The RollOnFriday Firm of The Year survey gives law firm staff the chance to speak candidly about their firm from behind a veil of anonymity. Thousands of comments were received, and RollOnFriday read them all. Here are a few of the best, deemed illuminating enough to receive an award but, just to be clear, nothing of material value.
Best Advertising Slogan Award
"The partners in Real Estate smell like cheese." Burges Salmon
"The Easter Island Statue of law firms - sometimes grim, sometimes strange, unchanging and always magnificent." Slaughter and May
"Even the arseholes make a pretty good effort to mask their contempt and naked ambition" Travers Smith
Daytime Televison Analogy Award
"If Browne Jacobson were a TV show it would be Richard and Judy. The managing partner plays Richard and the COO plays Judy. It's safe and boring, totally unsexy, without edge or rigour, and is only on during the day time. It's successful but it's hard to say exactly why."
Glad She's Not My PA Award
"No trainee, however full of it they are, can perturb us. We've seen everything, know how to do everything and we're cool." Freshfields
Russell Brand Award
"If I had my way I would round up the ringleaders of the Global Investigations Group and have them shot at dawn." Slaughter and May
Times Literary Supplement Award
"[There are] arrogant partners who like to remind you of their achievements: "I wrote the book on that". Well, unless it's Harry Potter, I really couldn't give a shit." Herbert Smith Freehills
Borg Award for Transatlantic Assimilation
"Oftentimes it is easy to touch base and reach out to fellow colleagues. This can be grabbing a coffee and brainstorming, or just catching the game with a beer to evaluate how best to leverage our capabilities." Hogan Lovells
Irwin Mitchell Award
"The Legal Helpline and Call Centre has recently been infested with fleas for the second time this year." Irwin Mitchell
"Solicitor **** ****** deserves an award for having a meltdown in the middle of the Helpline/Call Centre shouting 'answer the fucking phone, answer the fucking phone' multiple times." Irwin Mitchell
"At the Sheffield staff Xmas party, the Management team are given different (superior) wine to everyone else." Irwin Mitchell
Valued Employee Award
"The annual £75 John Lewis voucher for xmas was cancelled in lieu of a panto (I've no kids) and replaced with a £20 'hamper' full of biscuits and cake (I'm wheat intolerent)" King & Wood Mallesons
First World Problem Award
"The note pads in the board rooms are irritating (squared paper)." Macfarlanes
First World Solution Award
"Pleased to say that we have now reverted to non-scratchy pens." Macfarlanes
Bumlick Award
"Kevin Gold is a terrific leader, with a strong moral compass and is completely trusted." Mishcon de Reya
Motivational Speaking Award
"The partner who likes to give tours of the building, pointing out non-lawyers to their guests and calling them 'the overheads who don't make us any money' won't be winning any prizes for motivational speaking." Nabarro
Sleazebag Award
"A very senior partner in the Corporate practice undermines his management role by dallying with junior (blonde) associates." Allen & Overy
Sleazebag II Award
"Ditto the comments on the website about a corporate partner in a management role having a thing for blonde associates (and members of the finance team). Slimy." Allen & Overy
Dobby Award for Lowered Expectations
"There are loads of nice people. The likes of which will say hello to you in the corridor or urinate on you if you're on fire. Having worked for some absolute bastards over the years, it's quite refreshing." Addleshaw Goddard
"Unlike a previous London firm at which I worked, I can honestly say that I've never considered throwing myself under a bus while working here, which is definitely a positive." Travers
Thanks to everyone who took the time to enter the survey.
Tip Off ROF
Best Advertising Slogan Award
"The partners in Real Estate smell like cheese." Burges Salmon
"The Easter Island Statue of law firms - sometimes grim, sometimes strange, unchanging and always magnificent." Slaughter and May
"Even the arseholes make a pretty good effort to mask their contempt and naked ambition" Travers Smith
Daytime Televison Analogy Award
"If Browne Jacobson were a TV show it would be Richard and Judy. The managing partner plays Richard and the COO plays Judy. It's safe and boring, totally unsexy, without edge or rigour, and is only on during the day time. It's successful but it's hard to say exactly why."
Glad She's Not My PA Award
"No trainee, however full of it they are, can perturb us. We've seen everything, know how to do everything and we're cool." Freshfields
Russell Brand Award
"If I had my way I would round up the ringleaders of the Global Investigations Group and have them shot at dawn." Slaughter and May
Times Literary Supplement Award
"[There are] arrogant partners who like to remind you of their achievements: "I wrote the book on that". Well, unless it's Harry Potter, I really couldn't give a shit." Herbert Smith Freehills
 |
Dress-down Friday at Herbies |
Borg Award for Transatlantic Assimilation
"Oftentimes it is easy to touch base and reach out to fellow colleagues. This can be grabbing a coffee and brainstorming, or just catching the game with a beer to evaluate how best to leverage our capabilities." Hogan Lovells
Irwin Mitchell Award
"The Legal Helpline and Call Centre has recently been infested with fleas for the second time this year." Irwin Mitchell
"Solicitor **** ****** deserves an award for having a meltdown in the middle of the Helpline/Call Centre shouting 'answer the fucking phone, answer the fucking phone' multiple times." Irwin Mitchell
"At the Sheffield staff Xmas party, the Management team are given different (superior) wine to everyone else." Irwin Mitchell
Valued Employee Award
"The annual £75 John Lewis voucher for xmas was cancelled in lieu of a panto (I've no kids) and replaced with a £20 'hamper' full of biscuits and cake (I'm wheat intolerent)" King & Wood Mallesons
First World Problem Award
"The note pads in the board rooms are irritating (squared paper)." Macfarlanes
First World Solution Award
"Pleased to say that we have now reverted to non-scratchy pens." Macfarlanes
Bumlick Award
"Kevin Gold is a terrific leader, with a strong moral compass and is completely trusted." Mishcon de Reya
Motivational Speaking Award
"The partner who likes to give tours of the building, pointing out non-lawyers to their guests and calling them 'the overheads who don't make us any money' won't be winning any prizes for motivational speaking." Nabarro
Sleazebag Award
"A very senior partner in the Corporate practice undermines his management role by dallying with junior (blonde) associates." Allen & Overy
Sleazebag II Award
"Ditto the comments on the website about a corporate partner in a management role having a thing for blonde associates (and members of the finance team). Slimy." Allen & Overy
Dobby Award for Lowered Expectations
"There are loads of nice people. The likes of which will say hello to you in the corridor or urinate on you if you're on fire. Having worked for some absolute bastards over the years, it's quite refreshing." Addleshaw Goddard
"Unlike a previous London firm at which I worked, I can honestly say that I've never considered throwing myself under a bus while working here, which is definitely a positive." Travers
Thanks to everyone who took the time to enter the survey.
Comments
Is that the best you could do? You probably thought that was a witty and intelligent observation, in the same way you think reviewing documents in a dataroom is an important and fulfilling role. Your reports must be a joy to read - rants on missing commas and improper use of apostrophes no doubt feature prominently.