If law firms were not law firms
Obadiah Hakeswill 10 Feb 21 21:14
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Addleshaw Goddard - c19th US president 

Allen & Overy - Parts of the female reproductive system

Ashurst - Leafy Sydney suburb 

Baker Botts - Superhero's love interest

Baker McKenzie - Superhero's stripper mistress

BCLP - Company of Canadian lumberjacks

BDB Pitmans - Third rate English investment bank 

Bevan Brittan - Nationalistic 1950s politician

Bircham Dyson Bell - Shared workspace start-up aimed at industrial engineers 

Bird & Bird - Ornithologists' compendium 

BLM - Political and social sandwich 

Bristows - Gravy manufacturer

Burges Salmon - Privileged fish

Capsticks - Victorian parlour game

Carey Olsen - Lesser known younger brother of Hollywood acting sisters 

Charles Russell Speechlys - c19th navel captain

Clarke Willmott - 1990's Australian fast bowler

Clifford Chance - Media magnate 

Clyde & Co - Scottish football 'firm'

CMS - Debilitative disease  

DAC Beachcroft - Property surveyors

Debevoise & Plimpton - Upmarket umbrella merchants

Dechert - What comes after the main course

Dentons - Auto repair 

DLA Piper - Regimental musician  

DWF - Online forum for lovers of Casio watches

Eversheds Sutherland - Northern garden furniture wholesaler 

Farrers - Posh upholstery merchant

Fieldfisher - Detectorist 

Freshfields - Vegetable wholesaler

Gowling WLG - English cricketer

Herbert Smith Freehills - Apache child adopted by English family

HFW - Preachy celebrity chef 

Hill Dickinson - South London auctioneers 

Hogan Lovells - Male porn star

Ince - 1990's midfield enforcer

Irwin Mitchell - Used car salesmen

Jones Day - Estate agents 

K&L Gates - Budget landscaper

Kennedys - Well known Australian family

Kirkland & Ellis - A couple of cvnts 

KWM - Pirate radio station

Latham & Watkins - Fictional detective duo

Linklaters - Defence technology company 

Macfarlanes - Tobacco company 

Mishcon De Reya - South American freedom fighter

Morrison Foerster - Frontiersman 

Norton Rose Fulbright - Given names of celebrity couple's son

Ogier - Major of French town

Osborne Clarke - Sommelier at Michelin-starred Melbourne restaurant 

Penningtons Manches - Midsomer village, next to Badger's Drift

Pinsent Masons - Churchbuilding cabal  

Plexus - Wrestling move

PWC - Abacus monkeys 

Radcliffes Le Brasseur - French restaurant at Dubai hotel run by third rate English chef

Reed Smith - Superhero alias

RPC - Authoritarian dictatorship 

Sackers - Badger cullers

Shakespeare Martineau - Highbrow literary agents 

Sherman & Sterling - Film production company

Shoosmiths - Cobblers

Sidley Austin - American actress

Simmons & Simmons - Business partners to Ebenezer Scrooge 

Skadden Arps - Austrian Ski resort

Slater and Gordon - Old school police deputies 

Slaughter & May - Sex shop 

Squire Patton Boggs - Eligible bachelor in c19th Philadelphia 

Stephenson Harwood - Goven shipyard 

Taylor Wessing - Gunsmith 

TLT - Online entertainment news channel

Travers Smith - Construction equipment manufacturer

Trowers & Hamlins - Shitty east end London borough

Walker Morris - Cartographers

Watson, Farley & Williams - Motown trio

Weil - A face-covering 

White & Case - Wine merchants 

Winston & Strawn - Political lobbyists 

Withers - PA to Fortune 500 CEO

Womble Bond Dickinson - Childrens' TV show / spy franchise crossover 

National Accident Helpline - Kraftwerk album

Sydney Mitchell - 1940s trade union leader 

Lee Crowder - asbo recipient

Winns - number 37 in John Peel’s Festive Fifty in 1989

Mills & Reeve - publishers specialising in political autobiographies

Gateley Wareing - runner-up in Dorset in Bloom 2019

Weightmans - protein powder

Penningtons Manches - mediaeval term for the right of the Lord of the manor to take the first born of every goat

Browne Jacobson - illegal in southern states

Blake Morgan - the third Persuader

Forsters - larger

Lewis Silkin - the token twot in The Apprentice 

this is good, but, dude, you've done most already...

Quinn Emmannuel - Catholic festival for very tall strikers...

Freeths - Australian fishing bailiffs of scots origin

Wasn't really expecting people to have a go, to be honest. I needed a brain break from staring at SPAs all day and took the list from the inside info section. 

Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz - we sort your timepiece, give you a cup of tea, sort some flowers for the wife and look after your feline pets; think of us as the ultimate concierge

Sullivan & Cromwell - tv studio producing crap soap opera with a side order of sectarian violence 

Moon Beever - sex shop

Dickinson Dees - defunct geordie snooker emporium 



Obers, you have hit Rof copper - if you can get Mutters out, you may get Rof Gold...


Winkworth Sherwood - mid-tier Nottingham Estate Agent...

Some alternatives:

Clifford Chance - bookmakers

Linklaters - should be golf club bar or 19th hole but makes me think old school dating agency 

Slaughter and May - pest controllers

Womble Bond Dickinson - children's espionage adventures going underground and overground, in search of cash in the attic. 

Sorry, it's been a while. 

Radcliffes Le Brasseur - French restaurant at Dubai hotel run by third rate English chef. 


That made me feel a bit queasy. 

Wragge & Co - Britfunk outfit who had a brief spell of success in 1981

Edge Ellison - character in a John Ford Western

Coward Chance - antagonist to Edge Ellison

Clifford Turner - scored the winner in the FA Cup Final in 1958

Kenneth Turner Brown - commentator on the Boat Race for the Third Programme in the 1930s

McKennas - the north's second-largest haulage company

Theodore Goddard - vice-president to Rutherford B Hayes

Bird & Bird - dating service for women who like women

Ince - dating service for men who like women but whom women do not like

Ogier is the name of a notorious Channel Islands villain. Clifford is an entirely fictitious name made up by Ray Turner to make them sound more respectable.

Davis Polk - A condition involving restricted movement of the knee joint following over-exuberant dancing by middle-aged men

Burges Salmon - fee paid for the right to an enfeoffment under the Demesne Abatement Act 1451

Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner - prog rock band’s new name after losing the rights to their original 

Mourant Du Feu - prog rock band’s original name

SJ Berwin - Shop that sells City workers shirts with a pricing structure that makes anything other than 5 shirts at a time uneconomical. Then presumably makes a fat margin on ties and cufflinks. 

SJ Berwin - amateur jockey

Coffin Mew Clover - 19C funeral directors

Shadbolt - DIY warehouse

Rawlison Butler - cigar sommelier