Thanks very much to the Roffer who sent in the following tale of woe and despair. Sadly - for reasons of space - we can only present the edited highlights.
An advert posted on a university careers website catches the eye:
"Do you want after 5 year to become a VAT Specialist advising the top FTSE companies in all aspects of VAT legislation? Well paid, generous holidays and pension provision; city centre location with prospects of international travel. THEN READ NO FURTHER. Sadly we offer none of the foregoing. We are a medium sized firm offering a broad range of experience with a focus on litigation. Candidates will need a strong sense of humour, have your feet on the ground, a commitment to people and a reasonably good intellect. An LLb degree is required. Please send a CV and covering letter (consideration will be given to globe trotting, team playing, Himalyan walkers with extensive experience in the Checkout in Tesco) to us".
RoF Team - suspicions already raised.
Our Roffer takes up the tale:
"So I sent in a CV and received a letter informing me I had been selected to "participate in a one day preliminary selection process". We were told to meet, go for a walk up a hill, have lunch and then complete two exercises.
14 candidates arrived at 9.45am only to be left standing there for half an hour wondering if we had been set up. Half an hour later the solicitor arrived and did a head count where he discovered we were one candidate short. He decided the missing candidate "would just have to catch up" and proceeded to climb the hill. You might be imagining that he worked his way around the group chatting to candidates as they climbed, but this didn't happen".
RoF Team - conversation and walking at the same time is very difficult for your average solicitor.
"When we reached the top of the hill we were given the first "task". Composing a limerick about the hill climb to recite to the group. Pen and paper were not allowed.
When we had successful walked back down the hill we were told to meet the solicitor at a local coffee shop which was about 10mins drive away. We arrived at the coffee shop to discover the solicitor sat at a table with the 3 female candidates who had arrived in the quickest time. The solicitor remained with these girls for the duration of the hour without so much as asking for the names of the remaining 10 of us sitting at nearby tables.
RoF Team - it's rare and exciting for male solicitors to be allowed out the office. The added attraction of girls may well have melted his mind.
"When the hour had passed the solicitor informed us all to travel back to the starting point. On arrival we met the missing candidate who had turned up late and then climbed the entire hill on her own before waiting around for an hour."
RoF Team - enjoying the commitment of the late-arrival. Climbing the hill alone is a sign of great potential.
"We then had lunch whilst the solicitor spoke exclusively to the three females he had sat with in the coffee house. For me, the most awkward moment of the meal was when one of the aforementioned ladies said "how is your chocolate sauce?" which caused the solicitor to reply "lovely, how is your toffee sauce?" upon which she responded by offering the solicitor a bit of her dessert on her spoon. I felt this was a hugely flirtatious action at a recruitment event and I was extremely grateful that he didn't accept her saucy offering".
RoF Team - you may have been grateful, RoF Team is astonished.
"As promised we were then sat in a circle and told to recite our limerick to the group. This was an awkward and lengthy process.
We were then told the second task was to come up with a media campaign for family law mediation services. At this point another solicitor from the firm who had joined us for the afternoon said "shouldn't they have name badges on? How do you know who they are?" She then proceeded to pass out labels which was a nice gesture but bearing in mind this was 4pm and we were destined to finish at 5pm; it was pointless.
We were then split into two groups and told "I want to see how you work in a team". The solicitors then LEFT THE ROOM to have coffee in the hotel bar. They returned to see the finished articles: two crappy TV adverts we had come up with in the dying half hour before we got to go home.
We were then sat in a circle again and told the most infuriating piece of news of the day: one candidate selected for interview hadn't been able to make the selection process as they were on holiday. "In the interests of fairness", the no-show would be given a one-to-one session with the firm before they considered which four to take to the next stage.
Needless to say that on receiving the obligatory "I regret to advise you..."
The depressing thing is that despite being able to say that I have literally climbed a hill, composed a limerick and written a TV ad in my search for a traineeship, it was all a waste of time, petrol and effort.
In short, it's insane the hoops that trainee candidates are willing to jump through in the race to a training contract".
Got anything similar you'd like to share with fellow Roffers? Send it in here.
An advert posted on a university careers website catches the eye:
"Do you want after 5 year to become a VAT Specialist advising the top FTSE companies in all aspects of VAT legislation? Well paid, generous holidays and pension provision; city centre location with prospects of international travel. THEN READ NO FURTHER. Sadly we offer none of the foregoing. We are a medium sized firm offering a broad range of experience with a focus on litigation. Candidates will need a strong sense of humour, have your feet on the ground, a commitment to people and a reasonably good intellect. An LLb degree is required. Please send a CV and covering letter (consideration will be given to globe trotting, team playing, Himalyan walkers with extensive experience in the Checkout in Tesco) to us".
RoF Team - suspicions already raised.
Our Roffer takes up the tale:
"So I sent in a CV and received a letter informing me I had been selected to "participate in a one day preliminary selection process". We were told to meet, go for a walk up a hill, have lunch and then complete two exercises.
14 candidates arrived at 9.45am only to be left standing there for half an hour wondering if we had been set up. Half an hour later the solicitor arrived and did a head count where he discovered we were one candidate short. He decided the missing candidate "would just have to catch up" and proceeded to climb the hill. You might be imagining that he worked his way around the group chatting to candidates as they climbed, but this didn't happen".
RoF Team - conversation and walking at the same time is very difficult for your average solicitor.
"When we reached the top of the hill we were given the first "task". Composing a limerick about the hill climb to recite to the group. Pen and paper were not allowed.
When we had successful walked back down the hill we were told to meet the solicitor at a local coffee shop which was about 10mins drive away. We arrived at the coffee shop to discover the solicitor sat at a table with the 3 female candidates who had arrived in the quickest time. The solicitor remained with these girls for the duration of the hour without so much as asking for the names of the remaining 10 of us sitting at nearby tables.
RoF Team - it's rare and exciting for male solicitors to be allowed out the office. The added attraction of girls may well have melted his mind.
"When the hour had passed the solicitor informed us all to travel back to the starting point. On arrival we met the missing candidate who had turned up late and then climbed the entire hill on her own before waiting around for an hour."
RoF Team - enjoying the commitment of the late-arrival. Climbing the hill alone is a sign of great potential.
"We then had lunch whilst the solicitor spoke exclusively to the three females he had sat with in the coffee house. For me, the most awkward moment of the meal was when one of the aforementioned ladies said "how is your chocolate sauce?" which caused the solicitor to reply "lovely, how is your toffee sauce?" upon which she responded by offering the solicitor a bit of her dessert on her spoon. I felt this was a hugely flirtatious action at a recruitment event and I was extremely grateful that he didn't accept her saucy offering".
RoF Team - you may have been grateful, RoF Team is astonished.
"As promised we were then sat in a circle and told to recite our limerick to the group. This was an awkward and lengthy process.
We were then told the second task was to come up with a media campaign for family law mediation services. At this point another solicitor from the firm who had joined us for the afternoon said "shouldn't they have name badges on? How do you know who they are?" She then proceeded to pass out labels which was a nice gesture but bearing in mind this was 4pm and we were destined to finish at 5pm; it was pointless.
We were then split into two groups and told "I want to see how you work in a team". The solicitors then LEFT THE ROOM to have coffee in the hotel bar. They returned to see the finished articles: two crappy TV adverts we had come up with in the dying half hour before we got to go home.
We were then sat in a circle again and told the most infuriating piece of news of the day: one candidate selected for interview hadn't been able to make the selection process as they were on holiday. "In the interests of fairness", the no-show would be given a one-to-one session with the firm before they considered which four to take to the next stage.
Needless to say that on receiving the obligatory "I regret to advise you..."
The depressing thing is that despite being able to say that I have literally climbed a hill, composed a limerick and written a TV ad in my search for a traineeship, it was all a waste of time, petrol and effort.
In short, it's insane the hoops that trainee candidates are willing to jump through in the race to a training contract".
Got anything similar you'd like to share with fellow Roffers? Send it in here.
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