RollOnFriday has unearthed an excellent discussion board thread by 'Obadiah Hakeswill' listing 'what law firms would be, if they weren't law firms.'

For example, Bristows would be a gravy manufacturer. The IP firm approved of its alternative calling in a parallel universe:

Bristows tweet b


Here are other suggestions in that thread, along with RollOnFriday's illustrated interpretation: 


Addleshaw Goddard - c19th US president 

Addleshaws pic


Allen & Overy - Parts of the female reproductive system

A&O


Ashurst - Leafy Sydney suburb

Ashurst pic b


Baker Botts - Superhero's love interest

Baker Botts


Baker McKenzie - Superhero's stripper mistress

Baker McK


BCLP - Company of Canadian lumberjacks

BCLP


BDB Pitmans - Third rate English investment bank 

Pitmans


Bevan Brittan - Nationalistic 1950s politician

Pol


Bird & Bird -  Ornithologists' compendium 

Bird and Bird


BLM - Political and social sandwich 

Sandwich


Bristows - Gravy manufacturer

Bristows pic


Burges Salmon - Privileged fish

Burges Salmon pic


Capsticks - Victorian parlour game

Capsticks


Carey Olsen - Lesser known brother of Hollywood acting sisters

Olsen bro


Charles Russell Speechlys - c19th naval captain

CRS


Clarke Willmott - 1990s Australian fast bowler

Clarke


Clifford Chance - bookmakers

Clifford Chance bookie


Clyde & Co - Scottish football 'firm'

Clydes


CMS - Debilitative disease

CMS


DAC Beachcroft - Property surveyors

DACB


Debevoise & Plimpton - Upmarket umbrella merchants

Debevoise & Plimpton


Dechert - What comes after the main course

Dechert


Dentons - Auto repair 

Dentons


Dickinson Dees - Defunct Geordie snooker emporium

Snooker


DLA Piper - Regimental musician

dla


Drinker Biddle - Bitter PE teacher whose career was ended by injury

Drinker Biddle


DWF: Online forum for lovers of Casio watches

DWF watch


And if RollOnFriday wasn't the legal news and community website, it could have been a sandwich roll seller for corporate lunches (turns out it was, which would explain all those cheese roll orders we used to receive):


RollOnFriday

ROF


Part two to follow. In the meantime, the original thread can be seen here. Tip of the hat to 'Obadiah Hakeswill'. Other suggestions for firms welcomed in the comments below.


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Comments

Anonymous 27 January 23 10:32

Love it. Drinker Biddle is the PE teacher we all had at school.

Anonemouse 28 January 23 12:38

Love the BLM one! If only they still existed. The best thing to happen last year was Clyde & Co obliterating them. 

Anonymous 31 January 23 10:09

The Dentons logo is a subtle improvement

You can run BLM partners, but you cannot hide 17 February 23 08:20

Poor old BLM.  

Phase 1 - Client capture - accomplished.

Phase 2 - BLM Partner extraction - in progress.  

Anonymous 24 February 23 17:53

Looking forward to Moon Beaver, Coffin Mew and Wright Hassle coming up on this list...

Non 10 March 23 10:18

'Navel captain' - belly laughing at that one!

bk917 24 March 23 22:47

Skadden is clearly the name of the Empire in Star Wars.

Part 2 22 April 23 05:24

Waiting for Part 2. Eagerly 🤩 

Also, members should really start posting under their own names, rather than alternative and anonymous handles - a lot of hilarious commentators here, and I would hire them, honestly, based on their comment styles, reflective wit and sense of humour. 

Scroobius pip 11 May 23 18:07

Keystone 

Magical artefact from Lord of the Rings

Anonymous 19 May 23 17:30

Gunner Cooke - the bold Army catering corps lance-corporal who manned the machine guns in WW1 when Jerry blew up his field kitchen.

Temple Bright - the home of a new and disturbing cult of lightbulb worshippers.