RollOnFriday has unearthed an excellent discussion board thread by 'Obadiah Hakeswill' listing 'what law firms would be, if they weren't law firms.'

For example, Bristows would be a gravy manufacturer. The IP firm approved of its alternative calling in a parallel universe:

Bristows tweet b

Here are other suggestions in that thread, along with RollOnFriday's illustrated interpretation: 

Addleshaw Goddard - c19th US president 

Addleshaws pic

Allen & Overy - Parts of the female reproductive system


Ashurst - Leafy Sydney suburb

Ashurst pic b

Baker Botts - Superhero's love interest

Baker Botts

Baker McKenzie - Superhero's stripper mistress

Baker McK

BCLP - Company of Canadian lumberjacks


BDB Pitmans - Third rate English investment bank 


Bevan Brittan - Nationalistic 1950s politician


Bird & Bird -  Ornithologists' compendium 

Bird and Bird

BLM - Political and social sandwich 


Bristows - Gravy manufacturer

Bristows pic

Burges Salmon - Privileged fish

Burges Salmon pic

Capsticks - Victorian parlour game


Carey Olsen - Lesser known brother of Hollywood acting sisters

Olsen bro

Charles Russell Speechlys - c19th naval captain


Clarke Willmott - 1990s Australian fast bowler


Clifford Chance - bookmakers

Clifford Chance bookie

Clyde & Co - Scottish football 'firm'


CMS - Debilitative disease


DAC Beachcroft - Property surveyors


Debevoise & Plimpton - Upmarket umbrella merchants

Debevoise & Plimpton

Dechert - What comes after the main course


Dentons - Auto repair 


Dickinson Dees - Defunct Geordie snooker emporium


DLA Piper - Regimental musician


Drinker Biddle - Bitter PE teacher whose career was ended by injury

Drinker Biddle

DWF: Online forum for lovers of Casio watches

DWF watch

And if RollOnFriday wasn't the legal news and community website, it could have been a sandwich roll seller for corporate lunches (turns out it was, which would explain all those cheese roll orders we used to receive):



Part two to follow. In the meantime, the original thread can be seen here. Tip of the hat to 'Obadiah Hakeswill'. Other suggestions for firms welcomed in the comments below.

lu logo

Whether you're just curious or ready for your next career move, LawyerUp means you'll never miss approaches from top employers who want you. Free and available now on the App Store and Google Play.



Anonymous 27 January 23 10:32

Love it. Drinker Biddle is the PE teacher we all had at school.

Anonemouse 28 January 23 12:38

Love the BLM one! If only they still existed. The best thing to happen last year was Clyde & Co obliterating them. 

Anonymous 31 January 23 10:09

The Dentons logo is a subtle improvement

You can run BLM partners, but you cannot hide 17 February 23 08:20

Poor old BLM.  

Phase 1 - Client capture - accomplished.

Phase 2 - BLM Partner extraction - in progress.  

Anonymous 24 February 23 17:53

Looking forward to Moon Beaver, Coffin Mew and Wright Hassle coming up on this list...

Non 10 March 23 10:18

'Navel captain' - belly laughing at that one!

bk917 24 March 23 22:47

Skadden is clearly the name of the Empire in Star Wars.

Part 2 22 April 23 05:24

Waiting for Part 2. Eagerly 🤩 

Also, members should really start posting under their own names, rather than alternative and anonymous handles - a lot of hilarious commentators here, and I would hire them, honestly, based on their comment styles, reflective wit and sense of humour. 

Scroobius pip 11 May 23 18:07


Magical artefact from Lord of the Rings

Anonymous 19 May 23 17:30

Gunner Cooke - the bold Army catering corps lance-corporal who manned the machine guns in WW1 when Jerry blew up his field kitchen.

Temple Bright - the home of a new and disturbing cult of lightbulb worshippers.