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Let your next career move come to you.

Cycling on the pavement

Just got caught in an epic example of this

Multiple bicycles, insane

Asked the lead cyclist wtf he was doing and he said it's allowed under right to fooking roam?!?!?!

Jesusing hell I wish someone would invent handlebar transmissible ebola

Exfookingzactly

Although maybe you can roam on a bike but you can't roam on a bike on a fooking pedestrian pathway in the middle of a city!

So angry

There's a crazy man who does it near my flat but I don't mind him because he's crazy rather than braying

This is what its like in suburban London Clergs. Round here they want to cut the pavement in half to allow for a dedicated cycle lane. Presumably pedestrians can go fvck themselves.

this week I saw a woman cycling on the pavement with her small son up front, neither of them with cycling helmets and the boy was balancing on her knee. Presumably she thought that was safe enough, on the pavement. She also had one hand on the handle bar and in the other was on the phone.

He said "I bet you're the kind of person who would prefer nobody cycle at all" and I said "well yes because most cyclists seem to be awful idiots like you!!! Nobody needs to cycle!" Aaaaaaaaaaaaarg.

Presumably he thinks I own a polluting truck or something. Wish I did. "Oops what was that squish?"

I once yelled at a bloke as he was on the pavement in a very thin section of pavement “aren’t you a bit big for the bloody pavement mate!?”

He seemed to ignore me so I thought that was that until I got onto the platform at the station and saw that nobby the bikeidiot was waiting for a train.  Not only did we get the same train but we sat awkwardly opposite one another for the entire 26 minute journey into London.

I half expected the w**ker to walk into a new client meeting I had scheduled that day, thankfully not.  Bike w**ker.

w**kers. 

worse still are the cityw**kerbikew**kers who ask if you cycle (by which they mean go slowly up Box Hill every Saturday dressed as a condom).  No.  *withering look of pity*

(I do actually do a bit of mountain biking which is actually fun but I dont mention that for fear of being labelled as one of them.)

You are correct to hide your secret, wang

When I was berating him I had this 1% fear that he might actually be a policeman. He had that kind of face. But he was not. Stupid crimetwot.

Never mind eh advent tomorrow.

my 7 year old gave me an advent calendar yesterday eve - he said "I felt sad that you didnt have one and everyone else does" (lego, playmobile, chocolate etc.) "I couldnt make the doors open to hide anything so I thought you could just have a beer or some cheese".

trained that boy well

the handlebar transmissible ebola is a nice idea but complex. I think you should just contact GRU and get one of those pump dispensers and squirt a blast of Novichok at them.

I’ve done bike holidays, mountain biking through forests, road cycling, got all the stuff even bike boxes for when I take them on a plane.  But I am never a twot about cycling, I don’t drone on about it endlessly and I can assure you that I never ride on the sodding pavement.  w**kers.

Clergs sets off to work.

Gets on bus.  Unexpectedly dons NBC suit. People look (rightly) concerned.  PFFFT! to all yous fookers!

Gets off

Walks down town. Crowds part in horror. PFFFT PFFFT and you! Yeah, you'll get yours too PFFFT

Arrives at office. Stands in reception PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. People arrive. PFFT. another PFFT. PFT PFT.

Gets in lift.  PFFFFFT to all you bastuds.

Goes round floor. PFFT to yous tax fannies. PFFT the lot of ya.

heh when I post on my phone the italics come on automatically for some reason. Otherwise I can’t click on the posting field. 

But maybe I’ll make it my new posting signature. Like Sep used to sign off all his posts..

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