I feel your pain. 

That may be the best pun I've ever done. Not much of a benchmark admittedly. 

I'm not going to rise to it. 

Point clearly proven.

More akin to weaponised dwarf bread than tasty artisan sourdough. 

crumbs.  Use your loaf next time.

Heh @ Bentines, that's a cracker*. Hope you did a lap of honour round the office.

*yeah, I know that's lame.