In-house lawyers have been revealing the best and worst perks they have been offered by law firms, and their answers reveal the overwhelming importance of social skills.

Flash sporting events are predictably popular, with Linklaters' Wimbledon tickets and Squire Patton Boggs' trips to the Cheltenham races winning plaudits. Catering to personal turn-ons can also work wonders. "I got a nice pen from Al Tamimi & Co", raves one senior in-houser. "It has a squidgy grip and is of satisfyingly stumpy length"

When it comes to terrible perks,many a jolly has been ruined by stilted conversation and stiff company. According to the in-house lawyer taken to Wembley by Pinsent Masons, their trip was perfect, except for one thing: "We had to talk to them for an afternoon. Not worth it".

    "Oh, you all made it. Great."

Another firm's gift was also ruined by its own presence. The worst perk is "no perk", writes an in-house lawyer, with one exception: "Hill Dickinson regularly offers to upgrade our train tickets to first class so that we can sit with them on journeys to and from project meetings". But no amount of careful planning can avoid some perks falling flat: "The annual gift of 'Freshfields on Corporate Pensions' is surprisingly depressing", says a weary recipient.

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