented cheese and the internet.

Me dad owns cathedral city dontcha know.

Big whoop. Teclis invented Cathedrals. And Christianity. And religion.

Discovered air

Responsible for bringing the nation, nay world, gingerbuts via an amazing cooking accident involving cake mix and his own knob cheese.

Accidentally invented the condom when he was doing the washing up and was putting his marigolds on and one thing led to another and it ended up that he was fooking Heidi Klum and she said ‘hang on how about you pop ziss on your Johannson’ while the dog watched.