Be extremely forward/decisive/confident and realise that they’d be lucky to have even 1 minute in my presence.

Try and realise I’ve found someone who seems half way decent and that I should give it a go rather than continuing to swipe in the hope of finding a unicorn.

Definitely not the lady who unmatched me because I’m not free at 9am on Saturday.

collect as many flags as you can, lads

What are you doing at 9am on Saturday?

Queuing up for some sliced white bread at Waitrose with Risky?

Nope 5k with the running group from the gym.

"try and only go on dates where I fancy the guy in the pic rather than hope he has enough charisma irl"

Black pill 

hot friends who flirt but don’t make a move on me/are all talk

Friendzone

collect as many flags as you can, lads

I remember the days when it was just notches on the bed-post

or hot friends who flirt but don’t make a move on me/are all talk

You do know they're gay?  right?

I'm also limited by not finding lots of tatts attractive.

There shouldn't be that many late 40s to mid-60s laydeez who are heavily inked though, no?  

No Pez but my parameters are from 18 to 70 and there are a lot in their 30's with full sleeves, tramp stamps and also now those strange big chest tattoos which are meant to enhance their cleavage along with all manner of random bits of script and the like.

Heh

Sailo just turn the lights off

random bits of script

Butter (unsalted)

Carrots

Toilet paper 

Return DVD to blockbuster

What does Black Pill mean Gaga?

Google tells me that black pill ideology adherents believe that women only select partners on the basis of looks meaning they're all left fapping in the wind because only the top 10% or whatever of men are actually genetically physically attractive.

It's normally said to be 20% with 80% of women going for said 20%. I don't know what the real % is but it's unbalanced for sure 

This is real and intensified by the dreadful modern phenomenon of dating being moved to the online sphere 

Fontaine's comment is a micro indicator of the truth 

If you're not the handsome guy in the pic now you're fvcked. Organic romantic connection not forged behind a screen is soooo last century 

I’m glad my dating life ended in the 1940s. I’d be fvcked with all this palaver…not literally unfortunately. 

Go out. See a girl. Chat her up. Take her home. Introduce her to your parents. Bang it sideways. 

Job done. 

Simple times. 

But Gaga isn't Fontaine just saying she will go for guys she's attracted to. Fair enough surely

Ooooh... my intentions would probably have to be:

1. Actually go on dates rather than collect matches and then lose interest.
2. Have shorter first dates and not let them go on and on because I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings. Reframe it as "not wasting their time or mine."

Those are probably the main ones for now. But number 1 is the most important. I haven't been arsed to go on an actual date in forever!

Go Gaga Meh!

"You and me could write a bad romance..."

Yes Fontaine is just a riff on my approach of not bothering with the ones where I think there's decent stuff in common but I'm doubtful that there's actually a physical attraction.  I'd rather go on fewer dates than spend them trying to convince myself that someone might grow on me.

But Clive it's based off a photo on the internet 

That filters out alot of us men from ever having a chance, myself included 

Many successful marriages that exist would not have started by this crappy modern method . The woman would have swiped left on the man who was one of her 300 matches and that's be the end of it.

It's a system that crushes people 

But would have saved me from some of the awful dates I had with people that I’d shouted at for a bit in Infernos.

Yeah to clarify, all of the dates I have been on apart from 2 in 2023 were with guys I wasn’t quite attracted to in photos but who I thought might be compatible.. and then in real life I was neither attacred to them nor intrigued/jelled with them etc. Having said that if I just go for attraction I will have far fewer dates. Also agree with the thing about in real life I have dated guys who I wouldn’t have swiped on the apps. The apps are also ageist and noticing this in my 30s.. I do think guys have an advantage here… but its hard for both sexes in diff erent ways. I wish there was an alternative to apps bit there just doesn’t seem to be. All the male lawyers in my large city firm all appear to be married! Agree with Mehs intentions too. I always feel I have to stay for the 2.5 hours. 

Agree with gaga the system does crush people and it really has affected my mood a lot

To paraquote John Virgo:

rail as many 'fettes

as you can

See I’ve always taken the view of fewer dates and just the ones where I really think there might be something.  I probably only go on a dozen dates a year at most but most of them make it to more than one date.  

1. Go on dates quickly after matching

2. Encourage myself to give people a second chance if I'm on the border line about them

3. Be less scared that I'm wasting their time or hurting their feelings if I end things after more than one date

It’s 15 years since I was in the hell of internet dating but I reckon the trick is to meet lots of people irl from it but don’t really treat those first ‘dates’ as actual dates.  More just like you have somehow ended up having a drink/coffee/walk in the park with someone you just met and know to be single. Key thing is to stop kidding yourself you are so popular, busy and important that you don’t have time to just have (and enjoy) a drink/coffee/walk with someone you just met.  It really shouldn’t take more than an hour unless you both want it to. 

I'm going to spend less time giving people second chances as rarely have been things been any better the second time round.

Donnie:. Good strategy. I'm pretty good at meeting randoms from the internet. I like the idea of switching the frame of reference although I wonder if that will put people into the friend zone quite quickly. 

I do find going on a lot of dates with different people in quick succession can make my conversation a bit robotic because dates inevitable cover a lot of the same ground so the answers end up feeling rehearsed /auto pilot which means I've switched off. 

Perhaps meeting someone in real life is the better way to go then.

I'm a lot more relaxed (and likely better company) when there's no pressure to have an instant connection / to impress in a matter of minutes.  I think those interactions are much better.

Also, some people don't look like their photos (some better, some worse), and the vibes they give in person can change you perception of their beauty.  Most women would prefer a funny, easy-going average-looking guy over a taciturn A&F model.