RollOnFriday has unearthed an excellent discussion board thread by 'Obadiah Hakeswill' listing 'what law firms would be, if they weren't law firms.'
For example, Bristows would be a gravy manufacturer. The IP firm approved of its alternative calling in a parallel universe:
Here are other suggestions in that thread, along with RollOnFriday's illustrated interpretation:
Addleshaw Goddard - c19th US president
Allen & Overy - Parts of the female reproductive system
Ashurst - Leafy Sydney suburb
Baker Botts - Superhero's love interest
Baker McKenzie - Superhero's stripper mistress
BCLP - Company of Canadian lumberjacks
BDB Pitmans - Third rate English investment bank
Bevan Brittan - Nationalistic 1950s politician
Bird & Bird - Ornithologists' compendium
BLM - Political and social sandwich
Bristows - Gravy manufacturer
Burges Salmon - Privileged fish
Capsticks - Victorian parlour game
Carey Olsen - Lesser known brother of Hollywood acting sisters
Charles Russell Speechlys - c19th naval captain
Clarke Willmott - 1990s Australian fast bowler
Clifford Chance - bookmakers
Clyde & Co - Scottish football 'firm'
CMS - Debilitative disease
DAC Beachcroft - Property surveyors
Debevoise & Plimpton - Upmarket umbrella merchants
Dechert - What comes after the main course
Dentons - Auto repair
Dickinson Dees - Defunct Geordie snooker emporium
DLA Piper - Regimental musician
Drinker Biddle - Bitter PE teacher whose career was ended by injury
DWF: Online forum for lovers of Casio watches
And if RollOnFriday wasn't the legal news and community website, it could have been a sandwich roll seller for corporate lunches (turns out it was, which would explain all those cheese roll orders we used to receive):
Part two to follow. In the meantime, the original thread can be seen here. Tip of the hat to 'Obadiah Hakeswill'. Other suggestions for firms welcomed in the comments below.
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Love it. Drinker Biddle is the PE teacher we all had at school.
Clyde & Co is my favourite.
Love the BLM one! If only they still existed. The best thing to happen last year was Clyde & Co obliterating them.
The Dentons logo is a subtle improvement
Poor old BLM.
Phase 1 - Client capture - accomplished.
Phase 2 - BLM Partner extraction - in progress.
Looking forward to Moon Beaver, Coffin Mew and Wright Hassle coming up on this list...
'Navel captain' - belly laughing at that one!
Skadden is clearly the name of the Empire in Star Wars.
Waiting for Part 2. Eagerly 🤩
Also, members should really start posting under their own names, rather than alternative and anonymous handles - a lot of hilarious commentators here, and I would hire them, honestly, based on their comment styles, reflective wit and sense of humour.
Magical artefact from Lord of the Rings
Gunner Cooke - the bold Army catering corps lance-corporal who manned the machine guns in WW1 when Jerry blew up his field kitchen.
Temple Bright - the home of a new and disturbing cult of lightbulb worshippers.
Shoosmiths - no idea what to do with that.