Scene: A flat roofed pub in Rainham. It's Friday night and it's 3 deep at the bar, just before last orders and a few toothless locals are playing the fruit machines with the last remnants of their gyros. 

Mugen is sat at a table with a roofer named Derek. Derek has a bulldog tattoo on each eyelid. There are stacks of pint glasses on the table and a chess board. Even a casual observer can see that black is losing badly. Mugen is playing black and has been pondering his move for a long time.

Derek: Finish

Mugen: Really mate, I had no idea. I thought you were from Barking 

Derek: fooking finish you mug. It's last orders.

Mugen: That's so interesting. Sorry about the whole Brexit thing. I always thought we had loads in common with the Fins.

Derek sighs and closes his eyes 

Mugen: Look we even share bulldogs as a cultural meme. Wow.

Derek: I'm getting sick of this. I'm going for another round. Don't even think about cheating you slag or I'll shove my fist up your arse and make you sing like orville.

Mugen gets a surreptitious boner under the table 

Mugen: Hey, we need to finish this game. What say we pack up and finish up at my place?

Derek: Have you got any Tennants?

Mugen: No, I live alone.

Derek: Whatever we can stop at the offy.

Mugen, now sporting an impressive trouser horn leads Derek out of the pub towards his bedsit.

To be continued...

If you used the scandinavian defence you deserved to lose

HEH @ Rhialto.

It’s chess960 you spaz. The whole point is you can’t start talking in openings like some kind of fusty geography teacher.

And lol @ Rod Royalty

Don’t really understand what that means tbh but it is quite a funny picture!

Rod knows, m7.

Rod knows.

BC why do you also post as wibble when you can't maintain the distinction? As a reminder, wibble account is the one that posts 'hilarious' pics and GIFs. BC account is the racist brexiter who thinks he is trolling but is actually a sad sack who I pity.

Just be yourself man.

Tbh I thought you were all equally wibblish twots