Commuting Confrontations

Roffers, have you ever had a confrontation/argument/run-in with someone on the commute?

Had my first one this morning in the queue for Waterloo and City line (which was absolutely fooking rammed FAOD). This guy was outside of the queue line and kept trying to tap his card between people. When it was my turn, I tapped my card as was my right, having queued like a civilised person, before he could. He then fully shoulder barged straight into my chest and started mouthing something.

Had to turn off my morning choons and small argument ensued, upshot of which was he accused me of having jumped the queue and sounded like he was going to cry in this comically aristocratic whine. He tried shoving past on the ramp down to the platform too. Basically told him to stfu and get a grip, none of us will be late for work and walked off while he was still muttering away.

Basic question is: what is about the commute that makes people act like kh***s? Interested to hear other experiences and behavioural theories.

hmmm I think for him I might deploy the old

"my goodness is everything all right? you seem rather unwell. Do you need help? Can I call someone for you? No no I insist -  let's ask this nice man here. Do you carry medication?"


Weirdest and with the greatest possibility to turn bad were probably those on the DC Metro when I lived in the US. The metro systems there just seem to attract the crazy. This particular gentleman was topless, appeared to be under the influence of something and was shouting at people about how he would fook their wives and said wives wouldn't go back to their husbands. 

It is a sense of entitlement. 'How dare you get in my way, do you know who I am'.

Yeah, you are some stupid mouthy little prick. I avoid London commuting now.

Airports are just as bad.

Love that, Rham, kill them with kindness. And I agree, Chambers, felt a lot like entitlement to me. Would explain why he'd think normal to go straight to the front of the queue and tap between people. Unfortunately WFH isn't great for me and the office is much better so I commute pretty much everyday, but I had to come in earlier than normal today so was subject to pure, undiluted commuter hell. 

Did have the mild horror-inducing panic afterwards that he could have been a partner at my shop. Luckily don't think that's the case.  

The worst was on a 'bus replacement service when some poor lady was being harassed by a drunk. When I intervened, an MoD Plod who had been watching the whole thing threatened me with arrest. While I was happy he had the authority of a constable to do so, it wasn't clear what he was going to arrest me for. White knighting on an omnibus? I told him not to be silly, and he hopped off next stop. 

I enjoy barrier-blocking those cretins who find a 2-person-wide queue for the turnstiles and then trying to create a third leg to the queue, featuring just them.  

Lad - the bin is yours, get in it.


"When it was my turn, I tapped my card as was my right, having queued like a civilised person, before he could."

Doesn't ring true with this:

"Basically told him to stfu and get a grip"

Loads during my 'angry years', was lucky to get away with a couple of them.  Ironically, I happen to think that being in everyone's face/space commuting and crowds in general make London people much less aggressive overall, compared to NZ where invasion of space, accidental or otherwise, is a major red flag.  I've always thought NZ worse for casual violence, due probably to less knives & similar, and less need to 'get along' in shared spaces   

Apparently there's a major domestic violence problem in NZ too. Never would have thought of it, I always think of it as a calm and passive place . But fostered very much by Flight of the Concords, Neil Finn and my very calm and passive late uncle who lived most of his life there, none of which are possibly representative data points

My demeanour and physical poise conveys the message that if you step to me, you are going to hit the deck flat back on your back. So, no, nobody on the commute has chosen to mess.

"If I had he'd have gone through that wall"

I dunno Laz he looks pretty trim mate

"Yeah? Against karate?"

It also happens while driving and even commuting in London by bike.  The world is just full of vvankers.

I don't really get triggered by queue-cutters- so I'm 0.3 seconds behind, who cares man, I'm not going to risk getting stabbed for it.  

somebody had a pop at me the other day for , so he claimed, getting on the train before another person who had got off to allow people off had got back on. I think he said i trod on her foot. she didn't say anything.


he may have had a point. I was distracted by spotify, more specifically Os Mutantes


I try quite hard to be zen on commutes. they are fundamentally unpleasant so it's not surprising people get hot under the collar from time to time